It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by DreamGWTW
Summary: What if Scarlett woke up one morning to find that she has lost her memory? Takes place after the separate bedrooms incident but before the birthday party.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I'm just going to explain a few things very quickly. Scarlett loses her memory because she is suffering from what is now called, "Dissociative Amnesia." It's extremely rare, it usually occurs when a person suffers from psychological trauma or/and when a person does not deal with their issues. It is usually temporary, but it depends on the person. (Retrieved this information off the internet and through further academic research as of now as well). Anyway, I know it is a very 'soap opera ish' plot device, but I really wanted to write this story anyway ;)**

March 1871

A shrill scream rang through the ostentatious mansion, coming from Scarlett's bedroom and causing everyone to stop what they were doing. Rhett was breakfasting with the children early that morning, and when he heard Scarlett's loud shriek, he assumed she was having another one of her reoccurring nightmares, though he thought it strange that she should be suffering from one of them in the morning. He was hesitant to check up on her because they had quarreled viciously the previous day but he could not bear to hear the sound of pain and fear in her voice as she was being chased by her demons, so he decided to go up to her room and wake her.

Scarlett eyes were wide with fear as she clutched the sheets surrounding her, fear paralyzing her. Not only did she not know what she was doing in this unfamiliar room but she also did not remember who she was. She closed her eyes, praying that she would wake from this nightmare and hoping that this overwhelming and sickening panic would evaporate when she opened her eyes again, and then her eyes abruptly flashed open at the creaking sound of the opening bedroom door.

Expecting to find a tossing and turning Scarlett in the midst of a terrible dream, Rhett was stunned to find her staring at him with unequivocal terror in her misty green eyes.

"Scarlett, what's wrong?" he asked, alarm evident in his voice.

He walked towards her slowly and she shrunk away, pulling the covers tightly about her and pressing her back right up against the headboard of the bed.

"Don't touch me! Don't come near me!" she shouted, trembling uncontrollably.

Rhett was shocked, and he stopped in place, barely even nearing the bed. Although they hadn't been on good terms lately, he did not believe that their relationship had deteriorated to the point where she would look at him as if he were a dangerous stranger who'd harm her.

"Scarlett why—" he started then stopped when he saw how she hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face into the covers, sobbing frantically.

He was at a loss of what to do. She clearly did not want him nearing her, but he could not possibly leave her falling to pieces like this. He decided to cautiously walk over to her, treading lightly, though he also did not want to startle her by just suddenly appearing by her side.

"Scarlett, I won't hurt you," he whispered reassuringly, getting closer to her as he spoke, and then finally reaching the bed.

As she continued to weep and mumble unintelligible words into the sheets, Rhett slowly sat on the side and the bed and gently placed a loving hand on her shoulder, but she recoiled from his touch as if he had burned her with his touch.

"Darling, please tell me what's wrong. Do you want me to go get Mammy?"

She remained unresponsive, her eyes locked to the sheets in front of her, and Rhett, now frustrated, did not know what else there was to do if she refused to speak to him.

"Scarlett, look at me," he now said more forcefully.

She lifted her head from her knees to look at him, seeing the deep concern in the unfamiliar man's dark eyes, which was somewhat comforting given the circumstances. Rhett sucked in a deep breath when all he saw in her eyes was fear. He could not even manage to find a glimmer of the woman he'd married in those terrified green depths.

"Who are you?" she asked faintly, tears still spilling down the sides of her ghostly pale cheeks.

Taken aback and stung by her words, Rhett started to panic. This woman was not his wife. He'd seen Scarlett look at him in many ways before, sometimes with gratitude, with friendship, with irritation, or even with hate burning in her eyes, but he'd never seen her looking at him with anxiety, her eyes lost and empty. He couldn't even see her anymore.

"Dear God, Scarlett, do you not recognize me?" he asked anxiously, praying he had misheard though knowing deep down he hadn't.

Rhett didn't know what could have possibly been wrong if she were truly being honest about not knowing who he was. Although she'd gone to bed in a furious rage the night before, she seemed perfectly fine despite their heated argument.

Scarlett was thoroughly terrified. This man obviously knew who she was and she couldn't even recognize him. She tried to wrack her brain to find some memory of this man, of herself, but there was nothing there. It was as if she was searching for something that had vanished or perhaps hadn't ever existed. It was so frustrating and frightening at the same time, and she would have gladly preferred death to the unknown existence she was faced with.

"No, no," she said shaking her head vigorously. "Please tell me what I'm doing here. I can't remember…I can't— please," she cried hysterically, hoping this man would give her the answers she needed.

She covered her face with her hands, crying wildly, and Rhett's heart tightened with pain and worry. She looked like a helplessly lost child, and he did not know how to save her. The only time he'd ever seen Scarlett this vulnerable had been the night they'd escaped Atlanta together. Even then she'd tried to hold herself together as best she could, attempting to put on a brave front, but now all she seemed was defenseless.

Rhett wrapped his arm around her, not caring if she was bothered by his touch because he would not simply stand back and watch her cry, and he murmured into her hair, "It's alright darling, please don't cry, I'll take care of you. I'm going to go fetch a doctor."

Although she was in the arms of a stranger, she was fairly comforted by his soothing tone, and she felt relief at his words. This man was going to take care of things for her. She wasn't all alone.

Rhett waited anxiously with Scarlett for Dr. Meade, hoping he would know what was wrong and how to fix it. When he finally came, he ordered Rhett out of the room so that he could examine Scarlett. He would have never left her alone, but then again he realized that it was not as if he could be of much comfort to her since she did not even know who he was. While they had waited for the doctor, he had tried to fill in a few of the blanks for Scarlett, though he was afraid of frightening her more than she was already or overwhelming her with too much information.

As it was, when he had told Mammy of Scarlett's predicament, she'd gone up to see her, which had only made matters worse because Mammy could not accept that the woman sitting, terrified and confused in the bed, was not the little girl she'd known since birth, was not her lamb. Rhett had angrily sent Mammy out of the room and ordered her to watch over the children while he stayed with Scarlett, though he knew he could not blame Mammy for being upset. He was feeling just as she felt, but he knew he had to keep the façade of a cool demeanor so that they did not cause Scarlett more distress.

Rhett was pacing anxiously out in the hall in front of Scarlett's room, eager to speak to Dr. Meade. Never in his life had he felt this powerless, and it killed him. He desperately wanted to drink himself into a stupor to escape this horrible nightmare, but he managed to restrain himself, knowing he would be no help to his wife if he were intoxicated. When the doctor walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, Rhett was standing in front of him in an instant, his dark eyes hard and demanding.

"Well, what's wrong with her?" Rhett asked roughly.

"Captain Butler, I believe Scarlett is suffering from amnesia."

"What do you mean? That's impossible. She was fine yesterday."

"Has she had a fall of some sort? Is it possible that she has hit her head within the last twenty-four hours?"

"No. She was fine when she went to bed last night. Are you not listening to me? She woke up this way. You must be mistaken," Rhett answered, not even bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

"I'm sorry, but I am not. I do not know how to explain how it occurred, but she has no recollection of herself, of you, or of her family," the doctor answered, disclosing all he knew of her condition.

"Then what can we do? What's going to bring her back?" Rhett demanded, gripping the lapels of the doctor's jacket angrily.

"There's nothing you can do but wait," Dr. Meade said wearily, for once actually feeling pity for the tormented man in front of him. "She may or may not get her memory back, and I cannot make any estimation of the damage because I do not know what has caused the loss in memory. I suggest you gradually inform her of her past, and hopefully with time she will retrieve most of her memory. She may even regain her identity and her memory by the end of the day, by the end of the week, or by the end of the year, but like I said, we cannot know for certain."

"That's all you can say! There's nothing you or I can do!" he shouted, pushing the doctor out of the way as he walked over to the closed door.

"I'm sorry Captain Butler, but you need to be patient with her. It won't help anything if you try and force her to remember. It would only make matters worse."

Rhett squeezed his hands into hard fists, fighting the urge to strangle the idiot with his bare hands.

"Thank you for all of your help, but I think it is time you left," Rhett said stonily, his eyes boring into his like two dangerous daggers.

Dr. Meade took his leave without another word, Rhett's jeering sarcasm not lost on him, though he had to admit that he could not blame the man for his hostility.

Rhett walked back into the room despairingly, though he tried to mask his feelings once his eyes landed on Scarlett.

"How are you feeling? Was Dr. Meade kind to you?" Rhett asked softly, standing by the side of the bed.

"Yes, he was…fine," she answered, not knowing what else to say.

Rhett did not know how to talk to her or how to treat her. He did not want to act as if she was a stranger, but indeed she was. She was a stranger in his Scarlett's body, and he undoubtedly was a stranger to her as well. The thought of it killed him. He'd been hurt when she'd lain in his arms and pretended as if he were Ashley Wilkes, he'd been cut deeply when she told him she no longer wanted anymore children and banished him from their room, but nothing compared to this pain. Even though they hadn't been on good terms, he at least still had her in his life and still had the hope that she would come to care for him, but what hope was there now if she was gone forever? Rhett shudder at the thought of living the rest of his life without her.

"Would you—er—like to get dressed and come downstairs? I can call a maid for you?"

"I…don't know. Are the children downstairs? If I don't recognize them…well…I don't want to hurt them," she said shyly, looking down at her hands.

Rhett was taken aback by how uncharacteristic a comment this was coming from Scarlett. Even though he was fully aware that she would no longer be the same person, it was still going to be difficult, expecting her to say one thing then getting another.

"They aren't home. I told Mammy to bring them to Melanie's," he said then sighed, realizing she would not know who he was talking about. "Melanie's a family friend, your sister-in-law to be exact. She has a son and our children often visit to go and play with him. Is this too much information, would you rather I slow down?" he asked, unsure of how to proceed.

"No, it's fine. I'm going to have to find out eventually aren't I?"

She was calmer now, resigned to the fact that she'd lost her memory and that she had a family who loved her and who would want her to return to normal, though she was still fearful of what the future would bring. It was going to be stressful, difficult, painful, but she knew she had to try, for them. What other choice did she have anyway? Even if her memory never returned, Rhett was still her husband and she still had children that she would have to mother, even if she did not know them, she would have to get to know them again.

"You said she was my sister in law. How can that be? Is she your sister?"

Rhett silently cursed himself for saying so much. This was not the topic he wished to bring up at the moment.

"No, but we do not need to get into this right now. I don't want to overload you with information."

She began to climb out of bed, feeling stupid for having been in it for so long, given that she wasn't suffering from any physical ailments.

"What else is there to do? Will we make idle chit chat? There are things I want—no need to know, and you are the only person who has the answers."

Rhett ran a hand through his hair, at a loss, and answered, "I suppose. But I won't be answering all of your questions simply because you ask. We need to take it slow. Now would you like me to get you a maid to help you dress?"

"Yes, alright. But not that woman um…Mammy… that was up here before."

"Don't be too hard on her. She loves you and this is a bit of a shock for everyone."

"I know that but I…I just can't deal with disappointing people already. I've barely had a chance to absorb this myself," she said plainly, devoid of emotion.

"I know, I'm sorry," Rhett said softly, looking away.

"Don't apologize to me. This isn't your fault. I should hardly think you should blame yourself for anything."

Uncomfortably he answered, "Yes, well I'll send someone up to you," and then he left the room, closing the door behind him.

She sunk back down to the bed and cried once more into her hands. This was going to so much harder than she'd expected even if she tried her best to hide her emotions and pretend that she would be able to face this challenge head on, but she was still resigned to forbidding herself from to breaking down into tears, even when the task at hand proved to be wearisome.

When she was dressed in one of the plainer pale blue dresses she owned, her hair up in a simple bun, she came down the large staircase to meet Rhett in the dining room, guided by her maid. She couldn't help but think this home was awfully large and extravagant, and she concluded that they must be rich. When she came to sit down at the table, Rhett watched her quizzically.

"Did you choose to wear that dress yourself?" he asked.

She blushed, thinking she'd already made a mistake and he looked apologetically back at her.

"Yes, well, I wanted something simple. I didn't know…do I not like this dress?"

"It's unimportant. You just usually prefer to deviate from what's simple. Really I'm sorry for having said anything. It doesn't matter what you choose to wear. "

"No, it's good that you told me. I'll try to um… well I'll choose something else next time. I need to ask you something actually."

He sighed. "Ask, and I'll see if I should answer you."

"Did you tell the children that I—um , well you know?"

"No. I thought I should wait until you'd seen a doctor. I didn't want to alarm them if we didn't have to."

'No. That's good. I don't think we should tell them at all. They'd be losing their mother and I don't want to do that to them. All you need to do is teach me how to be her, and maybe, you know, one day I'll remember and hopefully they won't even realize the difference."

She looked at him with hopeful eyes, pleading him to agree, and he truly did not know whether or not to give in to her. It would devastate the children if they found out their mother no longer knew who they were, even if she was a distant mother, she was still their mother and they loved her. Perhaps her idea was not so bad. Scarlett hadn't paid much attention to their children so he doubted they would notice a difference in her demeanor towards them, though he would have to be careful about the way he treated her around them because that they would surely notice.

Mammy and the rest of the staff would also have to be very careful in the way they treated her around the children, but he was sure he could persuade them to act as he wished, even Mammy, if he made it clear how important this was. Rhett only prayed that Scarlett's memory did come back because he knew that the charade would probably not be able to go on forever since children always seem to have a way finding out the truth. Wade would probably be the biggest challenge, given he was the eldest child, but he knew that somehow they would manage to keep him in the dark.

"I think that you may be right. It won't be easy, but it's worth a try," Rhett said finally, looking at her from across the table.

"Good. I'm glad you agree. Maybe you should tell me a bit about them so I'm better prepared. I know we have three children together, but you haven't told me what they are like or how old they are."

"Your question does not have a simple answer. For one, we only have one child together, the other two were from your previous marriages," he said hesitantly, not sure if he should continue.

She looked at him with confusion, slight appalled by how she was the one who had been married more than once. "Previous _marriages_? How many times have I been married?"

"Three times," he answered flatly. "It's a very long story Scarlett, and I don't think that we should go into everything in one day."

She shook her head. "Look, I can handle this, I have to. You need to tell me before the children come home anyhow. Just tell me please. You needn't worry, I'm fine with this."

There was a flint of his Scarlett in her determined words, and he felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe he could bring her back to him if he told her about her life, but he would still go slowly no matter how hard she rushed him. He was not willing to throw away all his chances just because he was so eager for her return or because she eager to pull of this façade of holding it together. He assumed she was clinging to the fact that she needed to keep up the pretenses of the woman she was for the children as some sort of life saving device, and though he was fully willing to let her deny the fact that she was scared because he could still see that terror stricken woman of the morning in her eyes, he would not allow her to make rash decisions or take on too many things at once.


	2. Chapter 2

After having spent the day with Scarlett, re-telling only the key details of her life and past, Rhett had gone to get the children at the Wilkes', and he'd also gone to explain Scarlett's condition to Melanie. He was certain that Mammy must have said something to her and that she would surely be eager to know what was wrong with Scarlett, though Rhett assumed most of Atlanta must have known by now, given that Dr. Meade had probably told his wife and that she had undoubtedly spread the gossip. He hated that his life never had any lasting peace or happiness. Their honeymoon and first year of marriage had been relatively pleasurable, but then her obstinate love for Ashley had thrown a wrench into that. Even long before their marriage, Rhett had known how much Scarlett had suffered and struggled, and now she was faced with this. Had he believed in a ruthless God, he would have thought that their lives were being played with for perverse pleasure because no one deserved to endure as much as Scarlett had over the years, let alone this.

While Rhett was gone, Scarlett mentally prepared herself for the upcoming supper and challenge she was faced with. If she could pull this off, she knew she would be able to face anything. Rhett had prepared her somewhat, though he had been very vague on a few details. He refused to answer all her questions and it frustrated her to no limits. She'd had the urge to be very abrupt with him, though he was really the only one who could help her and she did not want to push him away. As it was, he seemed to be truly suffering but trying to mask it, and she wondered why he did not openly show his feelings. It was not as if she'd expect him to be pleased by the situation, and maybe if he were more honest with her, she would not be so frightened to show how she really felt herself.

In addition to hiding his feelings while he'd been recounting some of the particulars of her life earlier, he had occasionally looked up at her with these sad and sympathetic eyes, and Scarlett had restrained this odd sudden urge to lash out at him. For some reason, she had found his pity insulting and she only wished he would stop looking at her that way, though she hadn't told him that. Maybe if she showed him how strong she could be he would stop feeling sorry for her because she knew that at some point she would not be able to contain this mounting annoyance.

When she heard the opening of the front door, Scarlett jumped up and made her way to her family, feeling queasy with anxiety. Mammy walked in first with Wade and Ella, and Rhett came in right after them with Bonnie in his arms. Scarlett smiled at her family, but a frown came to her face when she caught Mammy watching her oddly. Rhett cast Mammy a disapproving look, which she ignored, and then she simply walked away from the rest of the family to make her way to the kitchen. Scarlett hesitantly moved up closer to the children, and then bent down so that she was relatively face to face with them.

"Hello darlings. Are you going to give your mother a hug?" she asked, trying to sound as sweet as possible, not knowing that this would be one of the most uncharacteristic things she could have possibly done.

Rhett silently unbraided himself for not being more honest with her about her relationship with her children, but he couldn't bear telling her that her two eldest children faintly feared her and that she rarely paid them much attention other than to reprimand them. This woman, this new Scarlett, seemed to think she had a close relationship with her children, and he could not deal with being the one who shattered those thoughts. He also refused to be the one who stopped her from trying to mend her relationship with the children.

The children were somewhat stunned, watching their mother with wide eyes then looking up at Rhett, who was smiling uncomfortably, but they walked into her outstretched arms to give her a hug, confused but thrilled with the attention she was bestowing upon them.

"Did you have fun at your Aunt Melly's?" she asked kindly after letting go of them.

"Oh yes," Ella quickly answered with excitement. "She played with us all day. She even gave us sweets, but we weren't supposed to tell."

Wade threw her a look. "Ella! This is why no one tells you anything."

Scarlett giggled quietly. "It's alright. I promise to keep your secret."

Ella gave her brother a cheeky grin. "See."

He was about to respond but Rhett jumped in, "Why don't you two go and wash up for supper."

They both trudged up the stairs. Ella had a smile upon her face and Wade glared at her from the corner of his eye.

"They are adorable," Scarlett said quietly, watching them mount the stairs, and then she turned back to face Rhett and Bonnie.

Scarlett hesitantly walked over and placed a quick peck on Bonnie's cheek, but she did not attempt to take her daughter into her arms. She wasn't sure if Rhett expected a kiss as well, but even if he had, she was still not quite ready for that yet.

The dinner had passed by rather pleasantly, the children none the wiser, though Scarlett had been more of an observer than a participant in the conversations. She watched as they interacted, and she realized what a wonderful father Rhett was and how much the children adored him. She felt rather lucky to have found herself married to such a loving man and involved father, who even showed great affection for the children who weren't biologically his own.

~R&S~

Later that evening after he had put the children to bed, Rhett came to meet Scarlett where she was sitting in the parlor. Usually, right around this time, Rhett would make his way to Belle's establishment to get thoroughly drunk, which was exactly what he strongly desired this evening, feeling as if he needed his whiskey more now than ever, but he couldn't just abandon Scarlett when she had no one else to lean on. He thought he might make his way there later on, perhaps after she'd gone to bed.

"You're wonderful with them you know," Scarlett said softly when he sat across from her and lit a cigar.

Rhett, unused to compliments, looked at her quizzically.

"Thank you," he answered, uncertainly.

"You really love them don't you?"

"I adore them," he answered with a glimmer in his eyes.

"Well, it shows, especially with Bonnie. Your face lights up around her. It's very sweet," she said kindly, hoping they would be able to get to know each other somewhat.

He coughed shortly at her response, thinking that he'd never hear these words escape Scarlett's lips. He found it strange, watching her as she said those words.

Annoyed by his reaction and unresponsiveness, Scarlett said shortly, "Well, why are you looking at me like that? What did I say?"

He chuckled softly thinking that that was more like what he was expecting. "It's nothing. You just aren't usually very observant."

"Well, when there isn't much else to do, it makes it easier I should think."

"Don't tell me you're bored already," he asked skeptically.

"No, not bored, just, it's awful lonely when you don't know anybody and can't speak to anyone."

His facial expression changed quickly as he said, "I know. I'm sorry."

"Oh would you stop!" she exploded, standing up from her seat. "Stop saying you're sorry and stop looking at me like I'm going to break at any instant. I'm fine and I don't need your pity. I should be saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I woke up and couldn't remember you or our life together, alright? I'm sorry!" she cried out, beyond frustrated with him and with this horrible day.

Rhett was laughing and she glared at him. "Stop laughing. I don't believe this is very funny."

"I see you still have your short temper. That's fortunate," he answered, not managing to keep a smile off his face.

She sat back down and crossed her arms in annoyance. "You're laughing at me? I guess that's better than—wait, what do you mean? Am I usually um… like this?"

"Yes, it's always been rather easy to get your Irish up."

"I'm sure you were rather skilled at it, in particular?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed shortly. "Are you sure you can't remember?"

She smiled. "I thought as much. I assume our relationship isn't dull then?"

His grinned and answered, "No. No one could ever accuse us of being dull," but then the memory of the last words he'd shared with Scarlett before she'd gone to bed the previous night came to mind and his face hardened slightly.

"You're unlike any other woman I've ever know," he finished quietly, now reflecting back on the first time he'd seen her at Twelve Oaks.

"I hope I made you work for my affections," she said with a gleam in her eyes, hoping to distract him because he seemed to be pulling away again and she wanted to keep him talking.

He chuckled. "Work is quite the understatement. I've never waited for any woman as long as I've waited for you. I believe I knew you for seven years before we finally were married."

"Good," she replied with a satisfied smirk then asked, "So, how did you get me to marry you anyhow?"

"I was reduced to using bribery and my—er—charms," he said, mocking himself, and she giggled.

"I can see how that might have worked," she replied with coquettish smile. "How did we meet exactly? I'm sure that's an interesting story."

"It is, but we should save that for another evening. You've had enough information thrown at you for one day, and you seem tired," he said quickly, not wanting to discuss why or how they'd met in the first place. Even though Scarlett had lost her memory, throughout their conversation she'd seemed relatively like herself, and he now had hope that even if she never regained her memory, there was still a way he could get her back and maybe win her heart, especially if she could not recall her love for Ashley.

"I'm not tired," she answered stubbornly.

"Don't lie Scarlett. If there's one thing you should know now it's this, I have a way of effortlessly reading your thoughts and I know you better than you even know yourself."

She rolled her eyes at his words then stood up. "Aren't we conceited. Can you guess what I'm thinking right now?" she asked, her eyes challenging him.

He laughed loudly and she frowned. "I think anyone could assume what you are thinking right now. You have a face that's fairly easy to read, my dear."

"Well since you seem to know just how tired I am, would you please help me undress upstairs. I'd prefer not to call in a complete stranger."

He was taken aback by her words, but he quickly covered it with a mask of indifference and followed her up to her bedroom to help her undress, something he hadn't done in a very long time.

As Rhett meticulously unlaced her stays, he tried his best not to touch her bare skin, but he'd inadvertently grazed his hand across the back of her arm, causing her shiver involuntarily. He couldn't understand why he was so nervous. It wasn't as if it were the first time he'd seen Scarlett in her chemise and it certainly wasn't the first time he'd undressed her, so he couldn't comprehend why this sudden anxiety took over him. He thought that perhaps it was the fact that he couldn't trust himself if he finally found his hands on her or that he was so afraid of ruining what small chance he had, now that she had opened a small door for him to truly come back into her life.

Scarlett felt her heart accelerate when his hands touched her, burning through the thin fabric she still had on. She only hoped he would hurry and finish so that she could finally breathe. The feelings he was evoking were so foreign to her, and she didn't know what to think. It felt as if she'd known him all her life, as if she could trust him with everything she had, when really she couldn't even remember him and therefore couldn't really know him at all.

When he'd finished, he backed away from her quickly, having no confidence in his restraint. He even had to keep reminding himself that she hadn't really invited him back into her room and that she'd only simply asked him to help her undress. Making it even harder on him, Scarlett turned around to face him, her cheeks glowing faintly with embarrassment.

"Thank you," she said softly, her green eyes gentle.

"There's no need to thank me. You should get some rest," he said quietly, and then he made his way to the door.

"Wait Rhett, aren't you—um," she started shakily then stopped, not quite sure how to say it out loud.

His dark eyes were watching hers instantly, waiting eagerly. "Yes?"

"Well…aren't you going to stay with me?"

It was hard for him to cover up how happy those words were making him, but he somehow managed to keep his cool exterior in place.

"Would you like me to?"

She nodded, and answered, "If you don't mind."

The thought of Bonnie came to mind, but he quickly pushed it aside, knowing she would be fine in his room with the light burning. He knew there was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to get back into Scarlett's bed, especially when he'd been invited and wanted.

As they both lay in bed, almost at opposite ends as if they were afraid of getting to close to each other, Scarlett turned to Rhett and saw him staring up at the ceiling, clearly deep in thought. He felt her eyes on him and looked back at her.

"Rhett, I know this will sound strange, but um…would you mind holding me until I fall asleep?"

He chuckled lightly and pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her as her head lay upon his chest. He couldn't help but realize how much he'd missed her. How much he'd missed holding her in his arms at night and then waking up to her sweet face, never thinking he'd get these moments back after she'd banned him from her room.

"Scarlett, you never have to ask. I'll never mind," he murmured.

She smiled, and then closed her eyes. The sound of his heartbeat and his warm comforting arms were so soothing that sleep came effortlessly.


	3. Chapter 3

When Scarlett woke, she found herself draped over a man's half-naked body, her leg overlapping his, her hair strewed across his neck, and her head resting on top of his chest with her arm encircling his waist. Feeling embarrassed by the intimate position she was in, she lifted her head, ready to pull herself out of his arms, hoping Rhett was still asleep, but much to her dismay, her green eyes met his the moment she looked up. He was smiling, a rather impudent smile she thought to herself, and she sat up, her cheeks a glowing crimson.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" he asked, his dark eyes dancing.

Her blush deepened and she averted her eyes. "I, um, it was fine," she stammered.

He chuckled softly. "It must have been better than just fine, I imagine."

"Must you do this, really? Can't you see I'm embarrassed enough as it is?"

"I'm just teasing. You'll soon learn I'm no gentleman."

The grin he had on made her laugh lightly, easing some of her discomfort.

"Wonderful, but I suppose I wouldn't want it any other way?"

He coughed, holding back his laughter, and Scarlett gave him a puzzled look and asked, "What?"

"It— er—all depends on the day."

"Well, I can see how it could get annoying?" she answered with a smile.

"I'm sorry, are you implying that you find me _annoying_?" he asked with mock astonishment.

She giggled. "You would know better about that than I would, I should think."

Rhett chuckled softly, reaching for her hand, but when he saw how she seemed to withdraw and grow tense, he reminded himself to work slowly. Being and waking with Scarlett that morning had been so pleasant that he found himself exceptionally wrapped up in the moment, forgetting that she had no recollection of him and wanting to do so many things he knew he shouldn't.

"Scarlett, I need to ask you something, but feel free to say no if you don't feel up to it. Would you mind meeting Melanie this morning? She asked to see you and I'd said I would have to ask you first. What do you think?"

Rhett hoped she would be glad to be meeting Melanie because he was sure she could truly use a friend now and because she had even mentioned feeling lonely the other day, but the last thing he wanted to do was push her too fast.

"I would love that," she answered excitedly, thinking that this would get her out of the house and that she would now have another person to extract information from. "When do we go?"

"Well, I thought it would be better if she came to see you here, by herself," he answered, truly wanting to avoid her meeting Ashley at all costs. Of course the man was probably at the mills, but he still wasn't up for a chance encounter with him. And then the thought struck him that at some point Scarlett would have to be alone with him when she finally returned to work, although he could lie, sell the mills, and be done with worrying about the little gentleman, he did not want to start the rebuilding of their relationship with a lie.

"No Rhett, please can I go there. I need to get out of this house and do something."

He eyed her quizzically and replied, "You're already restless? It's only been a day you realize."

"I know, but, please?" she asked with an angelic smile that made him laugh and which also made it much too hard for him to refuse. It was almost as if she were the flirtatious belle he had known before the war had hardened her, and he realized it would be highly unlikely that he would refuse her anything she'd ask of him from now on.

"If you'd prefer," Rhett answered casually, masking his true feelings.

"Oh yes!" she said hopping out of bed and heading for her oversupplied closet of dresses.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get ready of course," Scarlett replied from the inside of her closet, searching through the extensive variety of dresses. "Which one should I choose? I don't want to make a mistake this time."

He dressed rather quickly and joined her. "Scarlett, you couldn't make a mistake. Choose what you like." Seeing how clearly unsatisfied she was by his response he continued, "The green one."

She giggled, seeing how there was a wide-range of green dresses that made up most of her collection then asked, "Which one?"

He rummaged through them and picked out a pale green water-silk dress, and said, "This one."

Scarlett smiled, and then he helped her get dressed since she seemed to prefer him to anyone else, which he found rather amusing but also endearing.

After breakfasting with the children, Rhett brought Scarlett to the Wilkes'. Melanie greeted them warmly, and Rhett was pleased to see that Ashley was nowhere in sight. Taking advantage of this opportunity, he decided to leave Scarlett alone with Melanie, which she seemed completely comfortable with, and he made his way to the mills to ensure his future plans were not destroyed by a particular gentleman he had no affinity for.

When Rhett reached the office Scarlett and Ashley so often shared, he opened the door without knocking and closed it behind him roughly, taking Ashley by surprise as he was going over figures.

"Captain Butler," Ashley said a little flustered as he stood from his seat to greet him.

"Mr. Wilkes," he replied coolly, without a trace of civility.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett isn't here. I believe she's visiting with Melanie this morning."

"Thank you, but I think I know where my wife is. Sit down," Rhett ordered, his voice hard.

"Captain Butler, you—"

"I said sit down." He interrupted, getting closer to Ashley whose grey eyes grew fearful as Rhett approached him so menacingly. "I'd hate to have to resort to physically showing you Mr. Wilkes," Rhett continued then laughed shortly when Ashley sat down at his command.

"That's better," Rhett said, now looking down at him from the height of superiority, and then he put up his hand to silence Ashley when it appeared as if he were about to say something.

"Please don't speak. I have a few things to discuss with you this lovely morning. I wonder if you know what about? Perhaps if I gave you a hint. It does involve the woman who has unfortunately and irrevocably tied us to one another, something I'm quite eager to alter. I assume you've heard about Scarlett's condition Mr. Wilkes?"

When Ashley did not answer Rhett said, "You may speak now." He could tell Ashley was beyond insulted, and this amused him greatly.

"I will not have you speaking to me in this fashion," Ashley answered in polite outrage.

"I'll choose to speak to you in any fashion which pleases me. I believe you threw away the right to have me speak to you in any other manner the moment you decided Scarlett and I should share separate bedrooms."

Ashley flushed to his roots and Rhett laughed impertinently.

"Yes, I've known all along about your involvement in that charming affair. I've also always known about yours and my wife's, how should I put it, _intriguing_ relationship. I'd have said illicit, but you wouldn't have let it reach that point now would you? No, you're too much of a gentleman," he finished derisively.

Ashley was about to stand up, but Rhett's hand came down on his shoulder forcefully, pushing him back down in his seat. "I suggest you stay sitting Mr. Wilkes," he said, his voice tinged with malice.

"I'm happy to find you don't deny it," Rhett continued. "So tell me then, you do know Scarlett has no recollection of you or of any feelings she believed she ever had for you?"

"I was told she has no memory whatsoever," he responded nervously, not accustomed to dealing with men like Rhett and unsure of how to handle the situation. He was not built to deal with altercations.

Rhett laughed, causing Ashley to cringe at the sound. "I don't believe you care whether or not Scarlett remembers me or anyone else as a matter of fact, as long as she remembers you, and that's where I have a problem. You see, I have no intention of allowing her to be informed of her childish fancy for you, and as of this moment, neither do you."

"Sir, I have nothing but a brotherly affection for Scarlett, and I would never harm her," Ashley replied with cool dignity.

"Let's not discuss how _innocent_ your affections are for my wife. If you cared anything about her happiness I doubt you would have given her the idea to remain chaste for you."

Ashley was about to respond, but Rhett silenced him. "No, don't speak. Frankly I don't care to hear what you have to say in your defense if you have one at all, but let me make myself clear, from now on you are merely a childhood friend and neighbor who treats her with only the slightest platonic kindness."

"Captain Butler, if you are asking me to lie to her I—"

"Asking you to lie? I doubt Scarlett will be wondering if you both ever shared romantic feelings for one another unless you were the one who planted the idea in her mind, and didn't you just tell me that you feel nothing but a, what was it, a brotherly affection for her? No, Mr. Wilkes, I'm not asking you to lie; it appears as if I'm asking you to tell the truth as previously stated by yourself," Rhett said with a dangerous light dancing in his eyes. "Think of this as a fortunate fresh start because you can live the remainder of your life with the slate of your conscience clean since you will no longer have the thought of Scarlett pining over you for the rest of her life because you were too well-bred to make your true feelings for her known."

Ashley was at a loss for words, and he wanted to die in place. "Are we finished Captain Butler?" he finally asked, unable to withstand anymore of Rhett's close scrutiny or callous words.

"Yes, we're about done," Rhett answered, backing away slightly and getting ready to head towards the door. "I also feel I should warn you Mr. Wilkes, that you will regret it if you ever act on the urge to tell Scarlett how she used to feel about you."

Ashley finally stood up, since Rhett was not as close as he was before, and said, "What will you do Captain Butler, strike me?"

"As gratifying as that would be, I prefer to give in to my baser instincts and resort to blackmail, although it would pain me to have to do that because I have great admiration for your wife. I know far too much about you, and it's fortunate for me that this town lives off gossip. As it is though, I know I have no need for threats because I seem to recall that I am responsible for saving your life, which leaves you owing me I believe."

Rhett turned around and was already half way out the door before Ashley said, "Captain Butler, you are no gentleman."

Laughing loudly and turning to face Ashley, Rhett said, "No, I'm not. And never am I more thankful for that than after having seen you. Good day Mr. Wilkes."

Meanwhile, Scarlett sat, listening as Melanie recounted some of the moments she and Scarlett had shared before and after the war, and of course, she told her all about her first husband Charles. Certainly, Melanie's retelling of the events painted Scarlett in a completely over glorified light, lovingly portraying Scarlett as the grieving widow and single mother of a boy she adored, as a selfless woman who brought Beau into the world out of the kindness of her heart, and as someone who risked her life to save them from the Yankees. Melanie even went as far as to compliment her on her intelligence in running her businesses, and she told her how wonderful she had been when she offered Ashley a job to work at the mills, knowing that they really did not want to move up North so that Ashley could make a living at a bank.

When hearing all of this, Scarlett was happy to know she'd led a good life, despite all the tragedies that seemed to have fallen upon her, such as losing her parents, although she was faintly skeptical, thinking that Melanie must have exaggerated somewhat because it was hard to believe that she was that unselfish.

Scarlett realized that she truly liked Melanie and found her to be extremely kind. She also found it quite pleasant to be with Melanie that morning because she did not treat her as if she were a completely different person. She spoke to her as if she'd known her all her life and as if she were the same woman she had always been, which Scarlett was grateful for.

"My dear, I want you to know that I love you just as much as I could any sister, and I'm going to be here for you just as you've always been for me," Melanie said gently, her soft brown eyes misting.

"That's so kind of you Melanie, I appreciate it, really," Scarlett said smiling sweetly.

"Please call me Melly, Scarlett. Everybody does. So tell me how you're feeling? I've been going on and I haven't even asked. Is it very strange to be sitting here with me?"

"No, I thought it might be, but it's not. It feels like I know you already, even though I can't remember you," she said then paused for a moment. "It's the same with Rhett. Do you know how Rhett and I met? He wouldn't tell me. Sometimes I think he believes I'm so fragile I'll break if he tells me something. It's so frustrating."

Melanie squeezed her hand affectionately and replied, "He just loves you Scarlett. He's loved you for a very long time I believe. Do you know he courted you the whole time you were in Atlanta before the siege? I always assumed he'd ask to marry you, but I'm sure he realized you were still broken over the death of my brother. I believe you first met him at Twelve Oaks at the barbeque," Melanie answered, thinking back to that magical day when she and Ashley announced their engagement, the last real celebration before the war started.

"Well, I just don't understand why he didn't tell me that," Scarlett said, wondering why he refused to tell her such a simple story.

"I'm not sure dear. Oh, perhaps I shouldn't have said anything if Captain Butler had reason to keep it secret."

"Don't worry Melly. I'm sure he was just being overprotective. Rhett—" Scarlett stopped when Rhett walked into the room, obviously let in by one of the servants.

"Rhett what, darling?" he asked with a grin.

"I lost my train of thought," Scarlett answered, standing up from the settee.

He chuckled. "Yes, my presence does tend to have that effect," he replied with a grin then greeted Melanie properly.

Rhett and Scarlett took their leave soon after he'd shown up. At home, Scarlett told Rhett how much she'd enjoyed Melanie's company and how she was certain it would be relatively easy to find herself as close to her as she seemed to have been before. Rhett found this utterly entertaining, but he was careful not to show her that. If there was one thing Scarlett could do to which would improve her life, it would be to form a strong relationship with Melanie.

"By the way, what were you doing that whole time?" Scarlett asked, now curious.

"I had some business to take care of, my pet."

"My pet?" she asked, not believing he actually called her that.

He laughed when he saw the look on her face. "It's an endearment, a—er—pet name," he said with a grin and she raised an eyebrow. "I have a few of them for you," he finished.

"Such as?"

"Would you like me to enumerate them?"

She laughed and said, "I'm just wondering. There must be something better in that list of yours."

He lifted her chin and her heart skipped a beat at his unexpected touch. "You'll learn soon enough."

"Do I have any for you," she asked softly, a little breathless.

"That's something _I'm_ going to have to wait for," Rhett said gently, then playfully pinched her chin before dropping his hand, and she was slightly disappointed with the sudden anticlimax.

**Thanks again to everybody who read and reviewed! This was without a doubt one of my favorite chapters that I've written for either of my stories, so I hope you liked it :)**


	4. Chapter 4

It hadn't taken long before all of Atlanta heard of Scarlett's condition and began gossiping. There were even group sessions where they devoted their time to discussing Scarlett and how to reshape her into their societal mold of how a proper woman should behave, but these were on occasions where Melanie was not present. Although the Old Guard never approved of Scarlett, especially since the death of Frank Kennedy and her betrothal to Rhett Butler, they now did esteem Captain Butler for his changed ways and the way in which he treated his daughter, and they now also believed that it would be all that much easier to have to associate with Scarlett when they at least deemed her respectable. This was their chance to fill her head with the ways of society, introduce her to groups all confederate women should belong to, mend what she had broken long ago and build her into a woman Ellen O'Hara would have been proud of.

Even though most of the women were in accord with the plan, India Wilkes felt the need to voice her disapproval, which no one paid much heed to because they all secretly believed India had been jealous of Scarlett long before when she had taken her beau away from her. It had been relatively easy for them to implement their plan because Scarlett was eager to create social connections and occupy herself with something, even if it meant joining their groups, and Melly was also more than pleased to have Scarlett around more often. Rhett encouraged her to make friends because it strengthened his endeavor to get back into the good graces of the Confederacy, though he secretly believed she would grow restless in time. He only hoped that the women societies to which she now belonged would entertain her long enough so that she would realize she no longer wanted to keep the mills and would eventually decide to sell them, but he doubted it.

~R&S~

One morning, Rhett woke to find his wife was not in their bed. He found this particularly odd because he was accustomed to waking before Scarlett, especially since she enjoyed sleeping in. After dressing, he went in search of her, and he was slightly taken aback by what he saw. Scarlett sat in the wooden rocking chair with Bonnie resting in her lap as she delicately brushed through her ebony curls. Ella sat on the floor, playing with her dolls and jabbering incoherently as Wade rolled his eyes, thinking that his younger sister was a ninny and wishing full-heartedly that he had a brother instead. Wade found it quite strange that his mother was spending her morning with them, most of all in the nursery, because she rarely spent much time with them. He also found it odd that she'd been so patient lately, and though he hoped she would remain this way, he was terrified to do something wrong which would cause her to go back to her old ways.

"Mother," he finally said tentatively.

She looked up from Bonnie's hair to meet his eyes and answered, "Yes Wade."

"Do you think I could go over to Beau's today? I don't think I could spend another whole day with Ella."

At the mention of her name, Ella looked away from her dolls to listen to the conversation.

"I don't see why not. I'm going over to Melly's this afternoon, you could join me."

"Oh, yes, thank you mother," he said, walking over to her and hesitantly giving her a peck on the cheek. Scarlett smiled and resumed her hair brushing, thinking he was slightly overly grateful when she'd promised him such an insignificant favor.

"Oh mother, can I go to Aunt Melly's too," cried out Ella when she'd understood what they were talking about.

Wade groaned, thinking he'd never escape her, and Scarlett couldn't help but smile.

"But darling, who is going to keep Bonnie company if you go to Aunt Melly's? She'll be awful lonely without you," Scarlett said persuasively, hoping to sway her.

Bonnie began wriggling and called out, "Daddy" when she finally saw her father leaning against the doorframe, listening to their conversation.

Scarlett set her to the floor and Bonnie waddled over to Rhett, and he gathered her up in his arms and kissed her. He then also went over to Ella and gave her a quick peck, and he squeezed Wade's shoulder affectionately before placing a gentle kiss on Scarlett's cheek. It was the first time he'd kissed his wife since her memory loss, even though it couldn't be considered much of a kiss, and he was pleased to see she'd welcomed it.

Scarlett was a little surprised by the gesture, and she wondered if he'd done it only for the children's benefit. It wasn't that she'd been wishing he'd kiss her, though if she were being honest with herself the thought had crossed her mind on several occasions, but she wondered what it was that kept him from making any advances. They'd shared a bed now for the past two weeks and he still seemed distant and unwilling to share any of his emotions. Pulling out information about their life together was strenuous, and his vague replies always seemed to be laced with riddles. He was an enigma, and try as she might to solve him, he only seemed more resolved to keeping up his shield. The only time where she'd found hints of his true character was with the children, but even so, it told her very little about their relationship.

"Good morning Scarlett," Rhett said, now putting Bonnie to the floor. "You woke rather early today."

Scarlett stood up from the chair and answered, "I know. I couldn't sleep."

"Is there a particular reason?"

"No," she said quickly, making her way to the door.

He could tell she was lying though he didn't know why. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked casually as she walked away, though on the inside he was dying of curiosity.

"Only this afternoon. I'm going to Melly's with Wade."

"You've been spending an awful lot of time there. Don't you think you'd like to spend the day with us?"

"I would, but I can't. I have a meeting with Ashley Wilkes this afternoon."

His face hardened and his eyes grew darker as he replied, "And why would you need to have a meeting with Mr. Wilkes?"

"Because I share a business with him and I haven't even met him yet. Weren't you the one that told me about the sawmill? I'm going to have to learn what it is that I do before I head back to work. I can't leave the man doing it all by himself," Scarlett said simply.

"He'll survive. I did not inform you of your businesses so that you would head straight back to work instantly. I don't believe you are ready yet. Ashley can manage just fine."

"I think I should know when I'm ready," she replied, irritated by the fact that this man thought he could control her. The truth was that she was not quite ready to go back to work and that this meeting was only supposed to get her used to the idea in the future, but Rhett's words only spurred her into saying the opposite.

"Indeed? You don't even know how a sawmill operates I imagine," he said, and as the words left his mouth, he immediately regretted them.

"You're insulting me?!" she cried out, stunned by his response.

Wade looked down at the floor, uneasy and thinking this was more like the way in which his parents interacted, and he wished he were anywhere but in this room. Bonnie seemed oblivious to the altercation, and Ella just sat and watched them in awe.

"Scarlett, I didn't mean to insult you. I—" Rhett started, but was cut off.

"Really? I find that hard to believe," she said walking away to their bedroom. Rhett followed closely behind, leaving Bonnie in Wade's care for the time being.

She went to close the door behind her, but he swiftly put out his hand and held it open, shutting it after he'd entered the room as well.

"Why did you follow me? I want to be alone," she snapped.

"And I want to finish this. I did not mean to—"

"Yes you did. You're a skunk Rhett Butler, and you meant every word. You knew—"

"What did you call me?" he interrupted, his dark eyes boring into hers while his hands gripped her upper arms, causing her to falter in her tirade.

"What?"

"Before. What charming insult did you choose to throw at me?"

His eyes were so close that she felt like she was swimming in them as they alertly searched her face. He was in a perfect position to kiss her, if only he would bring his head down a tad more, she could effortlessly touch his lips with her own, but just the thought brought on a faint flush to her cheeks.

"A skunk," she replied uncertainly, unsure if that was what he wanted to hear.

It was rather difficult for her to concentrate when he was this close to her. Though they'd shared a bed for quite a few nights now, there had never been this zapping electricity emitted by his touch nor this unsettling anticipation in the pit of her stomach.

Rhett chuckled lightly, brought his hand up to her cheek and softly said, "That's what I thought you said. I never believed I would be pleased to hear you call me that once more."

As he grazed his thumb across the apple of her cheek, his left arm snaked around her waist, and she was automatically pulled in closer, her body now pressed up against his. She could feel the acceleration of her heartbeat, her green eyes glowing while he stared down at her, and she sucked in a breath when he bent down as if he was going to kiss her. Then, as though he thought better of it, he retreated, but when she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, encouragingly drawing him in and refusing to let this opportunity slip away, his mouth came down on hers fervently. He kissed her with smooth longing lips, kissed her like he would never get the chance again; luring Scarlett into a dizzying world where her breath caught in her throat and her blood rushed to her head. Thoughts of Rhett kissing her never went quite like this. There was never this overwhelming tide of warmth that consumed her, and the emotions he was evoking greatly surpassed anything she could have imagined.

When his lips parted from hers, her head was still spinning and she could only clutch onto his shoulders for support. Both were left standing and gazing at one another, neither knowing what to say. Rhett hadn't intended on kissing her just yet, not in that fashion anyhow, and he knew that if he hadn't withdrew, there was no telling where he would have taken their kisses. What had surprised him was the way she returned his embrace and that she had been the one who pulled him in. Even though he'd always had a way with Scarlett's body, she'd only responded to him that way once before, when he'd proposed. However, she'd been relatively tipsy that evening.

"Why did you…" she mumbled then trailed off, the rosiness of her cheeks deepening.

"Why did I what?" he asked, his dark eyes searching hers.

She averted her eyes, feeling foolish for having said anything. "I—nothing," she answered, lowering her hands from his shoulders, but he caught her hands before she could back away.

"No, ask it. I will try to answer anything you ask me directly and honestly. You want to know why I broke our kiss, don't you?"

Scarlett nodded in reply, now wishing they weren't so close together when discussing such an intimate topic.

"It's because I cannot know the boundaries of my self-restraint around you, my dear, and I do not want to push you too far."

"Would you stop worrying about me, I'm fine" she answered, frustrated by his constant need to watch over her.

She tried to wrench her hands out of his grasp, but he held on with a firm grip and chuckled softly.

"Why shouldn't I worry? I care about you," Rhett said smoothly, hiding just how deeply he felt.

"Oh, well, I still don't want you to pity me."

"I assure you, I feel no pity. You have your family, you have friends, and you're happy for the most part, aren't you? Why should I pity you?"

"You shouldn't, it's just that sometimes it's like you do. Sometimes you look at me like, well I don't know how to explain it," she finished quickly.

"When I look at you, it is certainly not with pity."

"Then why do you look at me like that?" she asked, wondering why his eyes seemed to follow her, assuming it had been pity or even concern.

This was not a safe topic for Rhett, and even if he had encouraged her to ask him anything, he was not prepared to say he was watching her with pining eager eyes which waited to see her love radiated back to him.

"I look at you in the way any husband would his wife."

"Oh," Scarlett said, not expecting this answer that she wasn't completely satisfied with, but she decided to drop it. She was not in the mood to try and coax anymore answers out of him.

He could have said he loved her because she already thought they were a happily married couple, but he was not ready to confess his true feelings less her memory should return and he would be left the fool. If she ever said the words aloud and truly meant them, then that was an altogether different matter, but until then, he was going to let her believe he loved her without actually having said the words. This was the only way in which he knew how to operate, and it was relatively more prudent and preventative to heartache than any other method.

**A special thanks to Cheryl for her kind review that sparked some ideas for this chapter. Hope you liked the 'spice' :) Also, I know I'm late updating, sorry RL sucks, and for those of you who read my other story, it is going to be delayed just a bit as well. **


	5. Chapter 5

**So I realized it has been three weeks since I updated this. Sorry about that. I'll try to be faster next time ;)**

Rhett watched the emotions dance across Scarlett's face from confusion to surprise then to skepticism, and he only hoped she'd ask no further questions. When she remained silent, staring at him oddly, he decided to make a run for it while he had the chance, and he hurried for the door, though of course making it appear as if he had all the time in the world. Before he could make his escape, Scarlett called out his name, and he cursed himself for not being swifter, anticipating what her next question would be.

"Rhett, why don't you want me going to the mills? That's what we were arguing about before, wasn't it?"

This was not the question he was expecting, which surprised him because he believed he knew her so well. He was relieved, but in reality this question could lead to similar hazardous areas.

"As I said before, I don't want you rushing into anything you are not ready for. Now don't give me that look, we both know you aren't prepared to return to work as stubborn as you are to admit it me," he answered with a smirk when he saw her frown shift into a reluctant smile.

"Annoying. I was right in my earlier assumptions. Must you read my mind? Couldn't you pretend not to know what I'm thinking?"

"Where would the fun in that be?" Rhett asked with a dazzling smile as he reached for he hands once again and held them in his warm grip.

Scarlett looked down at their hands when she answered, "I don't suppose you could find something else to amuse yourself with?"

"I could, but I don't believe I could find anything as charming as you are. Are you certain you won't reconsider spending the day with us?" he asked smoothly, taking one hand and lifting her chin so she'd meet his gaze. "You've clearly admitted you aren't prepared to go back to your businesses."

"I know, but I promised Melly I would meet Ashley, regardless. She'll be waiting for me, and Wade was eager to go as well."

Something flickered in his eyes, and Scarlett wondered what it was. She couldn't comprehend as to why he would be so set against her going over to Melanie's when he had always encouraged her previously, although this time she had mentioned meeting Ashley and he had tensed up. Then, the thought struck her, that maybe he wasn't very fond of Melly's husband, but why would she stay in business with him if they disliked each other, she wondered.

"Do you not like Ashley?" she finally asked.

His face was composed but his voice was cool as he replied, "Why do you say that?"

"Because, well, I just don't understand you. What's wrong all of a sudden with me going over there? It has to be him because I know you like Melanie."

"I feel nothing for the man. He's simply an unfortunate acquaintance," Rhett answered tersely, then immediately wished he hadn't added the unfortunate part, but it had slipped in effortlessly.

"There, I knew you didn't like him. Can you tell me why? What is it?" she asked like a curious child, excitingly waiting for juicy gossip.

Her expression made Rhett laugh, dissipating his worries. He knew there was nothing to fear because there wasn't anything he believed she could find appealing about Ashley now, and even if there was the slight possibility she'd feel something for him, he'd already sufficiently frightened Mr. Wilkes to ensure nothing between them was taken beyond cool civility.

"There's nothing in particular my dear, he's just a rather boring fellow. I pity you _that_ encounter I'm afraid."

She pulled her hands away and crossed her arms in frustration. "Your answer is just as boring. Are you really telling me the truth? Is there nothing else you want to tell me?"

"Why? Do you believe there is anything else to this?" he asked, deceptively smooth, because deep down he was anxious, thinking that she may have recalled something and hadn't bothered to tell him.

"I don't know, you won't tell me! You really are infuriating sometimes."

He chuckled, his eyes laughing at her. "While we're on the subject of honesty, care to tell me what caused your lack of sleep?"

She blushed and averted her eyes. He'd turned the tables on her and skillfully managed to avoid her question.

"Nothing," she responded softly.

"No, it was not _nothing._ Look at me Scarlett."

She looked up reluctantly, meeting his gaze and wishing he would have had the decency to drop the subject when he could clearly see she wanted to avoid it.

"Well?" he asked, waiting for her to disclose the truth.

"Well what? It's not important and I don't want to discuss it right now."

"No, right now seems like the opportune time. What is it? Have you remembered something," he asked, trying to draw her out quickly.

"Not exactly," she answered cryptically.

"Not exactly? Aren't we awfully chatty this morning. Well, what do you mean by that?"

"I had a nightmare, that's all. It's quite fuzzy, and I don't want to talk about it right now," she said, losing her patience.

"A nightmare?" he asked, surprised, because whenever she'd had nightmares in the past when they'd shared a bed, he'd woken to her frightened cries and streaming tears.

"Yes. Please drop this Rhett. I don't want to discuss or think about it now."

Reluctantly, he gave into her wishes and asked no further questions, but inside he was dying of curiosity, wondering what her nightmare could have been about and if it had been the same reoccurring dream or something entirely different.

~R&S~

When Scarlett made her way to the Wilkes' with Wade, she was warmly greeted by Melanie, who gave her a friendly hug while Ashley stood silently watching from afar until Melly introduced Scarlett properly. She was confused by her husband's quiet and apathetic demeanor, and she prodded him to greet her with his usual kiss, wishing he would treat Scarlett as he had normally. A subtle blush crept onto his face at Melanie's suggestion, but he complied with her wishes, hesitantly placing a frigid peck on Scarlett's cheek.

Scarlett could feel the tension, believing it was due to her condition and hating that he would not take his wife's example and behave as if she were the same woman he'd always known. If he was going to spend the length of her visit in this anxious manner, behaving as if she might bite his head off at any instant, she knew the afternoon would be rather tedious indeed, and then she stifled a giggle, remembering Rhett's words and now thinking he had good reason to pity her this meeting.

At first, Melanie carried the conversation, speaking primarily with Scarlett as Ashley sat still in silence, reflective and detached. On a few occasions, Melanie had to wake him from his reverie and incorporate him into the conversation because he made no effort. Given that this meeting was about having him and Scarlett get to know each other once again, Ashley was doing a mighty poor job, and Scarlett was less than pleased with his character. When he made no attempts at disclosing any useful information, Scarlett decided to candidly ask him what she longed to know.

"So, Ashley, we were neighbors, correct? Were we very close?" Scarlett asked, hoping to receive at least some sort of animated response instead of a nod of his head or the occasional vocal affirmative spurred on by Melanie's insistence.

Ashley visibly blanched at the question and averted his eyes, which obtained curious stares from both women.

"Yes Scarlett, we were friends," he finally answered nervously.

"Ashley darling, are you ill?" Melanie asked, wondering what in the world could have possibly come over him.

"I'm fine Melly," he replied meekly with the most pathetic attempt at a smile.

Scarlett rolled her eyes and looked away from the couple for an instant, thinking she would have much rather preferred to spend the day with her husband than to watch this mouse of a man who seemed to wish to be anywhere than sitting with them, and she couldn't help but share that opinion. Not only was his discomfort painfully obvious but even his attempts at hiding it and lying were pitiable.

Planning her escape, Scarlett stood up from the settee and said, "Perhaps I should go."

"No darling, please don't go," Melanie said in an urgent but sweet voice, taking Scarlett's hands and pulling her back to sit down, hoping Ashley's behavior hadn't offended her. "Ashley must want to be alone with you when discussing business. I understand completely."

Seeing as Ashley's face fell and his grey eyes widened with fear at Melanie's suggestion, Scarlett wanted to protest, but she was quickly silenced.

"No, I won't hear any of it dear. You both must have things to go over, and I'd only be in your way. Just promise to find me when you've finished. I'll be with the children."

When Melly had left the room, Scarlett finally spoke.

"You should just ask me to leave. It will make this easier on both of us. I don't know why you hate me, but—"

"Scarlett, I could never hate you. You don't understand—"

"Then why can't you even look at me? I know that it must be difficult knowing that I don't recognize you, but you could at least make an effort, Melly has. I don't see how we will get on at all if this is the way I'll be treated every time I see you."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking away from her once more while retrieving his tea cup from the table, spilling some of the liquid over the rim due to the excessive shaking of his hands.

Watching how he shook and hearing the unbearable clinking sound of the chattering cup and saucer, Scarlett made a move to take it out of his hands so that she might have a frank discussion with him and alleviate whatever was causing this anxiety. Before Scarlett could reach his hands, Rhett suddenly entered the parlor, and Ashley flew away from Scarlett so hastily that the brown burning liquid splattered all over his trousers, causing him to jump up and yelp in pain, dropping the ceramic tea dishes to the floor. Scarlett, who had her back to the parlor's entrance, turned to see what had startled the man to such an extent, and then she saw her husband, who was leaning against the door frame casually with a smirk on his face.

"Ashley, are you all right?" Scarlett asked, turning back to face him and seeing how he wiped the front of his pants with his handkerchief, his face red from both embarrassment and pain.

He nodded his head, but would not meet her gaze, and then Melly rushed in at the sound of the clattered ceramic. She took in the scene in one glance, her eyes expanding at the sight of Ashley's trousers.

"Ashley, what's happened?" Melanie asked, blushing because she had not averted her eyes quickly enough from the darkened area on his light brown trousers.

"I spilt some tea," he replied then bent to help Scarlett, who had begun picking up the shattered china, desperately wanting to hide his face.

"Darling, why don't you go and freshen up. I'll help clean."

Relieved at opportunity to leave, Ashley swiftly made his way out of the room, without even the hint of a glance in Rhett's direction, but if he had taken the time to look at his face, he would have seen a satisfied smirk and devilishly dancing black eyes. Melanie left the room to retrieve the dustpan and broom, finally greeting Rhett before exiting. Scarlett looked back to Rhett, the blandness returning to his face under her scrutiny.

"What are you doing here Rhett?"

"I've come to bring you home, my pet. Aren't you relieved?"

Before she could answer, Melanie stepped back into the room to help clean up the mess.

"I don't know what's gotten into Ashley today Scarlett. He seemed so nervous to meet you," Melanie said as she swept up what was left of the broken china.

"We were both nervous Melly, it's fine. I hope he hasn't burnt himself."

"No, I don't believe so. It's so odd, Ashley's never clumsy. Maybe he really isn't feeling well."

"Oh, that's my fault, I believe I startled him. Perhaps we should go, and I'll come back another day when he's um… feeling better."

"Yes, that might be best, dear."

The Butlers then made their way home, without Wade, who had been invited to stay and spend the rest of the day with Beau much to his delight. Scarlett couldn't have been more relieved at having escaped that house, but most importantly, having escaped seeing Ashley on her way out after that unfortunate event. It was almost worse witnessing someone else's discomfort than having lived it for herself, and she could only hope that their encounters would be few and far between.

Rhett was strangely quiet, and Scarlett looked up at him to try and make out what he was thinking, of course to no avail because he hid his emotions most skillfully.

"Rhett, you're so quiet, what's the matter?" she asked finally.

"That's because I'm waiting, my dear" he replied with a hint of smugness that had escaped her.

"Waiting for what?"

When he laughed in response, she frowned.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me how right I was and how pleased you were that I arrived, your knight in shining armor, to rescue you from the torture of spending another minute with the man. Well?"

"Well what? I'm not going to say that because it isn't true," she replied stubbornly, ready for a fight.

"Don't lie. I could see it in your face. You were itching to get out of that house, and I assume the highlight of your visit was that rather embarrassing escapade revolving around tea," Rhett said with a grin.

"Maybe you're right, but don't think for a minute I don't know you had something to do with that. Why, just the sight of you had him jump back. Why is that Rhett?"

Deflecting the question he said, "Ah, so you did notice, I was wondering. Why did you choose to lie to Miss Melly? Were you trying to protect me?"

"I… don't know what you mean."

"I think you do."

"That's right, I forgot you could read my mind," she quipped.

"Precisely, my dear. You're a quick study I have to say."

"Is that sarcasm?" she asked, growing offended by his remark.

"No, it's a genuine compliment."

"I'm not sure I believe that," she answered, trying to hide her smile as she walked ahead of him to reach the house first, but he clasped her hand in his, pulling her back before she could flee.

Placing an arm around her waist, he turned her around so that Scarlett was facing him, and he smiled as she inhaled deeply when brought his hand up to her cheek, his thumb brushing the petal-soft skin affectionately.

"You were trying to protect me, weren't you?" he asked in a velvety voice that had butterflies flutter in the pit of her stomach.

"No, that's not—no."

"You're lying. Why can't you simply say, yes Rhett, I was trying to protect you. Is that so very difficult?"

"Why can't you tell me why you think I needed to protect you? You're keeping things from me and I don't understand why. Don't you believe me when I say I can handle this?"

"Did you ever consider the possibility that I don't want you to have to _handle_ things? That perhaps I want to protect you, take care of you because I…care for you not because I have no faith in your abilities. I admire your resilience, my dear, but even the strongest people can reach their limits."

"You want to protect me?"

"Yes," he replied nonchalantly, uneasy from having spoken so openly about his feelings, but she had somehow managed to have him disclose more than he had intended once again.

With twinkling eyes and a sincere smile that had her dimples showing, Scarlett said, "Well, that's nice to hear."

Rhett chuckled softly. "I imagine it would be nice to hear. Shame I've never had a charming creature confess the same."

Struggling to get out of his grasp and laughing lightly she replied, "Yes, that is a shame."

"You don't think I'm going to let go that easily, do you?" he asked, holding her tightly.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't. What if I told you something better?"

"Such as," he asked, his black eyes now alertly observing her face.

"Well, I have to admit I was rather relieved to see you when you came to get me at Melly's. Ashley was tiresome, and I have to say, I could have done without that kiss that felt like my cheek was being touched by frozen lips."

"He kissed you?" he asked, his voice laced with a subtle firmness.

"Yes, but only at Melanie's insistence," she answered and his face softened. "So, I suppose you could say you rescued me, though I wouldn't go as far as saying that you were a knight."

"Well, that's nice to hear, but that's not exactly what I wanted," he said with a grin.

"And what is it that you wanted to hear?"

"I believe you know."

"No, I don't claim to possess your special talent."

"Infuriating woman," he muttered then brushed his warm lips across her cheek unexpectedly before leading her into their home.

Once inside, Scarlett waited near the entrance as Rhett walked half way up the stairs before calling out to him. He turned to face her, surprised to find that she was not following closely behind.

"Yes Rhett, I was trying to protect you," she finally uttered faintly with a smile then started walking towards the library

**So, the little tea incident was sparked by a review for my other story from CeeJay, who said that she would have liked to see "a little wetness in front of his trousers." Well, seeing as I was not going to add that in lol I came up with this- though probably not what she had in mind ;) but thanks for the idea. (I know I'm going to be punished one day for torturing this poor fictional character, but until then, I'm going to amuse myself.) Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter since I kept you waiting so long for it. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for taking so long with this. I blame stupid writer's block, and then I got sick out of nowhere, which put me in no mood to write. Anyway, you can thank Scarlett Jaimie because her gentle prodding seems to have worked in getting me to write this chapter ;) I would have gotten it out on the weekend, but I wasn't happy with it. I still don't know if I'm happy with it...**

As time had passed and Scarlett's memory still had not returned, she took the opportunity to learn more about her children, Rhett, and herself. As much as she realized that she had grown to love her children and enjoy their company, there was still this feeling of restlessness and inkling that she should be doing more with her life than raising children. There was also something to be said about one's sanity when one spends a whole day with children without another adult's presence and the possibility of mature conversation. Even though Scarlett immersed herself in society's sewing groups and various associations to pass the time and fill the need for adult companionship when Rhett was not around, there was still this underlining sense of boredom that would not fade away no matter how busy she kept herself.

As much as she enjoyed Melanie's friendship, she could not stand the presence of the Old Guard matrons and the existence of India Wilkes in particular, but she still remained true to her hypocritical ways when in their company. At times she would come home completely drained of all energy from having spent a whole afternoon pretending to care for the women's chatter and gossip, but Rhett seemed to have a way of making it up to her and lifting her spirits. In fact, Rhett's company and friendship grew dearer to her than even Melanie's.

As the weeks went by, Scarlett grew closer to Rhett than she had imagined possible in so short a period of time. She even managed to learn new things about his character, despite his frustrating lack of disclosure, discovering that he could be the most tender man one minute and an infuriating devil the next, and that he was a loving father who adored his children and cherished the time that they spent together as a family, something she was certain that spurred the envy of many married ladies she associated with, which gave Scarlett a twisted sense of pleasure. She also found out that he enjoyed discussing his many adventures and sharing his wild stories, but when it came to his childhood or family, he was reserved and said very little. Why this should be, she didn't know, but she could only gather that he did not have a close relationship with them. He also had an annoying habit of deflecting questions by asking ones in return or brushing them off completely in an uncaring manner, which he often did when Scarlett asked him for details about their past together, and he also had this way of turning serious topics into jokes that Scarlett appreciated at certain times but also loathed at other times.

In all, Rhett was a great comfort to her and she began to realize that she felt more than friendship for him, though she couldn't say for sure if it was love. Scarlett knew that she should be in love, given that they were married and shared a family, but she couldn't pin point exactly how love was supposed to feel. All she knew was that she looked forward to their time together, that her face would light up when he entered a room and that a blush would sneak onto her cheeks when he flattered her or caressed her with his warm hands unexpectedly. There was also the way in which he kissed that made her feel all shaky, lightheaded, and longing for more, all of which she began to accept as indications of love. This came as a relief because as long as she loved her husband and her children, a future where she had not regained her memory no longer seemed as bleak, and as much as she hoped to discover more about her past, Scarlett was relatively happy with the present.

~R&S~

One afternoon in early April, Scarlett came back from one of her sewing groups and accidentally bumped into Rhett as she hastily made her way into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry Rhett, I didn't see you," she said quickly.

"You didn't see me?" he asked, appearing as if this amused him greatly.

"Well, I wasn't paying attention."

"Bad day I see."

"I hate that India Wilkes. I don't know how anybody can stand her at all. Why, she is just a bitter old maid, and she has this way of staring at me like I'm the devil himself. I have a good mind of telling her just what I think about that nasty— oh why are you laughing?" she asked, exasperated.

"I'm not laughing at you, my dear. You and India have never been the— er—closest of friends," he said with a grin.

"Shocking. Can you tell me why, or do you have another reason for not telling me that as well," she added acidly, annoyed with her whole day.

"No reason in particular," he answered, choosing to ignore her tone. "I believe you stole her beau away before the war, and she hasn't quite forgiven you.

"Is it my fault that no one else could possibly ever want her with that sour face she has on all the time? She can't blame me for being so much more attractive and charming," Scarlett said as she climbed onto her bed, fully clothed, and propped her head against the many pillows.

"Don't forget modest," Rhett added with a smirk, and she reached behind her to grab and throw a pillow in his direction, missing him altogether with her poor aim.

Rhett's laughter rang through the room as he made his way up closer to the bed, taking one of Scarlett's feet in his hand, removing and tossing the slipper to the floor before moving on to the next foot. Scarlett watched him in odd fascination, wondering what he was thinking.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked when he began pulling down the silk stockings, brushing the bare flesh of her legs with his warm hands, which caused her heart to accelerate slightly.

"Making you more comfortable, my pet," he responded without bothering to meet her gaze.

"Why?"

"Because I'm the epitome of kindness and a most devoted husband," he said looking up with dancing dark eyes and gleaming white teeth.

"And don't forget how modest you are darling," she quipped then giggled at his mock frown.

"Are you stealing my material?"

She nodded. "Well, you make it rather easy."

"Indeed?" he said as he began rubbing her feet. "And when did you decide to start calling me darling?" he asked casually, but her use of the endearment had caused his heart to skip a beat. Scarlett was always fond of the use of insults rather than endearments, especially when it came to him, and it was strangely comforting to hear her refer to him in this manner.

"I…don't know. Why?"

"I was only wondering. Do you think this may become a reoccurring habit?" he asked, keeping his eyes focused on what he was doing as to not appear eager to hear her reply.

"Would you like me to?"

"Would that make you happy?" he asked as a smile reached his face, and she slammed her hand down on the bed in a huff.

"Always another question and never a straightforward answer from you! You're impossible!"

He dropped her feet back onto the bed and let out a loud laugh, and her brows rushed together in a frown.

"Get out why don't you," Scarlett said pointing towards the door. "I don't see how any of this is funny. Why must you always turn everything into a joke?"

Rhett took a seat next to her on the bed and seized her limp hand in his grasp.

"Don't kick me out honey. You are never as charming as when you are in a temper. Now surely you're not upset with my laughter? You must have grown used to it by now. Care to tell me why you are so irritable?" he questioned with an earnest smile, though the light in his eyes gave away his amusement.

"I am not irritable," she denied, trying to pull her hand away when he began running his lips over the smooth skin and pressing kisses into the palm.

"No of course not. I can't imagine where I could have possible gotten the idea. You are the perfection of sweetness this afternoon."

"Do be serious."

"Am I not being serious?" he asked mockingly before continuing with his caresses.

Scarlett closed her eyes. "I am ignoring you until you decide to behave or to leave me in peace."

There was a low chuckle from Rhett, but he said nothing and only ran his lips up to her wrist, where she was certain that he could feel her pulse beating steadily. When he remained quiet, she ventured a peep at him, which he pretended not to notice, and then she closed her eyes once more. Suddenly, she felt the weight shift on the bed, and she opened her eyes to find that Rhett was leaning over her, his dark eyes boring into hers. He brought his lips down to her forehead, cheeks, and then finally her red supple lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled his body closer to hers, enjoying the warm dizziness of his insistent kisses.

His mouth finally travelled down the side of her neck and he murmured, "Am I behaving myself now?"

She took a moment to think about it and then answered, "Yes," which instigated his light chuckling.

"Perhaps I should stop then. I'd hate to give into your demands so easily."

"No, don't," she mumbled, and then he was instantly kissing her once again.

They were exploring each other with their hands and lips, though their many layers of clothing were becoming a hindrance to any real kind of marital intimacy. Rhett's hands wandered through her hair, pulling out the pins and disheveling the chiffon as Scarlett's hands ran over his clothed chest and lingered on his shoulders or around his neck when she grew faint from his caresses. Even though they had shared a bed for the past month and a half, Rhett had never gone past holding her in his arms at night or, at times, kissing her with what would seem as restrained lips, which had always puzzled Scarlett but she wouldn't have dared instigate anything more. There were times when he kissed her with more intensity, but he usually managed to keep his cool; and if her lips ever grew more demanding, he seemed to withdraw.

What Scarlett would never know was that it took a lot of strength and self-control to keep himself from going further with their embraces, especially when she seemed to want him, though she never actually said so. There were many reasons behind his need for self-restraint that played over in his mind and that would stop him before he went too far, and one was the fact that she had banned him from her room because she no longer wanted his children. Even though there were precautions they could take, he couldn't help but wonder if Scarlett would now desire to have more of his children, and he wasn't altogether certain how he would even broach the subject.

If he asked her if she wanted more children, it could lead to further questions about their past, questions he would rather leave unanswered and forgotten. One of the last things he ever wanted her to discover, beside's her obstinate infatuation with Ashley, was his exile from her room and her refusal to have anymore of his children. Her words had cut that day, wounded him deeply, though he never would have let her see it, and it had crushed any hopes he may have had for their future, something he longed to forget and never wanted to relive. Now hope was finally instilled within him again, and he would not permit the past to intrude.

Another reason for keeping their bedroom chaste was the fact that Rhett was adamant about keeping his true feelings concealed. It was hard enough not to reveal the depth of his heart when she greeted him with smiles and behaved as if she seemed to care for him, let alone when they were sharing intimate moments. There had been many times where he had come so close to confessing his love in the slightest hope that she might confess the same, but he was a coward and he knew it. The thought that Scarlett would regain her memory was just enough incentive to pull away from her and keep his mouth shut. He had been doing so for enough of their marriage and for as long as they had known each other, but her indifference for his feelings had made it slightly easier, whereas now, it became an arduous task that took his constant concentration and willpower since the apathy he had faced for so long had vanished.

When Rhett finally pulled his lips free from hers, he buried his face in raven curls at the side of her neck and muttered things she could barely understand. At first her breathing came out in sporadic gasps, the stays refusing her lungs the needed air, until finally she could breathe normally, though her heartbeat wouldn't slow down.

Scarlett ran her fingers through Rhett's jet black hair, her arms still wrapped around his neck, and she whispered, "I love you."

**And for the cruelty of ending here, I promise to update within a week. I don't believe I've ever broken a promise… ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

Those three simple words, though ones that were never said in the Butler marriage, caused Rhett to freeze suddenly and wonder if he had heard them correctly or simply imagined them. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd envisioned Scarlett confessing her love for him, but this was usually during the long lonely and drunken nights of his exile or actually during a dream, not in the midst of reality or in the light of day. He could not allow himself to believe that he had finally gone mad and begun hearing the words being expressed aloud. Rhett's head snapped up suddenly, and he withdrew from both her grasp and the bed. With his feet planted firmly on the floor, he could think more clearly and analyze her face.

Scarlett, who was not expecting this abrupt and intense reaction, felt stupid for having said anything, especially when the words had escaped her lips unintentionally. It was not that she hadn't meant them, she had, but she wasn't altogether comfortable with the realization herself let alone ready to confess her feelings. Yet, even with all her doubts and uncertainties, Scarlett had not regretted saying those words until Rhett had retreated so hastily. His eyes were watching her and alertly searching her face, and she wondered what it was he could be looking for. She was sure her cheeks were tinted from embarrassment not to mention that his sudden rejection of her did not leave her wanting to be observed, and Scarlett lowered her eyes in discomfort.

"Look at me," Rhett said softly, though in a demanding tone just the same. "What did you say before?"

Scarlett sat up straight, smoothing her tumbled hair then the skirts of her dress, still managing to avoid his gaze.

"I…don't know what you're talking about," she finally said as she played with the fabric of her dress in attempts to keep her eyes from darting up to view his expression.

"Really? Your face says otherwise. Care to repeat what you said?"

Scarlett looked up and met his stare. There was a subtle softness to her features as she scrutinized Rhett's face. He was behaving so oddly to something she assumed would have pleased him.

"It's because you don't love me, isn't it?" she asked calmly, though she could feel the tears pricking behind her eyes as her throat constricted.

This was not what Rhett was expecting, and he ran a hand through his hair anxiously, wondering how to deviate the question.

"Why do you ask?"

"Why else would you react this way?" she asked roughly, the hurt manifesting itself into anger. "I tell you that I love you, and you back away as if I've—"

"So you admit it?" Rhett asked with both smiling lips and eyes as he reached for her hands that rested gently in her lap.

"What's wrong with you?!" she shouted quickly, incensed, as wrenched her hands out of his grasp.

He chuckled softly and took a hold of her hands once again, and this time she made no effort to stop him.

"I'm afraid there isn't enough time in the day, my dear. So you admit it?" he asked again, bending down in front of her when she averted her eyes to the ground.

When she refused to speak, he said, "Look at me Scarlett," and she did so unwillingly when he titled up her chin.

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes," she answered reluctantly, totally baffled by this event.

He inhaled deeply; too overwhelmed with a happiness he never thought he'd feel to be able to speak, so he brought his lips down to hers in a rush of passion, pulling her up from the bed and into his arms. Scarlett yielded to his kisses with ease, forgetting why she had been upset in the first place, but when Rhett broke their kiss, it all came back to her and she frowned.

"Is something wrong?" Rhett asked when he looked down into the flashing green depths, though he wasn't terribly perturbed by her grimace. He actually found it quite charming, and nothing at this moment was going to spoil this newly found bliss.

"Yes, you. I don't understand. What just happened here?"

"What exactly are you referring to?" he asked with grin, and then she tried to push him away, her hands shoving at his chest so that he might let her escape the cage of his arms.

"You know very well what I mean. Now let me go."

Rhett chuckled softly and said, "I love you Scarlett."

"I know you do," she answered without thinking, still occupied with trying to push him away, though her attempts were futile, and she sighed.

"You know I do?" he replied with a mischievous smirk.

"Of course, why wouldn't you?" she answered in simple frankness, and then Rhett's infuriating laughter filled the room.

"I'm sorry, but were you not the one who was questioning me about my feelings for you only a few moments ago? Seems rather strange to me that you would be so confident now," he teased.

"Strange! What do you call what happened before?" Scarlett cried out then resumed her attempts at pushing him away.

"I do hate to repeat myself, but what exactly—"

"Oh stop! You know what I mean. Before when you…"

"When I?"

Her eyes narrowed into green slits, and she began shoving him with more violence, but his arms were like securely wrapped iron around her waist. "You know very well what you did and don't pretend you don't. When I told you…when I said how I felt, you pulled away so quickly I'm surprised you didn't fall flat on your face, and if you dare say that it's because you were worried about me I'll…well I'll—"

"You'll what?" he asked with devilish gleam in his eyes as if he knew her next words would entertain him.

"I'll scream at the top of my lungs! I swear I will. Now let me go."

Rhett was laughing as he twisted a strand of her tumbled hair around his finger. "You're incredibly charming when you're in a temper, my dear."

"You're charming when you aren't speaking," she said as she tried to wriggle free of his arms. "Do stop laughing. This isn't the least bit funny."

When his laughter grew louder, she continued, "You're amused by this, aren't you?"

"What could have given you that impression?"

"Rhett!"

"Yes, I'm exceedingly amused, though for reasons you undoubtedly aren't aware of."

Scarlett stopped struggling and rested her forehead against Rhett's chest. At first, he was taken aback with her sudden surrender, but then he began rubbing her back comfortingly, taking advantage of the moment.

"It's hopeless," she finally mumbled into his shirt.

"What's hopeless?"

"You."

Rhett chuckled and continued running his hands up and down her back, sometimes placing kisses at the top of her head or into soft and flowing raven hair.

"Surely you haven't given up hope on me already?"

"I'll never understand you. Who reacts that way when someone tells them…"

"Tells them what?" he asked, prepared for the explosion.

"You know what!" Scarlett shouted into his chest, but she still wouldn't raise her head.

"I do. I only wanted to hear you say it again."

"You are an impossible, infuriating man, and I don't know why I bother to put up with you."

Rhett held back the urge to laugh again, but he was smiling broadly. "You don't have much of a choice, darling. Scarlett, look at me," he said softly, and she raised her head to stare up at him.

"It wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings when I—er—pulled away."

"Don't presume. You didn't hurt me," she said defensively, not wanting to admit to weakness.

"Don't lie Scarlett. I'm sorry I hurt you, but your words took me by surprise and I reacted accordingly."

"Is this your attempt at an apology?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes, and it's most sincere. You should appreciate my attempt because I don't do this very often."

"I can tell. I don't understand why you'd be surprised. I'm your wife. If I fell in love with you once, why wouldn't it happen again?"

Rhett released her from his hold and took a step back. These questions drove him mad. He was a man who admired forthrightness, and yet he was lying to her constantly, keeping everything from their past hidden from her. Throughout their marriage he had been honest about everything except his love, and now that was the only thing he could be honest about. It was comical in way. He had always thought that on the day Scarlett confessed her love, he would be in heaven, but somehow he'd managed to turn it into his own personal hell. Scarlett loved him now, but if she knew the truth, she wouldn't. If she knew he had abandoned her the night Atlanta fell, if she knew she had sold herself into a marriage for tax money because he had been powerless to help her, if she knew about Ashley and her demand for separate bedrooms, she wouldn't love him.

For a fleeting moment, Rhett felt his conscience jab at him, but the guilt vanished as quickly as it had come when he looked down into her unknowing green eyes. He knew it was selfish. He was aware that the questions would never go away, that he would have to spend the rest of his life lying and hiding things from her, and that one day she might know or discover the truth, but he didn't care. He wanted her and their life together, and there was no way he was going to lose all that he had recently gained.

"As delightful as I am, I never expected you to instantly fall in love with me."

"It was far from instantaneous," Scarlett said with a smile as she walked up to Rhett, resting one hand on his shoulder and stroking his cheek with the other.

"Why is that? Because you found me annoying?"

She giggled, wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "You're still annoying."

"But you love me despite my shortcomings. Isn't that what you wanted to say?" he asked as the light danced in his eyes.

"I suppose," she said lightheartedly with a shrug of her shoulders, and he chuckled softly.

"I'm curious, when is it that you discovered this love for me?"

"Oh no, you don't get to change the topic," she said with a shake of her head. "So… you backed away because you were surprised?"

"Yes."

"Because what I said was unexpected?" she asked with a grin, trying to torment him by dragging out her questions.

"Yes, along with your certainty of my feelings. Do you know what might have been nice?"

"What?

"If you would have said, I love you too, Rhett. That might have been appropriate given the circumstances," he teased then gently placed both hands on the sides of her face.

She scowled. "It might have been nice if you had done the same. I can't believe—" she started with a raised voice, but then she was suddenly silenced by Rhett's kiss.

He kissed her with warm leisurely lips that spoke more about his love than words ever could, words that would not come or words he kept at bay. He wondered if he would ever completely trust her with his heart. He doubted it. Maybe if he had won her honestly he would feel more assured, but he hadn't, and there would always be this underlying feeling that everything would suddenly disappear.

When their lips parted and she looked up at him, her love clearly written upon her face, Rhett smiled without a trace mockery, something that didn't last very long.

"Perhaps I should give you another chance. I love you Scarlett."

"I'm not saying it."

He sighed and ran his thumbs across her cheek affectionately. "Stubborn woman. What if I pleaded?"

"You could always try."

Rhett chuckled then began kissing the side of her neck, the warmth of his breath on her skin sending shivers down her spine. "I believe I can find other ways to coerce you, my dear."

Scarlett giggled. "I love you Rhett," she said in a honeyed tone.

"You gave in rather quickly. I expected more of a fight."

She slapped his chest playfully and replied, "Hush up or I'll take it all back."

Catering to her wishes, he shut up, and then he kissed her.

**Made it just under the radar, sort of. Spice and other stuff coming in the next chapter. As usual, I went a little dialogue crazy, so I didn't get to a lot of things I thought I would have. Btw, all of your reviews were especially sweet for the last chapter, so thanks for that :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Firstly, I am seriously very sorry for taking so long to update this. Let's just say that I hate this chapter with a passion. I've never really had so much trouble with a chapter before. Also, next time I promise spice, remind me the torture I went through for this stupid thing. So, yes, near the end of this chapter I do get a little more graphic than I usually am, but to call it smut would be a joke. Just a warning for people who don't like that sort of thing. Anyway, I promise never to take this long with an update again :)**

Wrapped in Rhett's arms, Scarlett kissed him back just as ardently. She found it strange to be kissed this way, feeling as if her feet might come floating off the ground at any moment. Of course his kisses had always affected her, but they were never quite like this. It was almost as if something inside him had been unleashed, something he had been holding back for a long time, and it was thrilling. Suddenly, she felt her feet being lifted off the ground and she thought she'd gone mad, but when she opened her eyes, she realized she was being carried over to the bed.

"Rhett, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked with grin.

She struggled to be set free, but he was unyielding.

"It's the middle of the afternoon," Scarlett said with a blush as she continued to try and wriggle free from his arms.

"And?" he said, obviously quite amused.

"What do you mean, and? Everyone will…would you please put me down now."

"No," he replied carelessly with a light chuckle, which brought about her scowl.

"Rhett! Honestly, you can't keep me here."

"No? And why not? I want you all to myself."

"You should have thought about that before. Now put me down."

"What exactly are you referring to, my dear?"

"You've had me all to yourself, but you've been too busy worrying about me to—oh it doesn't matter. Put me down."

He lowered her to the ground and she quickly went in search of the stockings Rhett had tossed to the floor earlier.

"Scarlett, don't tell me you've wondered why I've kept our bed chaste thus far," Rhett asked in mock astonishment then laughed when her face grew crimson.

"Don't presume. I've never—"

"Oh, but you have. There's no use in lying to me."

Backing away, Scarlett went over to the vanity to slip on her stockings and fix her disheveled hair. Rhett followed closely, but she chose to ignore him. She kept her eyes focused on the stockings in her hands, trying to hide her discomfort. Somehow this conversation had taken an unexpected turn, though she should have guessed it would, given who she was dealing with.

"And this is coming from the woman who only moments ago was worried because—"

"Would you stop!" she cried out in frustration, her guard down, and Rhett took the opportunity to pull the stockings out of her hands with one quick swipe.

Laughing lightly, Scarlet reached for them, but Rhett playfully hid them behind his back. With her next attempt, Rhett slid his arms around her waist, dropping the stockings and locking her in place. She didn't bother trying to escape; instead, she decided to enjoy the closeness and thrilling electricity emitted from his touch. There was something about this man. Something that made her crave him just as much as he drove her crazy, something that made her laugh just as much as she wanted to slap him, something that made her melt and swept her off her feet, at times, quite literally, and she needed him. All of him.

Rhett's hands were caressing her hair, his lips exploring her neck, and Scarlett closed her eyes, giving into the warmth. Taking a pause from kissing the side of her neck, Rhett murmured silkily, "Give me the rest of the afternoon. I'll bring supper up to our room."

She opened her eyes to man who was all too confident in his charms, and she stifled a giggle.

"Why would I do that?"

"Why wouldn't you?" he asked with a chuckle.

"You think you've won don't you?"

"Haven't I?" he whispered grinning.

Before she had a chance to respond, there was soft knock at the door and the sound of Wade's voice.

"Come in Wade," she called out.

Frowning, Rhett released her and backed away slightly. "You really want him to come in to see you looking like that?" he asked mockingly, his eyes raking over her body.

Wade walked in hesitantly and Scarlett chose to ignore her husband's comment, though she really wanted to shout that it was his fault that she was barefooted with her hair in disarray.

"Is something wrong Wade?" Scarlett asked her son.

"Bonnie keeps asking for Uncle Rhett. Mammy said I shouldn't say anything, but she won't stop."

"It's fine darling. Uncle Rhett will be right there," she said before he had the chance to answer for himself.

Wade left with a smile, happy to know he'd soon be spared the incessant whining of at least one of his sisters.

"Using your own child? Really Scarlett, I expected more from you."

She smiled smugly. "You're just upset because things didn't go your way."

"You believe you've won?" he asked with a grin as he came towards her, and with his every step, she took one step back.

"Haven't I?

Laughing lightly, he was beside her in an instant. "You underestimate me, my dear. Wait for me here. I'll be right back."

"I'll lock the door," she teased, but as soon as the words left her mouth, Rhett's face hardened and his eyes darkened stormily.

These were not the words he'd anticipated. Words that brought him back to a day he'd rather forget, words that allowed the past to infiltrate his present and haunt his future. This was when he envied Scarlett's lack of memory. How sweet it would be to have the power to eradicate the past and have the privilege of starting from scratch without the gnawing suspicion that everything would suddenly crumble at his feet.

With an effort, he wiped his face clean of all visible emotion, finally aware that Scarlett looked up at him questioningly.

"Don't bother. Do you think a lock would keep me out?" he said carelessly, unable to resist.

"Rhett, I—"

"I won't be long," he cut in then placed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room so quickly that Scarlett barely had time to absorb what had happened.

At one time this quick shift in mood might have upset her, but she quickly learned to brush it off since it occurred so regularly. There would always be this wall around him, protecting him from something she couldn't understand, and it seemed that no amount of questioning could break through it. Today she thought that something had changed, only to discover that she'd been no closer to gaining the truth than on any other day, but the faint hope that there could have been the slightest change made her more determined to find even the smallest crack.

When Rhett finally walked back into their bedroom, he was temporarily stunned. Scarlett sat at her vanity meticulously running a brush through her long raven locks that cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. At his entrance, she looked over at him innocently and stood up, flaunting how the ice white silk enticingly floated over the curves of her body and down to the floor.

"And where is that supper you promised me?" she asked with practiced carelessness.

"It's being prepared," he said with a light laugh. "What is it that you're wearing?"

"What, this old thing? I found it in the closet."

"I'd hardly call it old. That's one of the many things you bought on our honeymoon, and I doubt you've worn it more than once. Though, now that I think about it, it does feel like a lifetime has passed."

Her face lit up at his easy disclosure of information without even the slightest prodding on her part.

"Really? Where did we go on our honeymoon?"

"New Orleans," he responded as he took her hands and began placing kisses into the open palms.

"Would you take me back there?"

He looked up to meet her eyes. "If you'd like me to."

"Oh yes," Scarlett said leaning into his body and he could smell the tempting fragrance of roses that surrounded her.

"Scarlett, why do I feel like I'm being seduced?"

"Don't be silly," she said dismissively as she backed away, suddenly self-conscious. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"I'm sure you do. Don't think I'm complaining, I appreciate your effort, but there was no need. You have me already," he said with an amused smirk as he moved towards her while she backed away like terrified prey.

"If this is about the dress, you conceited thing, I'll take it off—I mean change," she corrected when his eyebrows flew up and he smiled impertinently.

Dark smoldering eyes scanned her figure appraisingly in a way that made her feel like she might as well have been wearing nothing at all.

"Don't bother. It's very becoming," Rhett finally commented offhandedly, though he couldn't help but have a hard time hiding how completely beguiling she was and how it affected him.

Her brows furrowed as she said, "Becoming? That's all you have to say."

She was beyond insulted. The gown was definitely more than simply _becoming_, not to mention that he failed to compliment her specifically. He could pretend all he wanted, but she knew she looked beautiful even if he refused to admit.

"What would you prefer I say? That you're the most enchanting creature I've ever seen. That even the slightest glance at you has me—"

"Oh, would you stop! I don't care for your jokes, and could you stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" he teased with short laugh.

"You know exactly like what. Now would you please go and check on our supper. I don't want it to be cold."

He was laughing and she grimaced. Things were certainly not going as planned. He was supposed to be eating out of her hand by now, but somehow, he'd managed to strip away all her power effortlessly.

"At your service madam," Rhett agreed with a deep bow, and much to her shock, he headed for the door.

Scarlett could tell he was mocking her, but she didn't care as long as he left the room so that she could collect herself. Seeing that Rhett still stood on the wrong side of the door, she realized that he wasn't going to leave.

"You know Scarlett, I've decided that supper can wait," he said as if it had been his idea to check on the meal, suddenly standing beside her.

Taking her upper arms in his hands, he bent as if to kiss her, but she averted her head quickly. He searched her face quizzically, surprised by this reaction.

"Rhett, _I've_ decided that I… want to know how we met, the whole story. I want to know why you don't speak to your family, why you constantly keep things from me. I want to know everything you've failed to tell me because you were worried," Scarlett replied as she stepped out of his arms.

"Ah, so all this has been about coercion."

"Well…no. It's more like an incentive," she answered with a blush, unsure as to whether he was amused or repulsed.

"And you thought that I would be so incapable of resisting your—er—charms that I would gladly jump through hoops?" he said with a light laugh, and she was relieved to know that he wasn't upset. "Scarlett, how long do you think it would take me to wear down your resolve and change your mind? I'm willing to wager that it would be fairly easy, and you should know that when I bet, I don't lose. Only once have I wagered and feared I'd lost."

"You're insulting me!" she cried out, fuming at his slight at her charms.

"I'm not insulting you. I'm merely suggesting that—"

"That I'm so weak and unable to resist you."

"No Scarlett, I don't want you to resist me, and I don't believe you want to either," Rhett said smoothly, taking her hands and drawing her towards him.

Desire was clearly smoldering through the dark orbs. His hands were dying to touch her, and they snaked around her waist until she was pushed up against him, the buttons of his shirt pressing into her skin. She would have liked to rebuff his advances, but her yearning for him was stronger than that for power. Suddenly his lips were crushing hers fervently, his hands fondling and burning through the delicate silk. Her head rolled back when he began caressing and nibbling the sensitive area of her neck, her hands running through the jet black hair. With a sudden brazen impulse, Scarlett's fingertips wandered down to his firm chest and started unfastening the many buttons of his shirt then pulling the garment out of the trousers, sliding it down his arms and dropping it to the ground to expose the swarthy skin. Spurred on by her sudden forwardness, Rhett's hands snuck under the material of the gown, and the breath caught in her throat. Swiftly, Scarlett was once again swept off her feet and carried over to the bed. Layers of clothing fell to the floor, barriers melting away.

"Rhett, is the door locked?" she finally whispered shyly.

He chuckled and tucked a wild strand of hair behind her ear. "Only you would think of something like that at such a moment," he murmured with a tint of amusement then renewed his world dizzying kisses.

When Scarlett didn't immediately respond, he stopped. "The door is locked darling," he reassured her with a grin, and with a satisfied smile, she drew his mouth back to her own.

The weight of his bare body pushed her deep into the mattress, but nothing seemed to bring them close enough. His hands roamed down the length of her slender neck, over the soft peaks and along the curve of her hips, his lips leaving searing trails as they travelled from her breasts to her abdomen, causing her to quiver with anticipation. With his every stroke she seemed to dissolve into him, molding to his taut body. As their kisses deepened while their lips and hands wandered, their heartbeats raced rapidly, both of them breathless and aching for each other's touch. When Scarlett moaned Rhett's name, he knew she was ready, and he slid into her wet warmth. How long it had been since he'd held her this close, thinking he would never get these moments back. How many times had he used whores and struggled to imagine they were his wife who ardently responded to him, who hungered for him. Now he had more than anything he could have hoped for, and he wasn't ever going to let it go.

He wanted nothing but to feel, taste, and caress every inch of the woman. The woman he thought he'd never have. Now she belonged to him, heart mind and soul, and it felt like he was moving in an intoxicating dream, a dream he never wanted to wake from. As he moved against her he could feel her tighten around him, her legs wrapped and trembling around his waist, her hands and nails gripping and digging into the flesh of his shoulders, meeting his every thrust. Scarlett was softly calling Rhett's name as they reached the brink of ecstasy, and he surrendered completely, abandoning his armor and forgetting all his needs for restraining, for concealing his heart and running away. This was what he had always wanted. To hold the one person he would every truly love or crave and know that she felt the same, that she wanted and needed him and only him. It was exhilarating to finally be granted what you always wanted but never really imagined attainable.

"I love you," Rhett breathed huskily, unable to hold back the pent up emotion.

And, with a sweet release and the cooing of endearments, they came floating back down to reality. A reality he no longer desired to cloud with heavy intoxicants.

**BTW if this really is terrible, I have no problems deleting it.**


	9. Chapter 9

With a start, Rhett awoke early that morning, so early in fact that the sun had yet to rise. Something was weighing heavily on his mind, which refused to allow him the rest he desperately needed after their long night. Smiling at the memory, he looked down adoringly at his wife whose head lay pillowed against his chest, her arm draped across his abdomen. She was so beautiful when she was sleeping, her face peaceful and angelically innocent, a far cry from her blazing green eyes and grimace when in a temper, yet just as endearing. Rhett wondered how he'd managed to go on for so long without Scarlett in his bed, why he hadn't forced himself back where he belonged long ago, but he already knew the answer. Pride. He wasn't the type of man to expose himself and his weaknesses. He also wasn't the type of man who had to manipulate his way into women's beds; they were always there open for him, waiting for him to climb in, and not even Scarlett O'Hara would hold enough power to have him begging for room in her bed. And so he had kept his dignity, wounded hers, with pleasure no less, and hadn't even bothered to consider that he might have made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

Looking back, Rhett realized what a poor bedfellow pride had turned out to be. He thought he'd feel better by concealing his true feelings, by making her believe that he couldn't give a damn one way or the other where he slept, that she meant very little to him, body or mind, yet all he had really felt was a stinging loneliness, bitter resentment and a gaping hole in his heart's space. It was rather simple to superficially fill the wound with strong liquors and to soothe his vanity with various whores, but it only really masked the pain, never cured it. In the morning he would still wake to find that a part of him was missing. He'd never openly given her his heart, but it still felt like she'd stolen a piece and never returned it. Pride did very little to fill the void and heal the emptiness, yet he had clung to it like a lifeline, like it was the only thing he had left.

For a moment, Rhett let his mind wander back to when Scarlett had shut him out of her room and to the first words she uttered that let him know that the unstable foundation they'd built their marriage on was about to get all that more shaky.

"_Rhett, I've decided that I don't want any more children."_

Those words still cut, words that were not easily forgotten, but before he had the time to recollect anymore of that fateful day, it suddenly struck him; children. That's why he couldn't sleep. Too wrapped up in his wife and in the moment, Rhett had forgotten to take any measures to prevent pregnancy, not to mention that he hadn't even bothered to discuss the issue with her, though that clearly wasn't the first thing on his mind at the time. Thinking about it, Rhett realized he only had two options. The first would be to hope to God that he hadn't gotten her in the family way, playing the innocent happy father if she were carrying his child. The second would be to tell her the truth. Of course there was a devious way to go about it. Why would he _have_ to explain why she hadn't wanted anymore of his children? Simply glossing over the details should suffice, but deep down he didn't really want to even do that. Being a father was one of the most fulfilling and joyous experiences of his life. Giving all his love to Bonnie had been his salvation after the hope of winning Scarlett's love had vanished, and now when he finally had everything he always wanted, he didn't want to jeopardize it.

Suddenly, Scarlett stirred, pulling him out of his musings. She started calling his name in a soft tone that gradually grew louder, tears rolling down the sides of her face, and Rhett finally realized she was having a nightmare. As he shook her gently while murmuring her name, Scarlett's eyes flew open.

"Rhett, you're here," she mumbled, slightly disoriented but grateful for the strong comforting arms that cradled her.

"Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?" he answered tenderly, wiping away the stray tears that lingered on her cheeks. "Were you having a nightmare?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You think so? Can't you remember?"

"Well, it's all so misty," she replied evasively, ducking her head in discomfort.

"Have you had many nightmares before this one?"

Scarlett took a moment to answer. "No."

It was painfully obvious that she was lying, though what he couldn't understand was why she would feel the need to hide the truth.

"You're lying," he said, his voice and face hard.

"No I'm not."

"My pet, you should know by now that you are irrefutably the easiest person to read, or has that escaped your memory as well? You can't lie to me Scarlett and you shouldn't bother trying."

Annoyed, she started to protest, but was swiftly interrupted.

"I'm vaguely curious in fact. Why would you feel the need to lie about something as trivial as a nightmare? Well? I'm waiting breathlessly."

"Well what? You won't let me speak," she threw at him, sitting up and tearing herself away from the encircling arms.

"No, I don't care to listen to your denials. There is a vast difference, my dear."

"I hate you!"

"Hardly. You only hate that I've caught you in a lie. Really Scarlett, you do realize this embarrassment could have been avoided if you'd been honest."

Scowling fiercely, she threw off the covers and replied, "Thank you for being so comforting. I don't know why I didn't come to you earlier."

Her wrist was seized by a tight grip before she could crawl away, her body once again surrounded by Rhett's strong arms.

"I'd like nothing more than to comfort you, but you seem intent on making that rather difficult. Did you honestly expect me to pretend to believe your lies?"

"If you had any chivalry."

"No, and I've never claimed to have any. You've known all along that I'm no gentleman. Is this suddenly a problem for you?"

"Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"So mean and hateful. I didn't do anything wrong."

"You lied. I can take anything from you except a lie, and now I'm asking for the truth. Why didn't you feel you could be honest with me about your nightmares? Don't you know that you can tell me anything?"

"No, that's not true. I never know how you are going to take the things I say, how you will react. You don't think I would like to tell you when I wake up, cold and frightened, and can't go back to sleep? I can't tell you! I don't want you watching me like you were before, like I'm some foolish child," she muttered resentfully.

"Scarlett, I never want you to feel like you can't be honest with me. I assure you, there are few things you could say that would ever shock me." _If there were, they've already been said, _he thought to himself but didn't say aloud.

"Really? So if I told you the truth you wouldn't get upset?" said Scarlett as she nuzzled closer to him, realizing there was a better way to go about getting what she wanted. Men were relatively simple creatures. Rhett had proven a worthy adversary, but that didn't mean she was ready to give up just yet.

"No. There is nothing I admire more than frankness."

"So, if I told you that I want to go back to work at the lumber mills, you wouldn't object to that?"

"Not if that's what will make you happy," he answered seriously, though he knew exactly what she was up to, and it took a lot of willpower to restrain the urge to laugh.

"Good, because that's what I intend on doing. That'll show those guinea hens. Do you know what Dolly Merriwether said to me yesterday? She said she was happy to see that I wasn't going to go back to work! Rhett, I just can't stand it any longer, I need to be doing something. I can't stand their chatter or their gossip, their prattling on about things that bore me to death. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to stay awake. I can't do it anymore. I'd rather be doing something exciting, and I don't care what any of them has to say about me. I'd rather be doing anything as long as it meant that I could spend as little time as possible with that India Wilkes. Who names their child India anyway? " she said, getting riled up at the thought of all the excruciating hours spent in the company of women who drove her insane, put her to sleep and gained her contempt.

"And Scarlett is such a common name," Rhett teased and was playfully slapped on the chest for it. "But it is a rare and exquisite name, and it suits you perfectly," he finished with a smirk.

"Really? How's that?"

"I believe I'll keep it to myself. I'd hate to be slapped again. Now, may I remind you that India's delightful counterpart is none too exciting a fellow? You are taking a risk by returning to the mills."

Scarlett giggled. "I can handle Ashley," she said, pausing for a moment when the memory of their first meeting came to mind, and then she cringed slightly. "But you are an altogether different story."

"I should hope so. I would have been insulted if you had said otherwise."

Scarlett rolled her eyes but couldn't keep the smile off her face. The man was conceited and infuriating, but she loved him despite it and even because of it at times. Of course she would never tell him this. There was no need to spur the man on.

"That reminds me. Melanie invited us to Ashley's birthday party. It's a surprise and it's in a few days. She told me he hasn't celebrated his birthday since the barbeque at Twelve Oaks."

"Ah yes, he is surely deserving of a celebration."

"Rhett, you will behave won't you? The sight of you won't have him falling into a cake or something, will it?"

Rhett chuckled softly then began playing with the stray tendrils at the side of face, twisting the bouts of hair around his finger. "If only I could be so lucky," he said with a mock sigh. "We'll have to wait and see what I can manage."

"Rhett!"

"My pet, you have nothing to fear. I have a feeling you'll be occupying my full attention."

"You have a feeling or you'll make sure of it?" she asked skeptically.

"My dear, how perceptive. It's quite unlike you. I suppose it was foolish of me to hope that my own wife might feel the same way and want to spend the evening on my arm. Alas, my hopes have been crushed! You have wounded me deeply. And here I thought you cared something for me. How shall I—"

"How you do run on," she grumbled then swiftly brought her lips to his in a sudden kiss.

Rhett was leaning over her when they pulled apart. "I'll dare to hope that was because you find me so terribly irresistible that you could not manage to keep your hands off me, not because you wanted to shut me up."

Laughing lightly and running a hand over his hard cheek, Scarlett said, "Believe what you want."

"Another hope crushed. You are heartless, darling. Praying on my weakness for you and letting me believe—"

"You just want me to kiss you again."

"What could have ever given you that impression?" Rhett murmured as he placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"Scarlett, I wish you would have told me about your nightmares," he continued.

Body turning to steel, she pushed him away so that he was no longer leaning over her. It was hard enough lying without having to face dark scrutinizing eyes that seemed to will words out of her mouth.

"Please drop this. I don't want to discuss it."

"No that's perfectly evident by the way you've avoided this topic, but I do want to discuss it. I didn't know you were having nightmares. You never woke me."

"I know," she said offhandedly.

"Scarlett," he urged forcefully, imploring her to continue.

"They're not very bad. Just…tonight was the first time—normally I just wake up and can't sleep. I don't usually start crying like a baby."

"What was the dream about? You used to have this reoccurring nightmare. It could be the same."

"It's not important."

"There's something you're not telling me," he said, the annoyance creeping into his voice.

"The pot's calling the kettle black," she replied tartly.

"But unfortunately for you, this is not about me."

"Oh! Of course it's not. You always make sure that it isn't! I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

"You are in bed, my pet or haven't you noticed? I can't imagine why you would be tired. Surely it could have nothing to do with the lack of sleep you've been having."

"Leave me alone!"

"Scarlett, must you be so stubborn? I don't understand this desire to hide the details of your dream, unless of course," he paused, hoping he was wrong, "you've recalled something?"

She blushed, averting her eyes and turning her back to him. "Stop it."

"Tell me," he pressed, his arm sneaking across her waist and drawing her against his chest.

"Fine. I didn't want to get your hopes up. It's only bits and pieces. Maybe it's nothing. It might only be nightmares, but they feel so real. Sometimes they feel like memories. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't know why I woke up crying. It's so silly."

"You were calling my name. Did you think I was gone? You never have to worry, my dear. I'll always be here when you wake up."

"Always?" she whispered uncertainly, making sure he was serious.

"Always," Rhett replied with a light chuckle as he held her closely then placed a gentle kiss on the exposed skin at the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

Finally, he was needed, and the feeling was beyond compare. He wanted to give her something in return, to give her something she desired most, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sometimes the truth seems like a beacon of light, but in this case it was more like an ominous cloud hovering over their newly established happiness. There was still time to wait and see how things would play out.

**I don't know where you guys got the idea that I didn't like my last chapter. My A/N wasn't at all hostile ha ha. Ok, I was a tad harsh, but I was still frustrated when I wrote it. Anyway, I just want to thank you all again for the very sweet reviews. They made me feel much better about something I wasn't pleased or comfortable with. Also, I would have gotten this out earlier but I cut half of it out. It will appear in the next chapter instead. This story will finally be going somewhere :)**


	10. Chapter 10

At breakfast that morning on Ashley's birthday, the family sat gathered around the dining room table. Most of the dishes had been cleared, but the coffee remained laid out. Bonnie was seated in her father's lap, playing with a silver spoon, while Wade and Ella sat there quietly, itching to leave the table. The morning had been relatively boring since neither of their parents had much to say, both too absorbed with their own thoughts.

Finally getting up enough courage, Wade asked, "Mother, may I be excused?"

"What?" she answered, not really paying much attention. "Oh, yes. Go out and play."

When he got up to leave, Ella followed closely behind, and he glared. Never would he be rid of her. It was like he had his own irritating personal shadow following him around, not mention that she didn't even have the decency to keep quiet. The girl jabbered incessantly about nothing, much like the Old Guard his mother had to deal with occasionally, and he could only hope that he would be spared her company somewhere in the day. There was only so much he could take.

"Rhett," Scarlett finally said sweetly after having been pulled out of her musings by Wade.

Meeting her gaze, Rhett smiled. "Yes, my pet? Why do I have a feeling you'll be asking me for a something?"

"No, that's not true," she denied quickly.

"It's quite charming actually."

"What?"

"What a poor liar you are," he answered with a smirk.

"I am not a liar!"

"What is it that you wanted to ask me then?"

She paused for a moment, failing to think up a good lie, and she answered, "Nothing."

"Ah, of course. That's why you've been so quiet this morning. It must be a fairly large favor if you've struggled with it for so long. Well, what is it?"

Scarlett laughed. The man was more than irritating, and he wasn't joking when he'd said he could read her mind. If only there was a way she could trap him as effortlessly as he could catch her.

"Fine. I was wondering if you could drive me to the mills this morning?"

"Yes, if that's what you want. Is that all you wished to ask me?"

"Yes. I was just expecting you to try and change my mind."

"My dear, I've realized by now that once your mind is made, there is very little anyone can do to change it."

"I could say the same about you."

Rhett chuckled and stood from his seat with Bonnie in his arms, and he walked over to Scarlett and left a light kiss on her forehead. "I suppose you could."

~R&S~

When Ashley looked up from the desk and saw Scarlett, he almost dropped the pencil that was gripped in his hand. Since that unfortunate tea incident, Ashley had been lucky enough to avoid being in Scarlett's company for too long, but now there was no way to escape her. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, but it was altogether too nerve-racking to have a conversation with her when anything he might say could be taken back to her husband. The last thing he wanted was another humiliating encounter with Captain Butler, and there was no telling what would set off such a volatile man with no gentleman code of honor.

"Scarlett, this is a surprise," he said with feigned pleasantry, standing to greet her.

"Good morning Ashley. I probably should have told you I was coming, but it was a spur of the minute decision. You will help me get to know what it is that I do? I'm going to need your help."

"Certainly. Are you planning on returning to work permanently?"

"Yes," she replied then added, "is that going to be a problem?"

"No, just the opposite. I'm afraid I haven't been doing as well as I might have hoped since you left. To be honest Scarlett, I've never been very good at this job."

"I'm sure you're just being modest," she said carelessly, not believing a word. It wasn't that she thought he wasn't capable, but he didn't strike her as someone who excelled in the business world.

"No, Scarlett. I've never had a head for figures and I can't drive convicts."

"Convicts?"

"Yes. I wish you would reconsider and allow me to hire free darkies. I believe I could do better."

"Why would I hire convicts in the first place? I must have given you a reason."

"Their pay is substantially cheaper, and you—Scarlett, I know I haven't any right to say this to you, but I'm still hoping you will reconsider."

Scarlett thought about it for a moment. In reality, she didn't give a fig about how much profit was made. She really only wanted to be back at work so that she could occupy herself with something challenging to alleviate the boredom that often snuck up on her, but it was quite evident that this meant a great deal to Ashley. It was the perfect opportunity to get something she wanted out of the man.

"Well, if I gave you what you wanted, what would you give me in return?" she asked in a honeyed tone.

"Is there something that you wanted?"

"Now that you mention it, yes there is something I've wanted to know for a while now. If you could tell me what I want to know, I don't see why I couldn't let the convicts go."

"What is it that you want to know?"

"I want to know why my husband makes you so nervous, why you can barely look at me when I'm speaking to you."

The grey in his eyes went dull and his face fell. Lying was not his cup of tea. "Scarlett, I'm not at liberty to disclose information that your husband doesn't want to give you himself. This is something you should be asking him."

"Please Ashley. Don't you want me to get rid of the convicts? How badly do you want it?"

"I was hoping you would change your mind out of the kindness of your heart. I'm afraid I can't allow myself to be bribed."

"Why does everybody keep hiding things from me!" she shouted vehemently. "I can't stand it any longer!"

"I'm sorry. I—"

"Don't apologize to me. Tell me what I want to know!"

He lowered his head dejectedly, at a loss. "I wish I could help you."

"You can but you're choosing not to. Never mind. Are those the books over there?" she asked, pointing towards the desk. She wanted nothing more than to take her mind off things. It was bad enough being kept in the dark by Rhett, but it seemed her husband had gone to great lengths to make sure everyone around her did the same, other than Melanie.

"Yes, I was going over them."

"Fine, we'll start with that then you can show me the rest of what I do," she said bitterly as she made her way to the desk and took a seat. "And you can fire the convicts if you're so uncomfortable with them."

"Why—"

"Because I said so!" she snapped. "I'm still in charge aren't I? This is my business, and I can choose to do what I like."

"I don't know what to say, I—"

"Good, then don't say anything at all. I'm tired of discussing this. Would you please show me the books now?"

Ashley pulled up another chair, ready to show Scarlett how the business ran. It did not take very long for her to catch on, and she quickly realized what a savvy business woman she really was. In fact, by the end of the day she was already delegating orders and cleaning up the mess that Ashley had made while she had been away. It was fairly easy to see that Ashley was indeed bad with figures, though that was an understatement in itself. Within a month he'd managed to get the books into a real snarl, and by the end of the day, fairly tired and irritable, Scarlett went home with books in hand, prepared to untangle the disarray.

~R&S~

In a hurried pace, Scarlett threw open the library door and slammed the books onto the large desk with a loud thud. Rhett, who was peacefully reading, looked up and grinned. Although he had no idea why his wife was in such a temper, at least it felt good to know that she and the estimable Mr. Wilkes hadn't hit it off.

"Mrs. Butler. How nice to have you home in such good humor. I can see that going back to work was just the change of pace you needed."

She glared, her eyes a fiery green, but she chose to ignore his sarcasm. "Rhett, can you tell me what in God's name possessed me to hire Ashley Wilkes? I know Melanie said it was wonderful of me to offer him a job because they didn't want to move up North, but I can't believe I'm that sweet! I just don't see myself as being foolish enough to hire an incompetent—why are you laughing?" she asked exasperated, in mid-tirade.

In truth, Rhett tried holding back his laughter, but the situation was much too comical. How many times they had shared arguments over Ashley's ineffectiveness, with Scarlett adamantly defending him, and now she had openly confessed the truth. It felt like sweet validation.

"There's no particular reason. So what has the man done wrong, or rather what has he done right? That might save us some time."

"This isn't the least bit funny. I wish you would stop making jokes for once and be a little more helpful."

"Would you like my suggestion? Fire him, or better yet, give him the business and relieve yourself of the responsibility."

"Yes, you'd like that wouldn't you? The moment I go back to work you'd have me give my business away like it was nothing at all."

Turning away from him in frustration, Scarlett began rubbing her temples, trying to alleviate a headache that sprung up unexpectedly. Rhett was behind her in an instant, his arms sliding around her waist.

"What are you doing?" she asked carelessly.

"I am trying to make you feel better. Is it working?"

"No."

He chuckled softly. "No? Would you mind telling me why?"

"Because you're still in the room."

"Ah Scarlett, we both know you aren't upset with me, but I'd hate to be losing my touch," he said as he brought his lips to the side of her neck, his thin mustache tickling and causing her to giggle. "Do you feel better now?" he asked between the feather-light kisses.

"No," she breathed, thought it was quite evident that she was lying.

"No? How about now," he questioned as he began unfastening the buttons at the front of her dress.

Scarlett swiftly brought her hands onto his to stop him. "Rhett, anybody might walk in."

"Forgive me, for a moment I forgot your obsession with locks."

Rolling her eyes and turning to face him, Scarlett was about to say something before she was rudely interrupted by Rhett's insistent kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she was instantly kissing him back, even when she wanted to prolong her annoyance and push him away. There was no question, he had a way with her, and as much as she wanted to fight it at times, there was a satisfying relief that came with surrendering.

"How do you feel now?" he asked with a grin when he pulled away.

"Like I want to slap you."

"Ah, well you should be fairly used to the feeling by now," he teased as he stroked the side of her cheek tenderly. "Scarlett, I was serious before. If the mills don't make you happy, you should sell them. You still have the store to worry about and you know we don't need the money."

"It's not about the money, and I don't want to sell them. I just had a bad day is all. I never thought I'd go in to work and find everything in such a horrible mess. I really wish I didn't agree to let the convicts go though. I have a feeling that was a mistake now."

"You let the convicts go?"

"Yes, I couldn't really believe I'd been working them in the first place. Ashley said he could work better without them. I just hope he's right. Really, he couldn't do much worse."

"Ah, so Ashley is the one who convinced you."

"Yes. You don't think I made a mistake, do you?"

"No, darling. I wouldn't worry about it," Rhett said soothingly as embraced his wife, wondering what else the little gentleman had mentioned. "Do you know what might make you feel better?"

"What?" she answered, bracing herself for a mocking remark.

"If we skipped Ashley's party. I'd hate for you to have to endure him for longer than is necessary."

"And what would we do instead?"

Rhett smirked. "I believe I could come up with something better."

"I'm sure you could, but I already promised Melly. You'll just have to bear it for one evening."

"I was only thinking of you, my dear."

Scarlett laughed lightly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I suppose I'm not the only one who's a terrible liar," she quipped before heading to her room to get ready.

~R&S~

Waiting at the door on Ivy Street, Rhett and Scarlett were greeted by Melanie and India, who was helping to receive the guests. She warmly embraced her sister-in-law then addressed India with a kind compliment and false smile. Knowing how Scarlett really felt about the old maid, Rhett quickly escorted her away from the entrance so that they wouldn't be bothered with making polite conversation. Unfortunately, many guests had already arrived, so the couple made the rounds and graciously greeted everyone. Aunt Pitty cornered them for longer than they had hoped, but they quickly escaped under the pretense of getting some punch.

"Scarlett, I have to say you're a better actress than I imagined."

"It comes with practice. I don't mind a party, but there is no one I dislike more than—oh Ashley. Happy Birthday," she said amiably when he came up to them unexpectedly.

"Thank you. This was a lovely surprise."

"Were you really surprised?"

"I had my suspicions, but I won't let on. Thank you both for coming. If you'll excuse me, I believe my wife is expecting me to cut the cake," Ashley said quickly, still ill at ease with Captain Butler.

"Skittish little fellow, isn't he?" Rhett jibed, which caused Scarlett to roll her eyes.

"And that couldn't possibly have anything to do with you?"

"Scarlett, I'm appalled. To think that you would—"

"Do hush up."

Rhett chuckled and slid his arm around her waist possessively. "Did I tell you how stunning you look tonight?" he whispered in her ear.

The raven hair was piled up on top of her head, curled and fastened with an ornate diamond comb, extenuating the long narrowness of her neck. The deep red of the dress brought out the rosiness of her cheeks without the help of rouge, while the bouncing diamond earbobs caught the light in the room and illuminated her face.

"Only once," she replied coyly, "but I don't mind hearing it again. You don't look so bad yourself Rhett, though you usually are always impeccably dressed."

"I'm stunned. Was that a genuine compliment?"

She was about to slap his chest playfully, but he caught her hand in time and placed a soft kiss into the palm.

Scarlett giggled. "Will you ever behave yourself?"

"No, but I don't think you really want me to, darling," Rhett answered with a devilish grin.

For the entirety of the party, the Butlers were relatively inseparable. Whenever Scarlett did leave his side, Rhett's eyes lovingly followed her. More than once, he had to be called back into a conversation because his mind had wandered elsewhere. He was aware that he was behaving like a love struck adolescent, but he was too happy to care or to be embarrassed. For once, things were finally falling into place, and he didn't give a damn if he made a fool of himself over his wife. The couple's behavior was more than noticeable to the many guests that filled the Wilkes' home. Some found it charming and others found it sickeningly sweet, especially those who were used to the strained relationship between the two. More than anyone, India Wilkes hated seeing Scarlett happy. It was a painful reminder of something she would never have, and she more than wished misery on Scarlett.

When the evening died down, Rhett asked her if she would like to go home.

"Yes. Just let me find Melanie to say goodbye. I'll be right back."

On her way to find Melly, Scarlett heard the mention of her name and saw a small group of women huddled together. Hiding behind a doorframe, her ear to wall, she listened in on the gossip.

"Did you see those two this evening, barely keeping their hands off each other? It was deplorable" India said disdainfully. "I thought they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. And wasn't he spending his nights with that horrible bad woman, Belle Watling? I don't see how everything could have changed so suddenly."

"Maybe Captain Butler moved back into his room because of Scarlett's condition," Mrs. Elsing added.

"Yes, and I don't believe his carriage has been seen in front of that wicked place for a while now," contributed one woman whose voice Scarlett didn't recognize.

"Now ladies, it's better for all of us if the Butlers are on good terms. Just think how unpleasant this evening could have been—"

"It wasn't pleasant," India muttered bitterly.

Not being able to handle any more, Scarlett moved away from the doorway, her stomach in agonizing knots.

**So, I was wondering what it was that I haven't done in a while, and then I thought: A cliffhanger! LOL It's been a long time. Anyway, I wish I could promise you when I will update this, but I can't because I am now faced with a hellish week. Hope you enjoyed. I tried to keep most of it sweet ;-) **


	11. Chapter 11

For a moment, Scarlett had to steady herself against the wall as a bout of nausea washed over her. It was odd how deeply cruel words could cut, how the thought of a physical blow seemed merciful in comparison to these venomous sentences strung together by the very gossips she hated. In a mere matter of minutes the blissful existence she had known until now had shattered around her like tiny shards of taunting glass, and Scarlett couldn't help but wish beyond hope that she was having another nightmare. It felt like everyone around was in on the trick and laughing, but what hurt the most was that she had been deceived by the one she needed. Seeing as Melly turned the corner, she took in a deep breath to calm the unsteadying nerves that had her leaning on the wall for support, and she steeled her spine and plastered a false smile on her face.

"My dear, there you are. Captain Butler said you were looking for me," Melanie said kindly, but the genuine smile on her lips faded as she took in Scarlett's pallor. "Darling you're so pale. Are you not feeling well? Should I go get—"

"No," Scarlett cut in swiftly. "No, don't be silly. I'm fine. I only need some fresh air. I'll just step outside for a moment. It's so warm in here."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh don't be a goose Melly. Of course I'm sure. I'll just be a minute."

"I could go with you," Melanie suggested.

"Would you stop fussing? I'm fine," she replied with more bite than she'd intended. "I'll be right back."

Hastily, Scarlett slipped out the front door and down the stairs onto the dark streets. The cool night air felt like relief against her skin, and she inhaled the deepest breath the tightly strung corset would allow. With every breath she willed her thunderous heartbeat to stop its pounding, but it seemed to have a mind of its own, much like her thoughts which ran like wildfire. Tears pricked behind her eyes, and she squeezed them shut, forbidding their release. A few drops escaped at the corners, and Scarlett swiped them away with the back of her hands before they could trickle down the curves of her cheeks. Taking one quick glance back at the home filled with the duplicitous guests, her stomach lurched and she knew she wouldn't be able step a foot over the threshold. Every click of her heeled slippers down Ivy Street pushed the little brick house farther and farther into the distance and brought on a sense of composure and momentary alleviation of the throbbing pain that spread through her like a disease.

Rhett, who had been waiting for Scarlett, grew faintly worried when he saw that Melanie was not in his wife's company, and he was by her side within a few strides.

"Mrs. Wilkes, have you seen Scarlett?"

"Yes. She stepped outside for a moment. I don't believe she was feeling well. I was just about to check on her, but she seemed to want to be alone."

"Thank you. I'll go and see if she is all right and ready to go home," Rhett replied casually before heading out the door to find her.

The faint worry had grown considerably with Melly's words, and even more so when he saw that Scarlett was not on the front steps or anywhere nearby the house. Looking up the street, he saw the dark outline of her figure, and it calmed his nerves. It didn't take long for Rhett to mount his carriage, without even taking the time to say goodbye to either Wilkes, and have it right by her side in an instant. Hearing the sound of the hooves and rolling wheels of the carriage, Scarlett realized Rhett was trailing her but pretended otherwise. When he called her name, she ignored him and continued forward, not even bothering to give him a sideways glance. If there was any annoyance on Rhett's part due to the fact that she'd run away without a word to a single soul let alone her own husband, this immaturity tipped the scales. Halting the carriage, he jumped out and had her arm in a vice-like grip in an instant.

"Let me go you brute," she cried trying to shake free of his hold.

"No, I don't believe I will. Not until you get into the carriage."

"No. Let me go! I'm not going anywhere with you."

"And just why is it that you find my company suddenly so unappealing?" he asked while his dark eyes bored into hers as they searched for answers.

"You think I'm a fool don't you?"

"For running off in the middle of the night; yes. Where exactly did you think you were going?"

Glowering fiercely, she vehemently tried to break free of the hand that dug into the skin of her arm. "I hate you! Let go of me before I scream."

"My dear, I fear you haven't understood me, so let me put it this way. You are getting into the carriage. Whether it is of your own volition or not, now that is your choice, and I don't give a damn if you wake all of Atlanta with your shrieks of protest. Well, what have you decided?"

When she tried to slap his face and kick him in the shin, Rhett said, "So be it," and hoisted her over his shoulder in one quick motion.

Pummeling his broad back proved ineffective, and Scarlett submitted to his strength when he sat her down in the carriage. She turned her back on him coldly and remained mute, though it was plain enough to see that she was seething.

"Don't even think of jumping out. I'd hate to have to go through this whole debacle again, but I'd do it."

"I'm curious, my dear, he continued calmly. "What has brought on this sudden rage? I assume something happened at the party."

Rhett saw how her green eyes flashed, and he prepared himself for a rebuke that never came.

"Ah yes, silence. I suppose there's a first for everything, though I never truly believed this day would come. Perhaps I should take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity."

From the corner of his eye he saw how she shifted in her seat and bit her lip. It was only a matter of time before she spoke, so he decided to wait it out. There was a certain danger looming in the silence that lay between them, much like the eerie lull before ominous clouds paint the sky with a heavy black and release a tumultuous rainfall during a ferocious storm.

"I don't see why you're so upset that I left," Scarlett finally muttered, breaking the fragile silence. "I thought you'd be happy to have me off your hands to do as you please. I'm sure your mistress misses you. I wonder how longs it's been since you've seen her, but I guess it would have been difficult to sneak off when you've had to sleep in my bed for the past two months. I'm certain you're glad to know that you can return to your old bedroom. To think of all the torturous hours you've had to spend in my company. You must feel relieved that—"

"Who told you?" he interrupted forcefully.

"No one told me."

"Yes, I'm sure you came up with this all on your own. Now tell me who told you! Ashley?"

"No. You made sure of that, didn't you?" she answered with unmistakable venom as she turned hard green eyes on him. "I'm sure you would have liked it if he had. It would have given you another reason to hate him, wouldn't it? You might as well tell me the truth I already know everything else. I don't see why it even matters who told me."

"Tell me!" he ordered.

"I overheard India Wilkes and a group of other ladies speaking."

"I'll wring her neck," he muttered murderously as the thinly veiled ire made its way to the surface. "You didn't think you owed me the chance to explain myself?"

"Do you deny it?"

"You wouldn't care if I did or didn't. You never even gave me the opportunity to deny it. It makes me believe you're happy with this sudden revelation. It warms my heart to know how much faith you have in me, my dear."

"Oh! I hate you, I hate you I do!" she cried as she jumped down from the carriage in front of their mansion. "How long did you really think you could keep this hidden from me? Did you think I would never find out? Well, I've known all along that you've been keeping something from me, and now I know what it is."

"And what exactly is it that you think you know?"

"What do you mean? I know about your whore!"

"Ah yes, well you mean whores. There were several."

For a moment Scarlett couldn't breathe. It felt like the wind had been sucked dry from her lungs, and for a sickening instant, she thought she might do the unthinkable and faint.

"You mean to brag to me about—that?" she choked.

"But Mrs. Butler, I'm only giving you the truth. Isn't that what you've been seeking?"

"Go! Go on to your whores!" Scarlett shouted with a renewed bout of strength. "See if I give a damn Rhett Butler because I don't."

"Indeed? That must be why you are shouting in the middle of the street," Rhett added mockingly.

She flounced off in a rush of consuming rage and slammed the front door behind her. In hopes of getting to her bedroom in time to lock the door on Rhett, Scarlett hurried up the steps, but he wasn't far behind. He had his foot in the entrance before she even had the time to reach for the door, making it impossible for her to hide herself away.

"Where do you think you're going? This conversation isn't over."

"Isn't it? What's there left to talk about? I understand everything perfectly now," she answered coolly.

"Indeed? Please enlighten me."

"I always found it strange that you kept me at distance. You never once told me you loved me until I confessed to caring for you. I used to believe it was because you couldn't love me since I—well I couldn't remember our life together, but I never thought it was because you never loved me. It must have been difficult to play the loving husband. Well, I don't need your pity anymore, so you can stop pretending and return to your bedroom."

"You believe it was a lie when I told you I cared for you?"

"Hasn't everything been? Strange isn't it? After all the times you've admonished me for keeping things from you, I discover everything you've ever said has been a lie."

"And this is coming from the woman who professed to loving me? How little you must think of me. It's a wonder you could claim to care for me when you've discarded me with such ease."

"I don't love you."

Rhett's dark eyes glittered dangerously, but his face remained an immovable mask. "Don't you? How fickle. You made a good imitation of it up until tonight, but perhaps I haven't given your performance skills enough credit."

"I could say the same about you, couldn't I? The man I thought I loved doesn't even exist," Scarlett answered with just as much acid.

Something snapped within him, and a fierce savagery was unleashed. For the first time Scarlett grew frightened by the queer light in his eyes as he approached her, by the way the blank canvas of his face darkened with a visible wrath, and she wished he would go back to being the emotionless man she'd grown accustomed to.

"You little fool," he said roughly as he pinned her shoulders to the wall. "You know nothing. You want to know the truth? You want to know why I slept across the hall, why I bedded whores, why I've kept you at a distance and why I wouldn't touch you? Because you'd banished me from your room. The thought of having another child with a blackguard like me was too much for your refined tastes," he laughed shortly. "No, you and your precious Ashley thought it would be best if we no longer shared a bed, and so I left you your chaste bed and found solace elsewhere. You weren't expecting that were you, my pet? How does it feel knowing that you—"

"Stop it! Please stop."

"What? Isn't this what you wanted; the truth?"

"Stop! I won't listen," she shouted in protest while pushing at his chest.

"Yes, you will listen. You wanted the truth and now I'm giving it to you. You want to know how we met? It was during the Wilkes' barbeque when you were rebuffed after confessing a deep and undying love for Ashley. Certainly you know how that turned out. Not very well for you I'm afraid. Of course you kept an obstinate torch lit for a man who not only rejected you and married another woman but also never felt anything more for you than any man might feel for a common whore, something I undoubtedly have intimate knowledge of as you well know now."

"Stop it!" she cried out as her throat tightened with a buildup of unreleased tears.

"And this where we ended up dear wife, with you mooning after a childhood fantasy while I chased after women of ill-repute, both sleeping in separate bedrooms and pretending that what we have between us is a marriage. So you may want to paint me out to be the villain, the coarse man who couldn't stay faithful to his wife, but the dissolution of our marriage does not rest in my hands. You and your indomitable need to chase after the moon is what destroyed any hope we might have had for—"

"Get out!"

Dropping his hands from her shoulders, Rhett watched as Scarlett buried her face in her hands in hopes of rubbing away a throbbing headache. The acceleration of her heartbeat dwindled as her breathing slowed to its regular pace.

"The truth is not always glamorous as you imagined it to be, is it?"

"I wish I'd never laid eyes on you," she threw at him coldly as she met his gaze. "I wish you never let me believe you cared something for me. I wish—oh! What was the point in lying? Were you trying to punish me for making a fool of you, deciding that this was the perfect opportunity to humiliate me? Well congratulations, you've done an excellent job. You should be proud; really you should because I don't think I could feel like a bigger fool. That's what you wanted isn't it? Well, there, I've said it. Now get out! I want to be alone."

"Do you honestly think I went through all the trouble of keeping things from you because I wanted to hurt you? I wanted to give our lives together another chance. I thought you might come to love me if you didn't have Ashley consuming your mind. I thought there was a hope that we might be happy. Haven't you been happy up until tonight?" Rhett asked, his voice a smooth velvet. "I never wanted you to find out like this Scarlett. I never wanted you to find out at all."

When he saw how her blazing green eyes brimmed over with tears, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest.

"Don't cry darling," he murmured softly, and she was comforted by the soothing tone of his voice and the warm arms wrapped around her.

For a moment she could almost forget that this horrible mess ever happened, that this man who held her tightly loved her, but he didn't and he never had.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Scarlett whispered brokenly before tearing herself from his arms. "Get out."

"No, I won't let you throw me out. Not again."

"Fine," she snapped. "Then I'll leave. I don't want to spend another second under the same roof as you."

"Indeed? And where will you go?"

"Why should you care?"

Scarlett rushed out of the room with the full intention of leaving, but as she made her way down the long staircase she realized that there was nowhere to run. The only one she wanted to turn to was the same man she was trying to escape, and for the first time since that fateful day she woke up without her memory, a complete and utter loneliness washed over her in one overshadowing wave. Seeing the dining room at her right, she walked over and lit a candle before taking a seat. Scarlett watched as the glow of the flickering flames of the candlelight bounced off the glass decanter that faced her on the silver tray, and she wondered why the soothing brown liquid was beckoning her to pour herself a glass.

"I see you haven't left," Rhett said smoothly from the hallway, breaking her train of thought.

"I had nowhere to go," she answered plainly then laughed lightly when she looked over at him. "What are you doing down here? Off to see your mistress?"

Moving over to her side, Rhett placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she turned her face away. "Scarlett, do you really want to throw away everything we've built? Do these past two months mean nothing to you?"

"What am I throwing away? Seems to me I never had anything to begin with."

**TBC…Sorry this took so long. RL has been a little crazy lately. As for this chapter, all I can say is that a lot of you know me by now, so there's no reason to panic ;) But I'm pretty sure many of you saw this one coming. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry that some of you may have to reread the last chapter to remember where this left off. It really wasn't supposed to take this long to update. I do promise to update more regularly now though. **

**Merovia, it is now 5:30 am on May third, so I'm afraid you'll have to put your poking stick away for now ;-) Maybe next time. **

Rhett's eyes roamed over Scarlett's face, searching for the truth but only finding a desperate underlying pain that clouded her features.

"You don't mean that," he said softly.

"Don't I?" she bit back as her cold green eyes finally met his gaze. "I guess you can't read me as well as you thought."

Rhett's jaw tightened at her words, his eyes turning a dangerous black as he removed his hand from her shoulder and shoved two angry fists in his trouser pockets.

"What would like me to do? Apologize for something neither of us can change?"

"You're not even the least bit sorry are you? You don't even think you did anything wrong. You lied to me. For months you lied to me and let me believe you cared something. I suppose you'd still be lying if I hadn't found out, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. I'm not sorry for lying Scarlett, I'm only sorry you found out the way you did."

"Because it got you what you wanted? What is it that you wanted exactly?"

"You," he stated simply as he knelt down to capture her two soft hands in his warm grip.

For the first time, Scarlett looked into his dark orbs and didn't see the obscuring mask he so often hid behind. She could feel her guard slowly melting away under his mesmerizing scrutiny, and she fought with the urge to cede to his magnetic pull. Snatching her hands away from his strong grasp, she averted her eyes, breaking his momentary hold.

"No. Stop lying to me. You only wanted to win, to hurt me because I hurt you."

"Believe what you like Scarlett, but I wanted to give our marriage another chance. Now you may decide that what I've done is unforgivable, but there isn't anything either of us can do to change what's happened in the past. Is it really worth hating me for choosing to lie to protect you, to protect the fragile chance we had?"

"You weren't protecting me you were protecting yourself. As it is I don't even know why you'd want to be with me if I'm so horrible, if I'm the one to blame for ruining our marriage," Scarlett replied in an angry rush. "You know what I still don't understand is why you married me at all. Did you know I was still in love with Ashley or did I trick you into marrying me?"

Running a hand through his hair, Rhett stood to his full height before turning his back to her. If there was one question he hoped she would not ask, it was this one because it meant he would have to admit to being partly responsible for the state of their marriage, and that was a hard enough thing for him to accept, let alone to concede to Scarlett.

"I thought I could make you forget him," he muttered reluctantly.

"Oh, so you knew all along and you still blame me for everything! It's not my fault I was in love with someone else. It's not my fault you couldn't make me forget him. You can't blame me for that."

"We had an agreement, and when you banned me from your room you broke it. For that, yes, I hold you responsible."

"And it's also my fault you went charging off to whores isn't it? What was her name again?"

"Scarlett don't—"

"What?" she asked with feigned innocence as she stood from her seat. "Is this discussion making you uncomfortable? I don't know why it would. You had an easy enough time talking about it before."

"What do you want? Would you like me to leave our room? Is that what you really want because I don't want a woman who doesn't want me. I've gone on long enough hoping you'd forget your childish infatuation and realize that I was the only one who could make you happy, and I'm not about to waste my time with false hope again. You can choose to continue hating me or you can choose to move on and forget this ever happened. What do you want?"

"I don't know," mumbled Scarlett, her voice tinged with fatigue. If there was one thing she wanted it was for this situation to disappear, to wake up tomorrow and find that everything had been some sort of terrible dream.

There was a sudden stillness that came over the room, and as Rhett watched the emotions play out on her face, a stab of guilt plagued him. It was hard to accept that he played a part in the ghostly pallor of her face and the tear-stained tracks down the curves of cheeks. He wished he could kiss it all away, but he realized it wouldn't be that simple.

"You've had a long day. You should go to bed. I'll sleep across the hall."

"In your bedroom?" she commented, unable to resist.

"I haven't thought of it as mine recently."

"Is that where you want to sleep?"

"No."

"Then don't. I won't be the one who shuts you out of the room again. I won't give you something else to blame me for. The bed should be big enough for both of us."

Rhett made a move to brush a hand against her face, but Scarlett recoiled from his advance.

"No, don't touch me. This doesn't mean I forgive you."

A soft sigh escaped his lips, but he followed her wordlessly out of the dining room and up the long staircase to their bedroom. Deep down he was grateful that she hadn't gone for his offer to sleep across the hall since he didn't know if he could bear the sting of rejection once again, especially when he already had a taste of what it felt like to love Scarlett and have her love radiated back to him. It was easier to deny himself something he had never experienced, but the pain of losing her now would be beyond compare to when he had first been barred out of her room.

~R&S~

As they both lay wordlessly in their large bed, staring up at the ceiling in the pitch black that enveloped them, they couldn't have felt farther apart if they had been sleeping in separate rooms. Where once Scarlett slept with her head pillowed against Rhett's broad chest, his arm securely wrapped around her waist with the heat of his skin pressed against hers, warming her body, now she stayed hugged to the edge of the bed and could feel the coolness of the gap of empty sheets beside her. It might have been easier to surrender, to shift over to Rhett's side and pretend to forget, but her stubborn will would not bend. She couldn't forget, she couldn't live a lie, and she couldn't forgive, not yet, and somehow Scarlett realized that no matter how much she might wish this situation away, it would still be there waiting and haunting her in the morning until a decision was made.

When a small ray of sunlight peeked into the room after a few restless hours of sleep, her green eyes opened gradually, and she could hear the soft rhythmic sound of Rhett's breathing which told her he was still asleep. Slithering quietly out of bed, Scarlett tiptoed to her closet and pulled out a handful of dresses to pack into two travel bags. She knew there was no way she could face him, not when he would be expecting her to forgive him and make a decision, let alone when his face still brought about a blend of anguish and a surge of ire. If there was any chance at forgiveness, she couldn't stay under the same roof as Rhett. After she had finished packing and hastily dressing, she slipped out of their room before he could realize she was gone, rushing down the stairs and out the front door, unseen and without a word to anyone.

~R&S~

Hurrying over to the front door at the sound of the soft raps, Melanie's face was overcome by unmistakable surprise when she saw Scarlett standing there holding a bag in each hand.

"Darling, what's the matter?" Melly asked urgently then opened the door widely so that Scarlett could enter.

"I need a place to stay."

"Why? What's happened?"

"Rhett he…he—I can't go home Melly, I can't. Please let me stay here. Just for a little while," she pleaded, and there was almost a hysterical note to her voice.

"He hasn't hurt you—"

"No! Not like that anyway, he's…I know about everything. I know about his mistress. I know about the separate bedrooms. I know everything, and you don't need to pretend anymore."

"Where did you hear all that? You know that's idle gossip, dear. Surely you don't believe it."

"Oh, don't be a fool Melly everyone knows! I was the only stupid fool who didn't know."

"But Captain Butler loves you. He wouldn't—"

"He doesn't love me!" she cried out in frustration. "How can you defend him? I thought you were my friend Melanie Wilkes."

Throwing her arms around Scarlett's waist in a fierce hug, Melly replied, "Oh, of course I am! You know I am."

Before Scarlett could come back with a retort, Ashley, having heard everything, stepped into the room and surprised both women. He greeted Scarlett politely, even though his discomfort was clearly evident, but a deep-rooted curiosity had won over any lingering embarrassment. If there was any trouble in the Butler marriage, he wanted to know about it and discover if he were somehow implicated in the matter.

"Darling you sit down and I'll make us some tea," Melanie insisted gently as she unwound her arms from her sister's waist and then went to get the tea.

Reluctantly, Scarlett took a seat, regretting the decision to come to Melly so early in morning before Ashley had the time to leave for the mills. Glancing quickly in his direction she saw the anxiety in his features and the way he could hardly meet her gaze. _Spineless coward_, she thought contemptuously.

"You needn't look so worried. I know the truth now," Scarlett finally said.

Ashley's face loss what bit of color it had left, and he asked, "Everything?"

"Do you mean to ask if I know I locked my husband out of our room because I was in love with you? Yes. I know."

"Scarlett—"

"No I don't want to hear what you have to say, all I want to know is if we…did we—"

"No!" he interrupted quickly as soon as he understood what she was insinuating. "I would never—"

"What do you mean you would never? Are you trying to imply that I would—"

"No that's not what I meant. Neither of us would have betrayed Melanie that way. We're only friends Scarlett. We have been for a long time."

Crossing her arms in irritation, she tartly replied, "Fine friend you turned out to be. I asked you for one thing and you refused to give it to me."

"It wasn't my place."

"Oh! You think I'm a fool don't you. You're a coward. I don't know what Rhett said to you but he said something that scared you well enough."

"I will say this. You are better off without him. I hate to see all he's done to you. How he's hurt you, how he's lied. I believe you were right in leaving."

"Do you?" she said with a laugh. "I wonder why that is. Is it true what Rhett said? Did you really play a part in this mess?"

He shrunk back as the superficial bout of courage withered away. "Scarlett, I—"

"Never mind. It doesn't really matter anymore does it? You know Ashley, I don't think we should be working together, and until I've decided what to do, you won't be seeing me at the mills."

"Is that really necessary?"

"I believe it is. This isn't about Rhett if that's what you're thinking. I make my own decisions."

"If that's what you wish."

"It is. I would also appreciate it if you'd stop acting so frightened around me. I know Rhett's noticed and I'm sure Melanie's not blind to it either."

"I'll try my best Scarlett," he said meekly.

"Don't try, do it. I can't be that hard. There isn't anything for you to worry about anymore."

Melanie walked back into the room with a tea tray in hand before Ashley had the chance to respond. Upon seeing his wife, he made his excuses and hastily exited the room, happy to escape Scarlett's presence, and she was just as grateful for his departure.

"Now darling we'll talk this all over," Melly said kindly as she set down the tray, and the sweetness in her voice grated on Scarlett's nerves. "You must know how Captain Butler cares for you. I'm sure this all a misunderstanding."

"Would you stop saying that! He doesn't care about me, he only cares about himself and I hate him. I want nothing to do with him."

"But you don't mean that. You're only upset. Once we talk this over you'll see— "

"I do mean it!" she cried, leaping to her feet in an all consuming spell of fury. "I mean every word and I don't want to talk about it. I'm tired of talking about it or thinking about it. I just want to know if you'll let me stay here for a little while. Will you?"

"Does anyone know where you are?"

"No. I don't see why that matters."

"Scarlett, you can't run away from your problems. You need to speak with Captain Butler. Even if I did let you stay, I wouldn't be helping you."

"Is that a no Melanie Wilkes? If it is I'll go to a hotel, I swear I will."

"You need to understand dear, if you—"

"No you need to understand. You don't know how it feels to find out you've been lied to for months, to discover that your husband's been sleeping in another room and has had a mistress for most of your marriage. I wonder how many people must have known the truth all along, laughing at me behind my back."

"Oh of course not. Nobody was laughing at you."

"Or maybe some only felt sorry for me because I was such a blind, stupid fool. Well I don't want their pity. I don't need them. I don't need anyone. And if you don't want to help me that's fine, I don't need you either," she said icily, her voice quivering with righteous rage before she stormed out of the room.

"Scarlett, please don't leave," Melanie begged urgently as she hurried after her, but all she received in response was the harsh bang of a slamming door.

~R&S~

It didn't take Rhett long to find out where she had gone, especially when the first place he had searched was Melanie's, and when Scarlett heard knocking and opened the door to find her husband standing there, she wasn't all that surprised. Although she had hoped he would leave her alone, she didn't full heartedly expect him to be pleased that she had left without telling him.

"What do you want, Rhett? I don't want to see you."

"Yes, I assumed when I found you'd gone without a word to anyone. You know, I never thought I'd have to go searching for my wife at hotel."

"And I never thought I'd have to shut the door in my husband's face, but you did and I am," she replied coolly then went to close the door, but his large hand came up swiftly to hold it open.

"Not so fast Scarlett. I believe we need to talk," he said as he effortlessly brushed passed her into the room.

"What are you even doing here? Did you get lost on the way to your mistress' room? No wait I'm sorry I forgot. She lives at a whore house. My mistake."

"Still angry I see. Would you like to throw something? That usually makes you feel much better."

"Would you stand still?"

Rhett couldn't help but let out a low chuckle. "Would that make you feel better?"

"Only a little. I do have a better idea. Why don't I throw you out? Now that would make me feel loads better," Scarlett said with a smile but her eyes were a stormy green. "I don't want you here, now get out."

"No, but you are stuck with me just the same."

"How did you find out where I was?"

"Oh, no trouble really. I have my ways."

"How long did it take Melly to run to tell you? She was probably out the door the moment I left her house."

"I went to her. She told me what happened, Scarlett. You shouldn't be upset with her. She loves you."

A bitter laugh escaped her lips as she replied, "Funny, she said the same thing about you. Are you both working together, or is there something else I don't know about?"

"I will answer that with the silence it deserves."

"Why don't you just leave, Rhett. If you had any decency you would have realized that I don't want you here and you would have stayed away."

"I've never claimed to having any decency as you so put it, and while we're on the subject you might take the time to realize that your leaving without telling a single soul was less than decent," he said smoothly without a note of real emotion. "May I sit down?"

"No."

Ignoring her retort, Rhett took a seat in a small armchair by the window, much to Scarlett's incredulity.

"Why do you even ask if you're just going to do what you want?"

"I was being courteous. Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked with a sly grin.

"No. What I want is for you to leave."

"Unfortunately that cannot be arranged. Ask for something else."

Vituperative words rushed to her lips, but she bit them back as something else came to mind. Turning her back to Rhett, Scarlett said, "Fine then. What about a divorce?"


	13. Chapter 13

Rhett's eyes suddenly glittered with a fierce darkness at her mention of a divorce, any lingering amusement receding from his face as he slowly stood from his seat. He wanted to shake her until she saw sense, until she realized that happiness was just within her grasp and she throwing it away without even a second thought like their marriage was something trifle and meaningless that could be carelessly discarded. For an agonizing moment, he considered the possibility that everything she had felt until now had been a hoax, that she cared very little for him and their children, which would explain why she had been so quick to doubt his own feelings, but he swiftly rejected this possibility. Scarlett was not a woman who could hide her true thoughts and emotions. Her face was unmistakably transparent, and that face now reflected irrefutable rage.

Treading softly to her side, Rhett said, "You shouldn't say things you aren't willing to follow through with, my dear."

Abruptly, Scarlett turned to face him in a fury, staring him dead in the eyes. "Who says that I'm not?"

His hands moved to her shoulders in a forceful grip. "You're playing a dangerous game, Scarlett. I strongly suggest you end it now."

"_You _suggest I end it now? Maybe it's not a game, did you ever think of that Rhett Butler? Maybe I would be better off without you. Maybe I do want you gone," she challenged, feeling a surge of triumph when his face contorted slightly with a mixture of wrath and pain as if she had finally pricked him.

"Don't lie to me," he warned emphatically, his patience steadily reaching its breaking point.

"So what if it is a lie. It wiped that smirk off your face didn't it?" she said sharply then pushed at his chest, urging him to release her shoulders.

He laughed shortly at her attempt but remained immovable.

"So this was all an effort to wound me? I suppose you didn't feel that leaving so I would wake to find you gone was sufficient?"

"Can I even hurt you, Rhett? I don't see how I could, least of all by leaving you to find I wasn't in your bed. I thought you would surely be used to that by now."

"Damn it Scarlett, stop it. Do you hear me? Stop it," Rhett demanded in a low ominous voice as he shook her slightly then pinned her to the wall. He could feel their newly established happiness slipping through his fingers, but he fought against the compulsion to flee, to save himself from falling before everything could crumble to pieces at his feet. This time it was different. This time hope was just within reach, and he was not one to watch an opportunity go idly by.

Seeing how he towered over her, Scarlett shrunk back and swallowed visibly, feeling suddenly small. Although there was a part of her that was frightened of what he might do next and wanted to escape from the dark orbs that bored into hers with a sheer intensity that could have locked her in place with one look alone, she still never looked away. There was something thrilling in bringing about a reaction in the customarily imperturbable Rhett Butler. Something that made her blood rush and heart race in anticipation, and there was nothing she wanted more now than to satisfy a sparked urge to test him, even if that meant encountering an unleashed rage. Just to know he felt something, anything.

"I can't stop. You did this to me. You hurt me, and now when I want to forget, when I would do anything to make this go away, I can't. I trusted you and you broke it. I can't even look at you anymore because every time I do, I see the back of another woman's head."

"Tell me my dear, what do you think would hurt more? Learning I've bedded whores after you shunned me from your bed or knowing I've been in love with someone else throughout our marriage?"

Her green eyes grew wide with surprise, his words smothering any prepared retort. "That's not fair and you know it."

"Isn't it? I believe it's entirely fair. You loved him while I was the one who provided for you, who showered you with anything you desired, the one who soothed away your fears when you woke screaming in the middle of the night. I was the one who was always there for you Scarlett, not him. And how did you repay me? You brought your woodenheaded gentleman into our bed then turned me out because the idea of having anymore of my children was too much for you to bear. You loved him when you had no reason to, and I was reminded of it every time I looked at you, every time I held you in my arms. A merry hell we were living and I'm not likely to forget anytime soon."

"But that was before! I didn't know. You never told me."

"Indeed? And Belle was before you lost your memory as well."

"Don't you dare say her name to me!" she shouted vehemently, taking Rhett by surprise with her blind rage. "Get out! Do you understand me? Get out!"

He held on tightly as she twisted and struggled to break free, pummeling at his chest like a small fury, but his hands remained like iron digging into the flesh of her upper arms, locking her in place.

"Darling, please," he begged softly, trying to soothe her, but Scarlett was relentless in her attack.

"Don't call me that! Let me go, I hate you!"

"Dar—Scarlett, do stop struggling. I only wanted to have a frank discussion."

"No. You only want to blame me. I won't hear it," she bit back indignantly, but then she unexpectedly stopped thrashing against his hold as a throbbing pain seized her mind and pushed against her temples. The hot rush of blood that usually ran rapid when her temper flared gradually cooled, and her breathing slowed to its regular pace. "You can let me go now," she said calmly as her hands flew to the sides of her head in hopes of rubbing away an awful headache.

Releasing Scarlett from his tight grip, Rhett took a step back, observing her with a quizzical eye as she regained composure.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked with concern, making a move to touch her, but she recoiled from his advance.

"Nothing's wrong. Would you stop staring at me like that? I'm fine, it's only a headache. I've had worse."

"You've had worse? How long have you been having them?"

"I don't know. Does it matter? Don't pretend like you care."

"Stubborn woman," he muttered and she glared back. "Has anything changed recently? Have you been able to recall something?'

"What are you a doctor now, Rhett? Leave me alone."

"Ah, so you have remembered something. I don't suppose you thought it might be appropriate to tell your husband?"

"I don't suppose you thought it appropriate to tell your wife you bed whores and sleep across the hall!"

With a heavy sigh, he ran a quick frustrated hand through his hair. "How long are you going to punish me for that, Scarlett?"

"I don't know…until you feel sorry I imagine."

"Yes I may have lied, I may have hidden things from you, but I cannot be sorry for that. If I had it all to do over again, I would do no differently." If he had any real courage, the courage to expose a deep vulnerability he so often tried to numb or mask, he might have divulged the whole truth behind his actions. That after hoping for so long that Ashley would recede from her mind, he was gone at last, truly gone, allowing them a chance at happiness when all his hope had dwindled. That for two months he had her, finally had her, body, mind and soul after years of pining. That it was nearly impossible to let something like that slip away. An opportunity wasted. That her memory loss had been both a blessed gift and a gnawing curse but that there was never much doubt in his mind about what he had to do. Without lying, he may have never gained her love, and that he could not regret, would not regret.

"How could expect me to be sorry for the decision I made?" he asked. "What would you have done in my place?"

"I would have told you the truth," she said smugly.

"Rather easier said than done isn't it, my pet? How do you think that conversation would have gone? Should I have told you all about your obsession for your beloved Ashley? How you—"

"Stop blaming me for that! I didn't know!"

"Maybe you should have known," he shot back instinctually. The wound of being banished from her bedroom was still raw, and he blamed her for it, feeling she should have known how it would cut him even if she had never noticed that he loved her. Although it was hard not to blame her, he realized that it amounted to nothing to tell her this, to hold her responsible for something she had no recollection of, for something that happened in the past.

"I apologize. No, I don't blame you, not now. How can I?" Rhett continued, almost speaking more to himself than to Scarlett, then he paused for a moment. "If I can forget all that has happened, don't you think you could forgive me for lying, for finding out the way you did?"

"But…you aren't sorry, and it's more than that, it's— I can't…I don't know how. Please, I don't want to discuss this anymore. I want to be alone," she said, struggling to cling to anger as she felt her resolve slowly weakening against his smooth words.

For a moment, Rhett wondered if he had ruined everything, but his face remained blank, devoid of all emotion. "Will you at least tell me what you've remembered?"

"Why, are you worried?" Scarlett replied with a hint of sarcasm, hoping to regain her footing.

"I am. About you."

"I don't know if I believe you. How do I know you aren't just worried I'll learn something else you've been hiding from me?"

"You don't. You'll just have to trust me."

"I don't."

"Then it's fortunate this bed has room enough for two because I'm not leaving until you tell me," he said with a sly grin then moved towards the bed and took a deliberate seat.

"Don't you dare sit down Rhett Butler, you aren't staying here!"

"Well of course that's up to you, my dear. Did I ever tell you I preferred the amenities that come with living in a well-regulated hotel to owning my own house? I believe I'll feel right at home here."

"Do stop joking," Scarlett huffed with a hand on her hip. "Get up then get out."

"I'm entirely serious. The only reason I ever bought property and built a house was because of you and the children. If I'd known your fondness for hotel rooms I might have saved quite a bit of money, not to mention my own peace of mind. It was none too pleasant knowing I was building you an architectural horror."

"If you think this is going to work, it won't. I won't forgive you simply because you've suddenly decided to tell me things."

"Scarlett, I'm appalled. My motives are more than pure. Now, what do you think we should have for supper tonight?"

"You are not staying here," she shouted and stomped an angry foot in agitation.

"If you honestly wanted to be rid of me, you would tell me what I want to know."

"Why does it even matter to you what I've remembered?"

Impatiently, Rhett stood from the bed and strode over to her, tilting her chin and forcing Scarlett to meet his gaze. "Because, if you'd only get it through your stubborn mind, I care for you."

"Care?"

"Were you hoping for something else?"

"No," Scarlett lied, averting her green eyes that threatened to betray her. What she really wanted to hear was that he loved her. That everything he had said or done until now was not done out of obligation, that everything was not a lie. Although she could not accuse him of seeing his mistress during the evenings, she did not know, maybe would never know, if he ever snuck away to his mistress during the day, and a part of her doubted his loyalty.

"Is it possible that you might not want to be rid of me after all?"

"Fine!" she snapped, afraid of what might happen if he stayed any longer. "I'll tell you, though the memories aren't exactly clear. I'm not even sure if they are memories, maybe they are just dreams or…I don't know. I don't like thinking about it."

"Will you tell me about it?"

"Well…from what I can remember… I was outside, somewhere I didn't really recognize, but I think we were in the woods. It was terribly dark out, but the sky had bits of red streaks. It reminded me of fire and smoke, and I was so frightened. You told me you were leaving me and I could see you walking away, I could hear the sound of your feet as it slowly faded in the distance. I was in the middle of the damn woods and you were leaving me! I think that's when I started calling your name, but you wouldn't turn around. You just left me there," she finished, her voice cracking at the end. "I don't remember the rest. You must have woken me after that."

"So this was your nightmare the other night? Is that all you can remember?"

"I don't know," she began uncertainly, trying to recall the murky details. "I don't think I was alone. There was a horse and a wagon… and people calling my name. They wanted me to do something but I didn't know what to do I…I wanted my mother." Tears brimmed her emerald eyes, blurring her vision as bits and pieces of certain memories came to her, and then she looked up at Rhett. "This wasn't just a dream, was it? Was this real? Tell me!"

"It was real," he muttered unwillingly. "It was the night we fled Atlanta when you were stubbornly hell-bent on going home to Tara."

"And you just left me there in the middle of nowhere where anything might have happened! Why?"

"I went to join the army. It's not an easy thing to explain—Darling why are you crying?" he asked abruptly, pulling her into his comforting embrace when he saw how her body shook with the release of tears she would have preferred to hold back.

"I was all alone. There was nobody to help me Rhett, no one. And when I finally got home she wasn't…she wasn't there," Scarlett mumbled between broken sobs and quick intakes of air, the words coming out muffled as she buried her face against his firm chest. "She was already gone."

A gnawing anguish came with the memory of finding that her mother had died the day before she would reach her, an anguish that she then could not allow herself to feel wholly. But now she felt it, felt it like she were reliving that moment, felt it like a terrible unwelcome blow to the stomach that left her winded and gasping for air.

Clinging to his shirtfront, she murmured, "I don't want to remember, Rhett. Please. Make it go away. I don't want to remember."

"I'm so sorry, Scarlett," he whispered into her hair while running a soothing hand up and down the length of her back, wishing he could ease her pain and carry the burden for her. "Don't cry honey. You're not alone anymore. You're safe now."

There was a calming stillness that seized her body in being wrapped in his strong arms and hearing the tenderness in his voice as he spoke those reassuring words, and the crying slowly subsided until it ceased altogether. Feeling foolish for having broken down like a silly child, Scarlett stepped out of Rhett's embrace and averted her eyes, afraid of seeing pity in his. It was humiliating enough to cry in front of someone let alone Rhett, especially now when he was the last one she wanted to appear vulnerable to. A dampness lingered on her cheeks, and she swiftly rubbed it away in hopes of also wiping away any trace of her sudden weakness.

"I think you should leave. I want to be alone."

"I have a hard time believing that," he observed as his eyes roamed over her pale tear-stained face. "Come home Scarlett, or at least let me stay here with you."

"I can't. Please don't make me ask you again."

"Were you happy these past few months? Tell me now if you weren't because I'll gladly never bother you again."

"I was happy. I'm not the one who's good at lying Rhett, you've told me so yourself. I don't know if it was real, but I was happy. Were you?"

"You know I was."

"I don't know that! I don't know anything anymore, and I can't think with you here."

"You needn't ask me again. I'm leaving," he said roughly, heading for the entrance in swift heated strides.

As Scarlett watched him open the door, a pang of guilt stabbed her heart. It would be the first night without him in her bed, and once again, she was the one who was forcing him to leave. There was a fleeting instant where she wanted to let him take her home, to forgive and forget, but ire and pride was stronger than a twinge of guilt. It was not only sweet revenge that brought her to a hotel, it was the need for space and time to think, and while being apart from Rhett still hurt, being in the same room with him now was just as painful.

"Do you remember when you told me you'd always be there when I woke up?" she remarked before he could close the door. "You promised me. I guess that was a lie as well."

"I'm not the one who's choosing to break that promise. It was never meant to be a lie."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. I didn't choose this."

"You made the decision to run off. That was a choice," he said bitterly then closed the door behind him with a harsh bang, resenting the fact she had asked him to leave.

Although the only real desire Rhett had now was to go home and pour himself a stiff drink, there was still one person he had to see before he could do so, someone he held partly responsible for the sudden breakdown in his and Scarlett's relationship, and that was India Wilkes. Unfortunately, he would have preferred to deal once again with her skittish brother, but one cannot always choose these things.

**I apologize for taking so long to update, especially since I left it at a cliffie! I will make it up to you soon. Also, the chapters should be getting 'lighter' from here on out. This one was supposed to go somewhere, or at least move forward somewhat, but you'll have to blame the dialogue for that. I don't have much control over it ;-)**


	14. Chapter 14

As Rhett walked up the front porch steps at the Hamilton house, he wondered how many times he had walked up these very same steps. How many times he had knocked on the front door calling on Scarlett and Pittypat with a box of bonbons or other various trinkets meant to flatter and fluster, later charming his way into an invitation to dinner. Despite the ongoing war, those had been happier times, filled with hope and possibilities, and above all the lack of responsibility. Then his actions and the choices he had made only affected himself, and he had reveled in the selfishness of his reckless behavior. But now he had a family, a wife and three children, and they were affected by every decision he made. At times, they were like chains rooting him to the ground and holding back the adventurer inside that screamed to set free, but at other times, they were like blessings, giving him a place to call home, something he had never experienced before or even scarcely hoped to find. He loved his family, God how he loved them, but there was no denying that it was hard to smother a part of himself that had always existed, a part that desired to act out of self-interest and pounce on opportunities that presented themselves, no matter how selfish, no matter the consequences. He loved Scarlett and yearned for that love in return, so he lied, winning her unfairly but winning just the same which was all that mattered. Unfortunately, those unpleasant consequences were now surfacing, and he was paying for them dearly. However, Rhett would not allow the woman he held partially responsible for the sudden tumult in his personal life get off scot-free while he suffered.

Knocking brusquely at the door, he was greeted by India Wilkes who looked anything but pleased to find him standing at their entrance.

There was a pinched look to her face as she said, "Aunt Pittypat isn't at home, Captain Butler. You should call at another time."

"Good evening Miss Wilkes. I'm well aware of Miss Hamilton's whereabouts. She's not the reason I'm here. May I come in?"

"No. There isn't anyone else at home."

"Something else I'm well aware of, unfortunately given that this is partially my wife's home, you don't have much say in the matter," Rhett said matter-of-factly before brushing past her into the house.

"How dare you! Get out of here this instant."

"Do you enjoy living here Miss Wilkes? Wouldn't it be a shame if you were to, oh I don't know, suddenly have no place of residence?"

"Don't you dare threaten me," she spat. "What is this about?"

"Threaten? I don't recall threatening you. I merely made a simple observation. Why don't you take a seat," he continued, moving into the parlor carelessly as though he owned the place. "I believe we'll be here for a while."

"This is my home and I'll do as I please."

"That's still to be determined. Take a seat," he ordered in a rough commanding voice while his eyes bored into hers as cold as stone, and she took a seat on the settee, feeling unexpectedly frightened by this man's strange and ominous presence.

"What do you want from me?"

"Only a frank conversation. It has come to my knowledge that you have an insatiable need for gossip, or rather a need for spreading it."

"I don't know what you're referring to."

"No? Perhaps I should refresh your memory. You do recall the delightful event of your brother's birthday party?"

"What of it?" she asked coolly but shifted nervously on the couch, uncertain as to where this conversation was headed.

"It appears as though you felt the desire to gather a group of women to discuss my virtues, something my wife was fortunate enough to overhear."

India let out a quick laugh of wicked triumph. "Did she? Well then you both got what you deserve."

"I wouldn't laugh so fast Miss Wilkes. Do you believe in retribution?"

"You cannot hold me responsible for what she overheard."

"Oh I can do more than hold you responsible. If you hadn't been spewing the acidic words of a bitter old maid, then we wouldn't be in this mess."

"I only spoke the truth."

"And what truth was that exactly? The venomous sputtering of a jealous spinster? "

"Why don't you ask your wife Captain Butler? Or has she moved you back into your old bedroom?"

"It must be a lonely life you lead Miss Wilkes, resenting Scarlett for everything she has and all that you'll never come close to achieving. Does it still cut you to know your former beau preferred her to you, that even your own cousin and sister-in-law holds her in higher esteem?"

Anger flared and India lashed back. "Does it cut you to know your wife is still running after my brother Ashley?"

It took everything for Rhett to remain cool and to curb the desire to strike this fool of a woman for being an idiot, but instead he sent her a sharp menacing look then let out a mocking laugh as he stood and loomed over her.

"I don't suggest you test my patience. I don't profess in clinging to honor like your estimable brother."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Only fools aren't afraid when fear is staring them straight in the eye. Then again, maybe you aren't a fool given that you are after all trembling," he added mockingly then laughed outright at her scowl.

"I do despise you," she hissed, though there was slight quiver in her voice that could not be masked. The thought that perhaps Captain Butler was not someone to be messing with crossed her mind. There was no telling what the man was capable of since he was a reprobate, the type of man she was not accustomed to going up against. "What do you want?"

"It's very simple. I want you to set your sights on another victim and leave Scarlett alone. That means cutting all forms of contact with my wife, verbal or otherwise. You will refrain from uttering your snide remarks and you will keep your opinions to yourself. You will make it your business to stay out of my wife's way. I don't even want to hear you gave her so much as sour sidelong glance. And if we are ever so lucky as to be forced to attend the same social event, you will make it so that we hardly realize you exist."

"Why should I? I don't owe you anything," India sneered, refusing to let someone else call the shots.

"No, only your brother's life, and if that means very little to you, I promise I can make your life exceedingly difficult for you. What do you think Mrs. Wilkes will say when she hears that the one person behind her very dear sister's sudden unhappiness is you? How long do you think it will take her to blackball you from society? You certainly had no qualms about meddling in our affairs, and my conscience won't prick me in the least from doing the same."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"Melly would never believe you."

"No? I don't believe you realize where Mrs. Wilkes loyalties lie. I wonder whom she would believe? The sister who is responsible for the birth of her son, her safe escape from Atlanta and refuge at Tara, or the woman who has made it no secret that she harbors a deep resentment towards her sister? I wouldn't take that gamble if I were you. You would not only find yourself homeless but friendless as well since there is no doubt in my mind who people would side with. And where would you go then? Back to your relatives in Macon? Either way I win Miss Wilkes," Rhett remarked with an impudent smirk that had India hating him more than she thought possible. "I recommend you learn the art of biting your tongue to save yourself the embarrassment because if I so much as hear that you've been spreading gossip about my family, I assure you that's the predicament you'll be finding yourself in."

"I'm not the only one you need to worry about Captain Butler. One way or another she will find out the truth, and you both will be just as miserable as you always were. You deserve each other."

"Don't cross me. You may think you despise me now, but I have yet to give you reason to. That could always change. The choice is yours," Rhett warned, meaning every word, before taking his leave without allowing her a chance to reply.

The words had been so stern and laced with menacing undercurrents that it made her skin crawl, and India could not have been more grateful at his departure, realizing that this man did not make idle threats.

~R&S~

Finding sleep that night had proven difficult for Scarlett not only because of her and Rhett's recent quarrel but also because of the unsettling loneliness that came with sleeping by herself in a large cold bed when one was used to a firm source of heat by their side and a broad chest to pillow their head against. There had been a few times early that night where she had drifted off into a light sleep, turning to her side and expecting to touch the warm skin of another only to wake suddenly and find that there was no one there. Alone, that's what she was, and there was nothing that told her she was alone more than lying in an empty bed, staring up at a ceiling that could hardly be seen in the still blackness of the room, a room so quiet one could hear the sound of the wind whistling against the glass of the window. Scarlett shifted restlessly underneath the sheets, beckoning sleep to take away reality and soothe her turbulent mind. It was true, this had been what she wanted, this solitude and quiet, a place to think without distractions, but above all, she had wanted to hurt him because he had hurt her. And hurt him she had, something that hadn't brought the perverse pleasure and satisfaction she had been expecting. It was a curse loving this man, this man who had made her love him under false pretenses, having her believe the life they had was a blissful one, only to have the rug pulled out from under her, to see the illusion cruelly crumble away. How was she to trust him again after he had told the perfect lie, a lie she had willingly believed but should have questioned more thoroughly? There was no doubt about her still loving him, she did, a love that was so consuming and frightening she wanted to hate him for it but couldn't. A love that forced her to acknowledge, even just to herself, that she could not go on living without him and their children. Forgiveness would come eventually, it had to, but Scarlett would not allow herself to go home yet, not until she had discovered more of the truth that could never be trusted with Rhett to provide. And with these thoughts on her mind and a decision made, a deep sleep finally greeted her grateful body.

~R&S~

As Scarlett rose that next morning, opening her eyes and rubbing away the drowsiness that still lingered, she was prepared to find that the only heart she would hear beating was her own, that there would be no breathing coming from the opposite side of the bed…Only that was not the case. Fear overwhelmed her body while her heartbeat raced anxiously, pounding thunderously against her chest, the blood rushing to her ears as she listened to the light snoring floating up from the floor. Grabbing her pillow as the only weapon readily available, she peered over the side of the bed, and with all her force, brought it down over the intruder's head in a hard whack, enraged, though somewhat thankful, to find her husband sleeping soundly on the floor.

In one quick jolt, Rhett was up and alert, staring straight into furious green eyes.

"Damn you Rhett Butler! What are you doing here?"

"Would you please stop shouting," he replied casually as he rubbed a lazy hand over his eyes, "I hardly had any sleep last night. The floor is surprisingly uncomfortable, though I won't deny I've slept on worse."

The pillow connected powerfully with his face again, not once but three consecutive times before he thought to rip the weapon out of his wife's hand to stop the violent abuse. A short laugh wanted to bubble from his lips, but after seeing the storm brewing in Scarlett's eyes, he thought better of it.

"What do you mean by breaking in to my hotel room? You knew I wanted to be alone!"

"For one thing my dear, I did not _break in_ to your hotel room. I had a key."

"How could you possibly get a key?"

"Oh, not much trouble really. The Butlers are well known in Atlanta, that's us my pet in case you've forgotten, and I don't believe there's anyone who doesn't know I'm your husband. It's only natural to assume we would be here together. Besides, the man at reception is a good friend of mine."

She reached for the other pillow to smack him once again then realized he was sleeping on it.

"I don't suppose I want to know how he became your _friend._"

"No. I don't suggest you ask me that."

"Get out!"

He laughed lightly. "Good God Scarlett, I hope you didn't think I was implying I brought – er – women to my hotel room."

"Then what are you implying?"

"I assure you, it's something you don't want to know."

"You seem to think you're still an expert on what I should know, and I think we are both aware that isn't true," she replied tartly with a furious glare.

"That's not what I meant. I did not come back to argue, Scarlett," he said casually though there was a tired tone to his voice, almost as if a sigh had slipped his notice and tinted his words.

"Why did you come back?"

"Because I knew you didn't want to be alone, as stubborn as you are to admit it."

"So you snuck back into my hotel room in the middle of the night and slept on the floor so I wouldn't know you were there? I might as well have been alone, Rhett. I thought I was. You're lying."

"If you would have woken in the middle of the night, having one of your nightmares, I would have been here. I know how it hurt you to remember your mother that way, Scarlett. I didn't want you to be alone. Now if you'd like to know why I slept on the floor, it's only because I would have hated to disturb your chaste bed. You need not worry. The next time I make an appearance in your bed, it will be when you ask me."

"Is that the only reason you're here?"

Ignoring the instinctive impulse to dance around the truth and obscure the vulnerable and often insecure inner workings of his mind, Rhett hesitantly replied, "Perhaps I also refused to break the promise I made you."

In that moment Scarlett could not have loved him more, but that love battled with hate, as it often did, a hate at finding herself so weak and easily unraveled at a few simple words. Rhett was the only one who could shatter her resolve then suddenly drive her to fight when she wanted to reconcile.

"I didn't want you here. I didn't come to a hotel so you could follow me here Rhett, I came to be alone. I want to be alone," she stubbornly emphasized.

"I don't see what difference it makes if I was here last night. You thought you were alone. It's what you wanted."

"Well I'm certainly not alone now am I! Give me back that pillow."

"No, I don't believe I will, not unless you promise not to use it as a weapon."

"I make no promises."

"Then I'm afraid to inform you that I will be keeping it."

"Give it to me," she insisted, reaching for it.

"That's no way to go about getting what you want my dear," he said while dodging her attempt to grab a hold of feather filled cushion.

"Damn you give it to me!" she shouted, lunging for the pillow once again then missing terribly and sliding off the bed to the carpeted floor on top of Rhett, taking him by surprise. Seizing this opportunity, her fingers curled around the edges of the cushion and tugged vigorously, but having the better reflexes, he gripped the pillow tightly before she had the chance to snatch it away. They both fought fiercely for the item as though it was something prize worthy, struggling with such force that their breathing quickened as small beads of sweat formed at their temples while they rolled around the floor like two children fighting over a favorite toy. It never occurred to either of them that there was another pillow available and now unguarded since they were both so engrossed in besting the other. Neither was willing to give up or ready to relinquish control until finally Scarlett was lying flat on her back with Rhett hovering over her, his face only a few inches above her own with a devilish grin accenting his features, and she burst into intoxicating giggles that had them both laughing and momentarily forgetting their recent war.

"I hate you," Scarlett muttered though a genuine smile was still playing at her lips.

"That certainly isn't the first time I've heard you say that," he said with a short chuckle then reached out to twist a lock of the raven hair that was spread wildly about her head around his finger.

"I wonder why that is."

The ice in her voice had him drop the strand of hair, and Scarlett stood, swiping the pillow before moving back over to the bed to lie down. Rhett watched quizzically from the floor, sitting up but making no move to stand or follow her to the bed.

Catching his stare, Scarlett offered softly, "You can come in the bed if you'd like, Rhett. I'm sure it's more comfortable than the floor… I'm asking."

"And here I thought you wanted me gone?"

"Oh I do, but asking you to leave hasn't been working."

He laughed lightly, grateful that a teasing tone had replaced the coolness in her voice, and he took a seat at the edge of the bed.

"You know Rhett, I am glad you came back last night," she continued.

"Why?"

"Because then I know you weren't somewhere else."

"Do you honestly believe I would do that to you?"

"Why not? You did before."

"Those were different circumstances."

"Why can't you say you made a mistake? Damn you, why can't you apologize? It can't be all that difficult to say, Rhett. "

"Would you prefer I lie?"

"Well you've certainly had practice at it, haven't you?"

"I won't go in circles again, Scarlett I won't," he said tersely, his patience beginning to thin even though he had promised himself to remain cool. It was frustrating not mention exhausting taking one step forward only to take two steps back an instant later. To think progress has been made then finding out that you were same place you had started from. "I'm sorry for the way you found out. You never deserved to hear what you did."

"So you're like a thief who isn't sorry he stole but who's terribly sorry he's going to jail?"

"Where did you hear that?" Rhett questioned sharply, his eyes suddenly alert with interest and a tinge of anxiety.

"A cad told me that once. I understand it better now. You didn't honestly propose to me at a funeral?"

"After a funeral. What else have you remembered?"

"Why did I think I killed my husband?" Scarlett responded swiftly, ignoring his question.

"Is that what you want to focus on now? Is that what you deem important? The past is gone and there isn't anything we can do to change it."

"Maybe you're right. You probably wouldn't tell me the truth, even if I asked for it." With heavy sigh, she looked away from Rhett and stared up at the plain white ceiling, wondering when it was that she had started to look forward to cutting him with her words, to feel the satisfaction of seeing the pain in his face with every biting remark. It was turning into a compulsion that was hard to break. "I don't want to argue either."

"You've certainly made a poor imitation of it."

"Well you don't make it very easy."

His hand crawled over to hers that lay limp by her side, covering the soft delicate alabaster skin with his own rough and swarthy flesh, giving her hand a gentle squeeze when she made no attempt to pull it away. "I want you to come home, Scarlett."

"Give me a reason."

"I haven't been to Belle's, not since you've lost your memory. Not once."

"I want to believe you… but I don't."

"If that's not enough, I love you. I've always loved you. Long before any of this ever happened," Rhett conceded, deciding that their relationship was well worth the possible loss of his pride. If she laughed in his face or decided that there was nothing left between them, at least he would know that he had tried. Regret lingered a lot longer than the sting of ridicule.

"Do you?" Scarlett asked in voice just above a whisper, finally forcing herself to meet that torturous hopeful gaze. "Then why didn't you say so before? You could have but you didn't."

"I doubt you were in the right mind to hear it. You didn't want to hear it."

"No, I needed to hear it, but you never said it. Not once."

"Should I have said it just to hear how you hated me in return? I'm sorry I did not leap at that opportunity."

"What makes you think I won't say I hate you now?"

Tenderly, he lifted a hand up to her face and caressed the soft curves of her cheek. "Because I know you won't."

"I want to come home Rhett, but I can't. Not yet."

"What do I have to say?"

_The truth, _she thought but did not say aloud. "There isn't anything you can say. I still don't know how to…forgive you. I need time."

"I'll promise you the days, but not the nights."

"If you want me home, you'll do as I ask. Please."

"All right, you win my dear," he said then lightly brushed a kiss across her forehead before removing himself from the bed.

"What?" she questioned incredulously. There wasn't a time she could remember winning anything against Rhett Butler, let alone having him concede without a real fight. "Where are you going?"

"I'm giving you time. Have you changed your mind?"

There was a grin playing at his lips and it took all her strength not to smile in return. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," he said with an infuriating wink then was gone before she could ask what exactly he had meant by that.

~R&S~

There were questions Scarlett still needed answers to, answers that were likely to shape her futures decisions, answers that could not be trusted to just anyone, least of all Rhett, and she waited until later that night to go about discovering at least a few of them. If there would be any hope for them to start again, she needed the truth, all of it, and from someone who would not feel pressed or obliged to lie.

The darkness cloaked her face as she walked down Decatur Street, grateful for the anonymity the night provided in case someone should pass by and recognize her. Unfortunately, the moment she reached then stepped into the lighted establishment, there was no longer any way to hide her identity or the flush that rose to her cheeks at the sheer embarrassment at finding herself in such a place. Her eyes scanned the room, and the gaudy décor caused revulsion to gnaw in the pit of her stomach, the furnishings baring a slight resemblance to the ones in her own home. There was an instant where Scarlett contemplated heading back to the security of the hotel room but then she immediately thought better of it. This was something she needed to do, and the only fear she would allow herself to feel was the fear of discovering her husband had once again been deceitful.

A young woman came up to her, the features of her face hidden by a heavy layer of powders and rouge, her lips painted a deep false red. "I think you're in the wrong place, miss."

"No. I'm looking for someone, Belle Watling. Could you show her to me?"


	15. Chapter 15

**How to excuse my lack of updates…well school has been more than crazy recently, and while I have been working on my stories, it seems I am progressing painfully slowly. I'd like to promise to update more frequently, but I don't know if that will be possible this semester. I'll try my best though :) A big thank you to CeeJay who found all my errors beforehand! **

A woman with a heavily painted face and a mass of flaming red curls slowly approached Scarlett with a look of amusement and interest on her face, and there was no doubt in her mind that this was the notorious Belle Watling. It was a strange feeling to put a face to the woman she hated with such venom for the past few days, a woman whose name she could scarcely say or hear spoken without rousing a deep rooted fury and jealousy. She was not at all how Scarlett had first imagined Rhett's mistress might look like, though she was still uncertain as to whether this was yet a good or bad thing. With a quick reassuring inhale of breath, she eased the knots of anxiety in the pit of her stomach and prepared herself for an awkward confrontation.

"Miz Butler. Never thought I'd see the likes of you in here," Belle drawled, keenly appraising her and wondering curiously what reasons she could possibly have for showing up at her place of business.

"The feeling's mutual, _Mrs_. Watling is it?"

"You really shouldn't be here. Go home to your husband."

"Why? To send him back here to you? I'm not going anywhere, not until you answer a few questions of mine," Scarlett answered in a steely voice, determined to leave only when she was equipped with answers.

There was a cold look of unmistakable disdain on the red-haired woman's face, a look that gradually turned into one of pity as she analyzed Scarlett's features.

"Don't look at me like that! I don't want your pity, I only need your answers," she shouted, gaining the attention of some of the many patrons along bar, not that her voice carried very well over the din of the orchestra and the chatter of inebriated clientele. "Is there somewhere private we could speak?"

"There's nothin' much I could tell you that you don't already know."

"There's plenty you could tell me. I know you don't owe me anything, but I'm hoping you could tell me the truth. I'll be willing to pay you for your time."

There was a short pause before Belle walked away and signaled for Scarlett to follow her up the stairs to the second floor, where the room was drenched with the smell of cheap perfume and crowded with prospective clients and their chosen companions, while the walls were adorned with mirrors in gilt frames and the windows were cloaked with heavy lace curtains. Trailing closely behind, she took in her surroundings while still trying to keep her head down in the unlikely event that someone should recognize her. Her eyes briefly scanned the room just in case Rhett might have done the unthinkable and come here without her knowledge. For one agonizing second her heart stopped when she thought she saw a familiar black head, but as the man shifted his position, she caught the sight of his profile and realized her mind was playing cruel tricks on her. Belle opened the door to what appeared to be an office, and Scarlett hurried inside, happy to escape the gaze of curious onlookers.

"What can I do for you Miz Butler?" Belle asked, not that there was even a hint of sincerity to her voice.

"You know what's happened to me, don't you? Why else would you look at me the way you did. Rhett's come here to see you, hasn't he? He told you about me losing my memory?"

Belle wavered, uncertain as how to reply. A part of her was undyingly loyal and the last thing she wanted was to disclose too much information and cause more problems for Rhett at home.

With a shrug, Belle said, "Your business ain't none of my affair."

"No it isn't, but my husband has unfortunately made you my business. Has Rhett come to see you recently?"

"No, not in a long time."

"Then how did you know about my memory loss?"

"Folks talk."

She stifled a short bitter laughing, thinking that _folks_ do indeed talk quite a bit, unless of course her husband is blackmailing them to stay quiet.

"Did he come by to…end things? To say he wouldn't be back?"

"Captain Butler comes and goes when he pleases."

_Damn her_, Scarlett thought hotly. _She is being as tight lipped as Rhett_. "Would you just answer my question! I want to know if my husband has been by to see you since my incident. I realize you have nothing to gain by telling me the truth but I can make it worth your while. You certainly have no problems accepting money for your services."

"Captain Butler deserves a lot better than you. He always has."

"And you think the madam of a whore house is better than me?"

"It wasn't me that barred him from my bed."

A jolt of hurt and shock stabbed at her heart as Scarlett was faced with the realization that Rhett would tell a whore personal things about their lives, that he would confide in his mistress when he made it nearly impossible for her to gain any insight into his heart without fervently pleading. Even then, he was unwilling and cautious in divulging any part of himself unless there was no other alternative, such as the situation they were faced with now. A desire to scream at the top of her lungs and lunge for the woman whose existence reminded her of the reality of their sham of a marriage and the destruction of a long contrived illusion, but she restrained this sudden impulse. Not only would it be no way to go about getting what she wanted but it also made her out to be the clichéd wronged wife, and she had no intention of making a spectacle of herself in front of anyone, least of all this woman.

"You wouldn't bar anyone from your bed as long as they had the means to pay for it! Now answer my question."

Tears of rage and pent up emotion welled up behind her eyes, threatening the loss of her pride, and Scarlett turned around, afraid to unleash them like a foolish child in front of her husband's mistress.

Belle watched in amazement, witnessing for the first time genuine emotion in a woman she had long ago pegged as cold and unfeeling, someone who could be responsible for her husband's death then sleep soundly without an iota of guilt. Someone blind and heartless who could dismiss her husband from her room and remain completely oblivious to the inflicted pain of her actions. It was striking to find that perhaps Scarlett had come to develop feelings for her husband, sincere feelings that she would never be able to compete with, if there was ever a hope to keep him for herself.

"Never mind. I shouldn't have come here. It was a mistake," Scarlett mumbled quickly, reaching for the doorknob, ready to flee this horrid place and escape to the safety of her hotel room.

"He hasn't been here in months. Not since you lost your memory, and if you'd like it to stay that way, you should go home to your husband," Belle remarked reluctantly.

In mid step, she stopped then turned around to face Belle. "Really?"

"I sure as hell don't know why, but he loves you," she drawled sardonically.

An urge to claw this woman's eyes out filled her heart, but there was also a sense of gratitude that Scarlett felt for her honesty despite everything else. It was refreshing to hear an honest response for once, even if it took some cajoling on her part.

"Thank you. For your honesty I mean."

"It isn't for you."

"I may be grateful but make no mistake, Rhett will never again step foot in your establishment."

"I reckon that would be his choice."

"No. He will not be back again. Never," Scarlett assured her with such unwavering certainty that Belle feared it could very well turn out to be the truth.

~R&S~

As Scarlett hurried back to the sanctuary of her hotel room, hoping to put this awful evening behind her, she could not help but feel relief and reassurance in her findings, yet there were parts of the encounter that left her with gnawing self-doubt. Even though the flame of her ire had hardly been fully extinguished just yet, it was nonetheless wounding to find that her husband's mistress had found her undeserving of his love, that he would feel more comfortable trusting a whore with his emotions than his own wife. Rhett had vaguely explained the night she had barred him from their room, but nowhere in his rant had she heard the pain in his voice or even imagined the hurt her words from long ago must have inflicted as she was too wrapped up in her own disappointment and wrath to pay much attention. It was unsettling to know next to nothing of their past or of the person she used to be that was not laced with small lies, distorting the true picture. This was why she was desperate to know the truth, about everything, and she would go to just about any lengths to get it whether Rhett liked it or not. It was easy for him to say to put the past behind her, but it was next to impossible to do when it haunted her future and affected every relationship.

Reaching her hotel room, she unlocked the door and walked in to find Rhett there waiting for her, sitting on the bed with a blank look on his face, though it was not difficult to distinguish the frustration simmering just beneath the surface. Instead of waiting for him to speak first, she jumped on the attack, refusing to be questioned or berated.

"What are you doing here Rhett? I thought we agreed you were going to give me time."

"As I recall it, I promised to give you the days and not the nights, and as you can plainly see my dear, the sun has gone down. Why don't you tell me where you've been?"

Seeing that she remained unmoving by the door, he made his way to her in purposeful strides. She shifted nervously under his intense gaze as he stood before her, trying to think of a way to escape in order to avoid the relentless questioning that was bound to ensue.

"Well? Don't tell me you're at a loss for words. Where have you been?"

"That's none of your affair. You shouldn't even be here, Rhett."

"I'm your husband, in case you've forgotten, which makes it my affair. Now answer me," he demanded coolly, though the hands he placed at her shoulders, locking her in place, were far from relaxed.

"I've been visiting with your mistress if you'd like to know the truth."

"Come Scarlett, surely you could have come up with a better lie than that. You don't honestly expect me to believe you've been to a whore house?"

"I'm not lying you fool! Let me go."

Eyeing her acutely, Rhett realized that was she indeed telling the truth and his heart leapt suddenly, an unpleasant anxiety gripping him, not that it showed through his imperturbable veneer.

"And what did you expect to learn from your little adventure?"

"The truth. She was very informative."

He laughed shortly then remarked, "So you would trust an illiterate whore but you couldn't trust your own husband? How truly comforting."

"If you hadn't lied to me for months, then I would have never needed to do this, but you did."

"I will not explain myself again, Scarlett I—"

"You told her about me Rhett. You told her about Ashley. You told her I shut you out."

"She told you that did she?"

"Why did you do that?"

Sighing, he ran a quick irritated hand through his hair. "I had very few people I could speak with at the time. I know it may be difficult for you to understand but it was comforting to—"

"Please don't!" she cried before he could finish. "Don't say anymore I don't want to hear it."

It was too much to bear again, to hear how she had wounded him, how he had found comfort in the arms of another woman who probably knew more about her own husband than she had, and an underlying fear that she might lose him once more if she didn't act quickly gripped her mind. There was no question, Scarlett was still furious at Rhett for his deception, but the soft worried look now lingering in his eyes pulled at her heart strings and filled her with a strange sense of guilt for hurting him again. Because she was hurting him, every time she asked him to leave, every time she held back those three perfect words he seemed to be waiting for, and if he felt no remorse for straying before, then there was nothing to stop him from doing the same now. That was not a risk she was willing to take. While she hadn't completely forgiven him for everything that had transpired, there was no way she would allow him to step another foot into Belle's establishment, never, not while she still had breath left in her body.

Thinking that he had managed to once again go and say the wrong thing and upset Scarlett beyond repair, Rhett was just about to remove his hands from her shoulders until her arms snaked around his neck and drew him into a soft yet insistent kiss that took him completely off guard. It was not often that his wife initiated any form of marital intimacy between them, but to have her kiss him now, to feel her smooth mouth pressed against his, their warm breaths mingling with each other after days of being subjected to her cold shoulder, he felt a fusion of surprise and blissful pleasure rush through him.

In an uncustomary gallant attempt to make certain that this was what Scarlett truly wanted for fear that she might turn around and blame him for this sudden coupling, Rhett reluctantly interrupted their kiss to examine her face then murmured with a hint of a laugh, "Darling, are you sure this—"

"Don't talk anymore," she urged sweetly then pulled his head back down in hopes that he might continue with those expert caresses which left her breathlessly light headed and malleable in his arms.

In accepting the invitation, he pushed her up against the wall, bringing his mouth down hard and demanding to hers, willing complete submission as he possessed her body and hopefully her heart, kissing her with unleashed fervor that had been simmering just beneath the surface, ready to erupt with each passing day when he couldn't hold her in their bed at night or feel the velvet of her skin beneath his hands. He felt like a teenager again, bursting with hormones, crushing her body to his, taking what he could without the thought of repercussions, and Scarlett responded just as ardently.

As their kisses intensified, she could taste the faint flavor of whiskey and cigars on his tongue, wondering for a moment what he had been doing before showing up at the hotel, but the thought was quickly eradicated as his tongue danced with hers and banished all thoughts other than the sizzling sensation of his mouth and the desire to get him out of his shirt . It was shocking to find out just how much she had missed him, the closeness they had shared, and all she wanted was to pretend things hadn't changed.

Rhett ran his hands through her hair, pulling out all of the pins and dropping them to the floor until the silky strands ran freely between his fingers. His mouth travelled down the length of her neck, brushing feather-light intermittent kisses all the way down until her head fell back with a released sigh of pleasure. The rapid throbbing of her racing heartbeat was evident against his lips in the hollow of her throat, and he smirked, rather impressed with his natural skills. Two strong arms were tightly wound around her tiny waist, his hands cupping her bottom and molding her frame to his with such force that she could feel the hard evidence of his arousal, something that almost made her jump back in surprise. Once again, Rhett was resuming control, causing her body to respond to those heavenly ministrations, and for a moment her mind struggled against the urge to surrender to this sweet all enveloping darkness and the need for him to bend to _her_ will. Her hands slid down to the forearms on each side of her waist, pushing them away then swiftly crawling up under his jacket while she stood on tiptoes, tugging at the fabric until it fell down over those unmistakably masculine broad shoulders. Fingertips flew to the buttons of his shirt, unfastening each of them with meticulous concentration, waiting to see and feel what lay beneath the clothes.

Rhett's eyes never left her face with every action she took, observing with a quizzical eye yet still enjoying the attention. It was puzzling to see Scarlett take initiative in the bedroom, especially now when it was no secret that she still harbored some resentment for the choices he'd made. There was no denying that he was enjoying the sensations she was evoking, but a part of his mind could not help but wander, questioning the motives behind her actions. It was unlike her to forgive so effortlessly, even more so when they had been on the brink of an argument, and an uncertainty plagued him.

Feeling the intense stare, Scarlett looked up suddenly, catching dark penetrating eyes by surprise, and she paused for an instant then smiled shyly, a smile that caused his breath to hitch slightly, before she resumed pulling the ends of the shirt out of his trousers and off his body. Giving into an impulse that was much too strong to even contemplate resisting, she ran her hands over the taut muscles, muscles that quivered under her cold flesh of her fingers as she touched him, exploring his hard naked chest, her nails raking through the dark mat of hair.

"I've missed you, Rhett," Scarlett murmured but was careful to keeps her eyes fixed on his chest.

Forcing her eyes to meet his, he tilted her chin gently and asked, "Is that all?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she replied with a light giggle then pulled his head back down, forcing his lips to find hers and urging him towards the bed until he was sitting on the mattress. Wild wisps of raven hair floated over one shoulder, grazing his chest while she leaned over him, hands firmly placed on his shoulders for support. Her kisses were urgent and forceful, seeking a response and approval, brimming with desperation and a need to lose herself in an engulfing dizziness and to forget reality if only briefly, to know and prove she was worth loving. The delicate white hands trickled down to the first button of his trousers, but when his skillful hands roamed to the front of her dress to undo the many hooks, Scarlett pulled away and backed out of his reach with a teasing grin.

With a dazed look on his face, Rhett watched with hungry eyes as Scarlett undid one hook after the other all while keeping her eyes keenly fixed on his, undressing with such painful slowness that it took all his willpower not to leap off the bed and devour her instantly. Intoxicating adrenaline pulsated through his system, any lingering uncertainty momentarily forgotten.

"Come here," he ordered hoarsely in a voice thick with desire, fearing he might erupt from the anticipation if he did not feel the smoothness of her bare magnolia skin beneath his palms in that instant.

With an air of nonchalance, Scarlett went to stand between his legs, and he gripped her waist then roughly pulled her towards him before running his hands up under the white cotton of the thin chemise, grazing the sides of her thighs with his light fingertips, sliding the material up over her hips and slowly stripping the last physical barrier away between their two bare bodies. Her hands were lost, gripping the jet-black head of hair as his lips teased the tender curve of her belly, eyes closed while basking in the pleasure that sparked and tingled in sinful places.

Greedily, Rhett explored every inch of her bare body as though she might suddenly disappear before his eyes, like it was his first time touching her warm flesh, fondling every curve, roaming over her hips and up to the swell of her breasts, kneading and tasting until the peaks stood at attention. A faint moan escaped her lips, the mounting anticipation becoming nearly unbearable, and Scarlett pushed at his shoulders until he was lying flat on his back while she straddled him, vaguely uncomfortable with this change in position until she realized the effect she was having on him and a surge of inebriating power eased any embarrassment. Caressing the swarthy chest and nipping at his neck and mouth, she discovered the influence a simple touch could wield. Stimulated by muffled groans, she grew more brazen and wicked with her ministrations until she was flipped over by an impatient Rhett. Pinning her hands up above her head and linking their fingers together, he resumed control, and Scarlett, flushed and breathless, stared up at him wordlessly, panting.

With an infuriating smirk, he brought his mouth down to her red parted lips, fully intending on paying her back for her torturous explorations. His kisses reverted back and forth between thick and arduous to tender and teasing, his hands following suit, grazing gently one moment only to grow more demanding the next, gripping and pressing into her skin with such fervor that it looked like his fingers might leave imprints, and the purring in his ear only spurred him on.

"Rhett," she mumbled faintly in the darkness, a seriousness creeping onto the features of her face despite the struggle to fight off the doubt that haunted her mind.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Scarlett floundered, wanting to confess her love, to convince, at least herself that she was deserving of the love of the man who held her so tightly, but she only managed to almost inaudibly whisper, "It's nothing."

"You can tell me, honey," Rhett murmured then brushed a tender hand across her cheek. "You can tell me anything."

There was a moment of hesitation, a pause of stone cold silence as she briefly considered his reassuring words before encouragingly arching her body up against his and hoping to distract him.

"No. Don't stop."

His reply was suddenly silenced by her inviting kiss as she abandoned the flesh of her body to Rhett's control, burying away the thoughts in the electric feel of skin meeting skin, slippery with a thin layer of sweat, the warm sensation of lips that bruised and deft hands that molded and traced scorching paths, the rush of racing heartbeats and gasping breaths, craving release and searching for escape.

~R&S~

When the sun rose the next morning, Scarlett felt the light inhale then exhale of light breathing tickling the hairs at the back of her neck and rousing her from a sleep she would have preferred not to wake from just yet. She made an attempt to change positions but Rhett's arm was like iron wrapped around her waist as though he feared she might disappear if he let her out of his grasp. Before she could ask if he was awake, his lips were at the side of her neck, teasing the skin and causing her to let out a girlish giggle.

"You're awake," Scarlett said with a smile then turned to face him.

"Of course I am. You didn't think I'd let you sneak away?"

"I wouldn't do that again."

"I wasn't going to take any chances," he said with a grin, and she was happy to hear the playful note in his voice. "What do you say to packing your things and going home to have breakfast with the children? They've missed you."

Shifting slightly, she lowered her eyes then moved to sit up, pulling away from him.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"That's a lovely idea, only… I don't think I should pack my things."

"Ah," Rhett said quietly, but when she ventured a peep at him under her lowered lashes, she caught a dangerous glint in his eyes that foretold of an unpleasant reaction. "So I suppose your intention was to make me out to be a fool who'd believed you'd forgiven me."

"No, that wasn't—"

"You forget my pet that I am not some lovesick puppy who will allow myself to be jerked around by your chain. If you refuse to forgive me, I will—"

"What? Rush back to your whore?" she cried out, leaping off the bed. "Will you always hold that over my head?"

"I was going to offer you the divorce you so badly desired only a few days ago."

Breath escaped her lungs in one quick rush, leaving her unable to speak or think coherently. Was it possible that he was actually giving up on her so effortlessly? Did she mean so little to him?

"Speechless?" Rhett remarked mockingly. "Don't tell me I've hurt your feelings. I don't see how those words could have been the least bit wounding."

"You're playing with me!"

"You didn't honestly think I was offering you a divorce? Do I strike you as someone who goes through great pains to get what they want only to admit defeat when it's within my reach?"

"But you—you said—"

"I know what I said, Scarlett, and I'm tired of playing these games. If you've forgiven me say so and come home, but don't stay here because you feel the need to hurt me. I can promise you I've done quite my share of suffering during this marriage, let alone through these past few days."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I realize there isn't anything I can say to make you trust me, but I love you, something you've still failed to reciprocate I might add, and I can promise to be honest from now on. Aren't I worth forgiving?"

His voice was smooth and tender, his features wiped clean of any trace of irritation, and Scarlett softly replied, "I do forgive you…partly."

A genuine smile played at his lips. It was first time she had admitted to even being close to forgiving him and he felt a renewed sense of hope that they could come to reaching some kind of agreement.

"Then why won't you come home? What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid of hating you."

"Do you hate me?"

There was part of her that wanted to say yes to pay him back for his awful trick, but instead she honestly answered, "No, but it's no secret I'm getting my memory back, Rhett. What if I remember something you don't want me to know. I don't want any more surprises and I don't want to find that you deliberately kept something from me only to save yourself for a second time. I won't be able to forgive you for that, not again, and I don't want to hate you."

"Darling, you won't hate me, and even if you did, I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't know that. Why else would you hide everything from me? I need you to tell me the truth, everything, but you won't do that …And I don't know if I could trust you even if you did. What I don't understand is what you're still hiding? It couldn't be much worse than what I know already."

"There are many things I've done that I'm not proud of, Scarlett, and your past isn't one filled with the fondest of memories. There are certain things you should be glad that you can't recall."

"I'd rather hear it from you than someone else."

"I thought you couldn't trust me?"

"Well..." she started then moved to climb onto his lap and wrapped her hands around his neck, "maybe you could make me change my mind."

"Will you come home?"

"That's a possibility."

"There's something else you aren't telling me," he observed.

"Well, you're not the only one I'm afraid of hating, Rhett. I…I'm afraid of hating myself. After the things you've said I've done, maybe the rest does get worse. I haven't changed my mind. I want to know everything, only I won't say I'm not worried."

"Where is this coming from? It wasn't my intention to make you believe—"

"No, it's not you. It's nothing," Scarlett cut in swiftly, thinking about what Belle had said. Even though she hadn't wanted them to, her comments had gotten under her skin, disturbing her peace of mind.

There was a look of disbelief coloring his features as he watched the emotions dance across her face, but she spoke before he had the chance to say anything first.

"You know, I do love you Rhett."

"Do you?"

She nodded briefly, then looked down, breaking away from sheer intensity of his hopeful gaze. "I didn't say so before because…I wanted to punish you for hurting me. My feelings won't change when you tell me the truth. I promise."

"Are you willing to keep that promise, Mrs. Butler?"

"Yes. It's awful lonely living in a hotel room all by my little lonesome," she simpered.

"I can't imagine why that would be."

Playfully laughing, Rhett hugged her closer, tightening his arms around her frame possessively, and then his voice became more serious, devoid of any previous trace of mockery. "In all honesty Scarlett, I'm sorry for hurting you. It was the last thing I wanted after everything that's happened. You do believe me, don't you?"

"I believe you," she whispered, running a hand through his hair, and then placed a reassuring tender kiss to his lips. "Now, I want you to tell me everything, from the beginning. And don't you dare leave anything out."


	16. Chapter 16

**I truly apologize for taking so long in updating. Let's just say that this chapter has been semi-complete for the last year and a half but RL got in the way of its completion. ( If you read my other story you know what I'm talking about, so I'll spare you the rambling A/N haha ) I really do appreciate everyone who is still interested in the story. It amazes me every time I hear from you guys. All I can say is that I will never leave a story unfinished, so you don't need to worry about that. Thanks again for the continued support! :D Also, a huge thank you to CeeJay for betaing this terribly long chapter for me! This is for Bugsie and she knows why ;)**

At the beginning of Rhett's tale, Scarlett listened impatiently as he spoke of her first marriage to Charles, which was a result of her infatuation with Ashley, something she also noticed that he glossed over rather quickly, as it was still a fairly touchy subject between them. It came as no surprise now how Melanie had completely misconstrued the relationship between herself and Charles, especially since this was the woman who apparently had been oblivious to the torch that Scarlett had carried for her own husband. Had Scarlett had more time to mull over the details of her past, she may have felt the stirrings of guilt touch her consciousness for the disloyalty she had shown a woman who had now become a friend. But as it was, Rhett was zooming through her history in hopes of relieving himself of this duty as quickly as possible that there was no time for any such feelings. As Rhett spoke, there was nothing about his countenance that illustrated that he was the least bit uncomfortable with divulging the truth, other than the fact that he would stop here and there to gauge her reaction. It was only when he began describing the visit she had made to the jail wearing her mother's curtains that Scarlett noticed that his body tensed and his voice grew low and clipped.

Up until this point, Scarlett had accepted the truth reasonably well, saying very little unless it was to ask for clarification or to ask a question. Rhett had been surprised by her lack of response to the events of her life being dealt out so bluntly like someone recounting an everyday story, but there was no other way he could think of explaining the truth without remaining impartial. As he approached the subject of his time spent in jail and her unexpected visit however, he found himself completely unable to conceal his true emotions.

"You came to me at the jail in hopes of borrowing 300 dollars to pay the taxes on Tara, and you…" Rhett explained, pausing midsentence to glance her way.

She was sitting on the bed with her hands folded on her lap, her eyes anxiously searching his face in anticipation of his next words. There was no doubt that there was something he was refusing to say, and she could feel her heartbeat accelerate in response.

"What? What did I do Rhett?" she pressed, urging him to continue.

"You came hoping to lure me into wedlock wearing your mother's curtains. You didn't want me to be aware of the extent of your monetary difficulties."

"So I could trick you into marrying me?"

"That was the plan, yes."

"And then you didn't lend it to me did you?"

"No, I did not. But there was very little I could do at the time Scarlett. If I could have, I would have helped you, but my funds weren't accessible at the time. Not in a way where I could have withdrew money without attracting attention. I was powerless to help you."

"There's more you aren't telling me."

Sitting by her side on the bed, Rhett reached for one of her hands and murmured, "Scarlett—"

"Tell me!" she interrupted before the soft touch of his fingers could undo her willpower.

"Well, considering your attempts at deceit, I retaliated by allowing you to believe that I might accept your offer to be my mistress in return for 300 dollars."

"You let me offer myself to you even when you knew all along that you wouldn't give me the money?"

"Yes, I was—"

"I hurt you," Scarlett supplied before he could finish, and then she pulled herself out of his reach and walked away, turning her back to him. "What happened next? I married Frank, my sister's fiancé, for the money, is that it?"

In three purposeful strides, his hands were on her shoulders.

"Scarlett, look at me."

"Don't touch me," she muttered brusquely, ripping herself out of his grasp. "Is that what happened?"

"For the most part. I'll say this, you had very few options and Frank was his own man. He made his own choices as well."

"And then I killed him. You wouldn't tell me how."

"You didn't kill him, per se. He brought that upon himself by participating in a Klan raid."

"Then why do I remember blaming myself for his death Rhett? The day you proposed?"

"Er…You may have run yourself into some danger and the ever chivalrous Frank had to avenge you."

"So I did kill him and—"

"Inadvertently."

"And then I agreed to marry you on the day of his funeral, even when I was in love with Ashley and I knew I didn't love you!"

"To be entirely honest Scarlett, I wasn't leaving until you'd agreed to be my wife. Things couldn't have gone much differently."

"Until I ordered you out of our room, isn't that right? You bring it up often enough it's hard to forget," Scarlett muttered in frustration, trying to come to grips with the harsh reality of her life spread out in front of her so plainly, like she was a bystander watching the episodes of her past unfold before her without the power to change any of them.

"I bring it up because it has everything to do with why I tried to keep you from the truth."

"Why did you even bother?" she questioned in a voice laced with anguish despite her attempt at keeping her emotions at bay.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you bother keeping the truth from me? If I was such a horrible wife and I loved someone else, why would you even want me?"

Abruptly Rhett had her in his grasp, one arm curled around her tiny waist while his free hand was under her chin compelling her to meet his dark gaze. "Because I love you, you stubborn, exasperating woman," he said in a low gruff voice. "But you don't want to hear that do you? You'd rather continue clinging to this anger you have for me, to continue hurting me because I've hurt you.

"I would like for you to leave, Rhett. I need to think things over."

"You said that the truth would not affect the way you felt about me. Was that a lie?"

"No," she croaked.

"No? Yet here you are ordering me to leave once again," he remarked with barely concealed frustration, immediately dropping the hold he had of her waist and backing away.

"I'm asking."

With an audible exhale of air, he shoved each hand into his trouser pockets and balled two fists of pure irritation. "I see very little difference, the result is the same. What is it that you want? What do you see happening between us?"

"I don't know."

"What is it that you need to think over? I think you asked me to leave just to wound me."

"So what if I did!" she cried out in exasperation. "You hurt me Rhett and now you take none of the blame."

Infuriated and refusing to defend himself yet again, he strode to the entrance in quick determined strides, opening the door only to close it abruptly with a harsh bang without exiting. It was hopeless. There was no way that this maddening woman was going to see reason, not until he came out with the whole truth of their marriage and his own part in its downfall. It was more difficult than he had anticipated, coming to terms with the fact that he did hold some responsibility in what became of their marriage. There had always been a need to hold onto this bitterness of not having his love returned immediately once they were married and every agonizing month that followed. Ever since she had unceremoniously informed him that she never wanted to bear anymore of his children, the resentment had grown to such proportions that it had become almost effortless to place all of the blame on Scarlett shoulders. It was only until recently that Rhett had begun to mull over his own actions over the past few years, and he realized that there were certain unpleasant events that could have avoided, or at the very least assuaged, had he behaved differently or civilly for that matter.

Staring up at him, Scarlett asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm not going. Not until you've heard the entire truth."

"What is it?"

"I'm not as guiltless as I would like to believe myself to be in what became of our marriage, Scarlett. There are times where I would wholeheartedly hold you solely responsible for the mess it developed into, but, truth be told, if we are to start off being completely honest with each other, I must admit that there are things I should have done differently."

Raking a frustrated hand through his hair, he sighed softly before turning away from the door to face her.

"I was not always the best husband that I should have been when we were first married. I tried to be, I tried to give you everything you could have ever wanted. I thought it would make you love me in time," Rhett started, staring Scarlett straight on, only to avert his gaze in the next instant, moving closer to the window in order to avoid the emerald eyes that burned through him. The truth of their circumstances was difficult enough to admit to himself, let alone having to reiterate them in front of the one woman who could prove to be his undoing. There was a certain art involved in cloaking one's emotions and remaining unaffected and aloof. An art he had come to perfecting over the years, and now apprehension filled his senses as he was about to give up his one last safeguard. If she laughed or spurned him now, there was no way he could feign indifference.

There was a long pause before Rhett continued, keeping his back to Scarlett as he spoke, "I thought the dream of Ashley would fade and you would come to care for me…but you clung to this idea of love that you thought you had for him. It drove me mad, knowing that you never returned my feelings and wished that the honorable gentleman was in my place, and I found myself growing more resentful. Every time I saw your locked door, I wanted to –er…well I see now I shouldn't have let it get that far. We were both miserable."

"Rhett, don't. Don't go on," Scarlett cut in with a shake of her head, unable to bear hearing any more of her failings. How was it that she had been the one begging to know the whole truth? What a mistake that had been now, she realized. "I don't want to hear it."

"I thought you wanted me to admit I held some of the blame?"

"I thought I did, but I don't. I don't want to hear the details."

He watched her for a moment, debating his options, and then pressed forward despite his own reservations. "There is more you should know, Scarlett."

"What is it? What else have I done?"

"No, it's nothing you've done. If we are going to be honest, I should tell you that I do own a share in Belle Watling's establishment."

"You what?" she asked in what came close to screech, momentarily stunned out of her own thoughts. "You're in business with that creature?"

"Somewhat. I helped get her started. You've always assumed I believe, but I have never come out and confessed it. I'm telling you now."

"This whole time you've hated me for being in business with Ashley Wilkes, but all along you've been doing the same thing with your mistress!" Scarlett cried hotly, feeling the heat of her wrath suddenly overwhelm her body and dissipate all sense of her previous guilt. She wanted to charge him, to throw something, anything, at his head, but she remained rooted in place, incapable of moving.

"I helped someone who was willing to help themselves. You helped the honorable gentleman to keep him tied to you."

"But I never slept with him. Everybody in this damned town knows that she was your mistress!"

"But you kept him beholden to you."

"You will never forgive me for that! Would you like me to get down and beg for forgiveness Rhett?"

"And what of Belle Watling? Will you always hold that over my own head or am I the only one who is supposed to be open-hearted and forgiving?" he asked, feeling his imperturbable veneer crack though at the same time unable to stop the words from tumbling from his lips.

"You will not see that creature again Rhett, never."

"Won't I?"

"No you won't, and you won't be in business with her either, not if you would like me to come home."

Rhett's eyes darkened dangerously, losing every bit of warmth they might have held before. "I don't know what ever gave you the impression that I was the type of man to succumb to ultimatums Mrs. Butler, but I feel I should inform you that my business ventures are entirely my own and I will not allow myself to be bullied into making any decisions."

"Do you mean to tell me that you won't do it?"

"How observant my dear, yes that is precisely what I am saying," he replied in a cool voice as he exited the room before either one of them would say something more that they could not take back.

"Oh! I hate you! I'll hate you till die," Scarlett cried in a blind rage, reaching for the nearest trinket, a small decorative vase, before launching it with all her strength at the closed door. Adrenaline pumping through her veins, her chest heaved with every short quick intake of breath. The sides of her head began throbbing with the pain of a returning headache, and she rubbed the sides of her temples in hopes to relieve it. There was something strangely eerie about the moment, something that screamed that she had already witnessed or suffered a similar situation, and then a vague, muffled memory came back to her.

_"Ashley-Ashley-tell me-you must-oh, don't tease me now! Have_

_I your heart? Oh, my dear, I lo-"_

_His hand went across her lips, swiftly. The mask was gone._

_"You must not say these things, Scarlett! You mustn't. You don't_

_mean them. You'll hate yourself for saying them, and you'll hate_

_me for hearing them!"_

_She sprang to her feet, her hands clenched and he rose towering_

_over her, his face full of the mute misery of one forced to face_

_realities when realities are agonies._

_"I shall hate you till I die, you cad-you lowdown-lowdown-"_

_What was the word she wanted? She could not think of any word bad_

_enough._

_"Scarlett-please-"_

_He put out his hand toward her and, as he did, she slapped him_

_across the face with all the strength she had. The noise cracked_

_like a whip in the still room and suddenly her rage was gone, and_

_there was desolation in her heart._

_The red mark of her hand showed plainly on his white tired face._

_He said nothing but lifted her limp hand to his lips and kissed_

_it. Then he was gone before she could speak again, closing the_

_door softly behind him._

_She sat down again very suddenly, the reaction from her rage_

_making her knees feel weak. He was gone and the memory of his_

_stricken face would haunt her till she died._

_She heard the soft muffled sound of his footsteps dying away down_

_the long hall, and the complete enormity of her actions came over_

_her. She had lost him forever. Now he would hate her and every_

_time he looked at her he would remember how she threw herself at_

_him when he had given her no encouragement at all._

_Her hand dropped to a little table beside her, fingering a tiny_

_china rose-bowl on which two china cherubs smirked. The room was_

_so still she almost screamed to break the silence. She must do_

_something or go mad. She picked up the bowl and hurled it_

_viciously across the room toward the fireplace. It barely cleared_

_the tall back of the sofa and splintered with a little crash_

_against the marble mantelpiece._

_"This," said a voice from the depths of the sofa, "is too much."_

_Nothing had ever startled or frightened her so much, and her mouth_

_went too dry for her to utter a sound. She caught hold of the_

_back of the chair, her knees going weak under her, as Rhett Butler_

_rose from the sofa where he had been lying and made her a bow of_

_exaggerated politeness (Mitchell, 1936, p. 93-94). _

Hot tears of wrath formed in her eyes as the blurred memories came and went like she was experience them at high speeds, but she quickly wiped the droplets away to hide all signs of weakness and forced the thoughts out of her mind. It was bad enough to have to deal with Rhett and the reality of her life now, let alone to be reminded of a time that proved her to be such a stupid, spoiled fool. How had she made such a complete and utter mess of her life chasing after a man who never really loved her? She didn't think it was possible to feel any more remorse than she was feeling now, but she did and the guilt consumed her. Shaking away the unpleasant memory, Scarlett dropped to the floor to pick up the scattered pieces of shattered porcelain, tossing the white shards onto a nearby coffee table only to notice a ledger resting on its surface. For a moment, she tried to recall bringing the ledger to the hotel room but easily dismissed that idea, knowing she had left it behind in her mad rush to escape the house unnoticed. _It must have been Rhett, _she thought, beyond surprised that he would even think to bring her the book when he made it more than clear that he hated that she worked with Ashley. His thoughtfulness sent a wave of warmth through her body. The man was a walking contradiction. How could he be insensitively cruel one moment only to turn around and do something so unexpectedly sweet? If he brought the ledger the night before it must have meant he had been prepared to let her have the time she needed to think things through on her own. Flipping through the ledger, Scarlett remembered why she had needed to bring it home the night of the birthday party. Ashley had made such a snarl of the numbers and she had needed to repair the damage. What a change one night could bring to one's life, she mused, deciding to work on these numbers before going home to try to make amends with Rhett. If there was something she had realized from this whole ordeal, it was that enough time had been wasted between them and another night apart was not going to make her mind any clearer.

~R&S~

It was dark by the time Scarlett arrived home to what seemed like an empty house, especially since there was no one was there to greet her at the door. It wasn't that she was expecting anyone to be waiting for her, but the silence was disconcerting and she wondered whether Rhett was home at all. As she climbed the carpeted stairs, she could see a light casted down the hall, coming from their bedroom door that lay ajar. Tiptoeing, Scarlett moved to the entrance of the room and waited quietly only to have Rhett turn around and notice her almost immediately. Without a word, she closed the door behind her and placed the carpet bags on the floor, wishing Rhett would be the first to speak as the words she had prepared escaped her at that moment.

"Dare I presume you've come home or are you only here to pack more of your belongings?" Rhett finally asked, breaking the silence, though refusing to meet her gaze.

The bitterness in his tone made her wince. She had hoped that this would go smoothly, though she should have known that it was too much to expect. Since when had anything between them ever gone smoothly.

"I'm home."

Meeting her eyes for the first time since she had walked the room, Rhett's dark orbs held her gaze, scrutinizing and attempting to decipher her emotions.

"Why?"

"I…well I would have hated to be the reason you broke your promise to me."

"I wasn't going to break my promise Scarlett. I was coming tonight whether you wanted me there or not," Rhett said with a slight grin despite himself, and she found herself giving him a small whisper of a smile in return.

"I found the ledger. You brought it yesterday?"

"Yes, I thought you might have needed it."

"I did. There were things I had wanted to go over."

"I remember," he muttered, recalling the night of Ashley Wilkes' birthday.

The tension in the room was so thick it felt like a wall between them, and she was at a loss as to how to tear it down.

Fighting the temptation to turn around and walk out of the room, Scarlett said, "I was wondering if you could deliver the book to Ashley for me. I worked on it this afternoon and I'm sure he needs it back."

"May I ask why you cannot do it yourself?"

"Because I made it clear to him that I wouldn't be coming to the mills anytime soon."

A flicker of emotion she could not decipher crossed his features when he asked, "Why?"

"The gossips for one thing"

"You've never really cared much about their opinions before. What else is there?"

"If you are trying to imply that I am doing this for you, you're wrong because I'm not."

"Pray then, why are you doing this? Certainly you wouldn't be hoping that I might feel the guilty need to give into your previous demands?"

"Oh! No such thing ever crossed my mind, I just thought—"

Rhett's laughter caused her to stop mid tirade before she could say anything she might come to later regret. The man was infuriating! There was no other creature on this God given earth that could rile her temper the way this man did with the sound of his mocking laughter.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked with a scowl and an angry hand on her hip. "Why must everything be a joke with you?"

"Because, my dear, if we never find anything to laugh about then we would have to come to terms with the colossal mess we've created for ourselves."

"The mess _we've_ created?"

"Do _you_ believe you're blameless in this merry hell we've called a marriage?"

Somehow all the anger she could feel rising to the surface evaporated and was replaced by a feeling of regret. How much easier it would be if only she could hold him solely responsible for what had become of their marriage, but if today's information had been any indication of the person she'd been, then there was no denying the part she'd played.

"No, I'm not," she replied softly, averting her eyes. "But you seem to think you are."

"No, I'm not blameless. I thought I said as much today."

"I know…I just wish it could be all your fault."

"Come here, Scarlett," he said, holding his arms open for her, but she stayed fixed, eyeing him suspiciously.

"No."

"Please?"

"No. You come here."

With an exasperated sigh, he moved towards her and pulled her into his arms. "If you don't want to give up the mill, then I don't want you to."

"Why? Is it because you don't want to give up your—"

"Don't say it Scarlett."

"The tie you have to that _establishment_," she finished, though she still said the word like it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"No. I don't want you to give up something you take pride in. My reasons for wanting you to relinquish that particular business were selfish ones. I won't deny that I would prefer if the little gentleman found work elsewhere, but we couldn't very well throw the man back into the job market with so few qualifications. Not that I would say he is particularly suited for the mill business."

"And I suppose in return you want me to say that I trust you and want you to do what you please with your investments?"

"No such thing ever crossed my mind," he teased lightly.

"Good, because I won't. But," she added quickly before he could assume she was on the verge of another attempt of placing him with an additional ultimatum, "I won't _force_ you to give them up either."

Gently lifting her chin, Rhett said, "Scarlett, look at me." She met his eyes and he continued, "I've given up my rights to the- er- establishment you are referring to."

"You have? But you said…"

"I realize it seems that I've given in to your demands, but that's not entirely the case. This is not something I felt like I was forced to do, I wanted to do this because I knew it would make you happy. I owe you that much, don't I?"

"You don't owe me anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the one who broke our arrangement. You don't owe me anything."

"Perhaps owe is the wrong word. I meant it as a way to try and make amends for hurting you. I would like for us to try and get passed this. Do you think that you might come to forgive me eventually? Maybe even…completely."

"Do you think you could forgive me for breaking our agreement and turning you out of our room? Completely?"

"Forgiveness is easier said than done isn't it?"

"It appears so. I am sorry about hurting you as well Rhett. I didn't know and…well it's not something I'm proud of. There are a few things I'm not proud of at the moment. Do you think we could start over from the beginning and try again?"

"I don't know if I believe in starting over or blank slates, but there is nothing more I would like to do than try."

"If you really believed all that, you never would have lied to me in the first place."

"How perceptive Mrs. Butler. Perhaps there is more quixotism that still lingers in me than I would care to admit."

A puzzled look crossed over her face at the unfamiliar word, and she wondered whether he was teasing her. "What does that mean?"

With a devilish smile and twinkle in his eyes, he replied, "It means I'm still a romantic fool, even at my advanced age, perhaps even to my own detriment."

"Oh. Well… maybe more fool than romantic I should think," Scarlett answered with a saucy grin, realizing how much fun teasing could be, especially when not on the receiving end.

"I will make you regret those words," Rhett warned in a husky growl as his arms engulfed her tiny framing, pulling her against the rock hardness of his chest, his lips poised just above her own.

"No, I don't think you will," she challenged in a voice just above a whisper, awaiting her punishment with a tilted head.

A trill of pleasure rushed through her as his lips connected with hers in a hard possessive kiss that had her melting at her knees, clinging to his shoulders for support, and kissing him back with matched ardor. What blissful relief it was to finally give in without any reservations or doubts. Of course there was still a lot of forgiving to be done on both their ends, but at least she knew now for certain that life with this man that she could love and hate at equal intensities would be far better than a life without him. Despite how angry Rhett could make her at times, it was almost unimaginable to envision a life where he was not there teasing her, driving her mad or making her laugh. Even if it took them years to sort out their issues and come to terms with the life they had now, it would be well worth the effort and the frustration.

When his lips finally left her own and brushed down the length of her neck, leaving exquisite trails, Scarlett whispered, "I remembered something else today Rhett… after you left."

He froze then drew away slightly, only enough to be able to read her expression. "What did you recall?"

"The barbeque at the Wilkes'."

"Ah, a pleasant memory."

"It's not all an unpleasant memory. I vaguely remember almost hitting you with a piece of china. Shame that I missed."

"It's fortunate for me your aim hasn't improved over the years."

Scarlett laughed lightly, but the smile she held never truly reached her eyes. "I hurt you deeply, didn't I? Everything with Ashley I mean."

"Scarlett, you don't need to—"

"No, I think I understand now. I didn't want to before, I wanted to kill you, but now that I know what it feels like to— well… I am sorry, Rhett."

"You do sprout a conscience at the most inopportune moments."

"What do you mean? Don't you want me to feel sorry?"

"Not when I'm feeling equally as guilty. It's less satisfying."

"Always teasing" she groaned, slapping his arm playfully. "Never once in your life will you be serious."

"Would you like me to stop?"

"I doubt you're capable of it even if I did ask. Besides, I think I have a way to pay you back for all of your teasing."

"And what's that, my pet?" Rhett asked with an amused glint in his eyes.

"Let's just say you'll be receiving my hotel bill, and you can only hope that the vase I threw today wasn't a priceless heirloom."

Chuckling, he drew her even closer and placed a gentle kiss at the top of her head. "Old habits do die hard don't they my dear?"

"Apparently so," she answered with a laugh, wrapping her arms even more tightly around his midsection, enjoying the feel of his warmth and knowing there was nowhere else she'd rather be in that moment.

**So I was attempting to edit this story before posting the new chapter just in case everyone needed to read it over again to remember where we left off, and I've noticed how much angst there has been recently. All I can say is that I am trying to keep this as realistic as possible, and technically, only a few days have passed in the story since the big blowout, not the few years that it has been for us haha. Next chapter is a huge attempt to make up for the angst (though I can't promise that this is the last you'll see of it). I actually really like how it's looking. Now if you are interested, some fun facts about memory loss. Memories do often come back in snippets rather than all at once in individuals, from what I've researched. So it would be rare for someone to wake up the next day and have all of their memories restored magically when it comes to this kind of amnesia. Also, memories do also come back in the form of dreams and/or flashbacks, so I'm keeping true to the literature ;) **


	17. Chapter 17

A light tickling sensation against the side of her face caused Scarlett's lips to twitch with an unreleased giggle, and her eyes fluttered open when she realized that the culprit was Rhett's thinly clipped mustache and lips brushing kisses against her cheek.

Smiling when their eyes met, he placed a soft peck on the tip of her nose and said, "Good morning."

"It's too early for it to be good, Rhett. Come back to bed and we can sleep in a little more," she muttered back, closing her eyes again and snuggling up beneath the covers, prompting a short chuckle from her husband.

"Not so fast Mrs. Butler, I brought coffee."

"Hmm," she mumbled, scrunching up her nose. "No. Sleep."

"It's nearly noon. We can hardly call it morning as it is."

Turning onto her stomach and burying her face deeper into the plush pillows, she replied in a muffled voice, "I have no plans today."

"You may have no plans but Melanie should be bringing the children home at any moment."

"Oh."

"I have breakfast ready for you if you'd like."

"Breakfast?" she asked, finally opening her eyes and perking up at the idea of food. Her stomach gave off a loud gurgling sound as the whiff of the warm breakfast reached her nose. Rhett laughed, placing the silver tray of food atop her thighs when Scarlett sat upright so she could eat in bed.

"Hungry, I assume?"

"Starving. Thank you, darling."

"Am I your darling?" he asked with a raised brow, taking a seat next to her on the edge of the bed.

Plopping a piece of buttered biscuit into her mouth, she pondered her reply like the answer depended solely on the taste of the food. "Yes, for now."

"How flattering."

Scarlett was about to respond when the sound of footsteps running up the stairs interrupted her train of thought. "I think the children are home," she said instead.

"I believe you're right. I'll go greet them then come back."

Placing a kiss atop her head, Rhett left to welcome the children home, and Scarlett sighed happily, glad to be home and surrounded by people who cared for her rather than alone in an empty hotel room.

It was not long before Rhett was back in their bedroom, and Scarlett grinned only to frown a moment later when she saw a strange look cross over his face. She half-expected him to come back with Bonnie is arms, but here he stood, alone, with an odd look in his eyes, then he closed door behind him.

"What's wrong?"

"Melanie, she would like to speak to you. She's waiting downstairs."

"I see," Scarlett grumbled, glancing away only to meet his eyes in the next instance, her mind made up. "No."

Moving towards the bed, Rhett removed the now empty tray from her lap and set it aside. "You enjoyed the breakfast I see," he observed with a grin, hoping to bring back the smile to her face. Their morning had begun so wonderfully and he hated to disrupt the happy peace, but it seemed he could not deny Mrs. Wilkes her request, especially after all of her help with the children.

"Don't change the subject. I don't want to see her, Rhett. Tell her I'm not home."

"You know I can't do that. She knows you're home."

"Then tell her I'm resting and don't want to see any visitors."

"Surely you aren't holding a grudge Scarlett? She's your friend and she loves you. You know she only told me your whereabouts because she cares."

For a moment there was a twinge of guilt that pulled at Scarlett's heart for everything she had done to Melanie in the past, namely, trying to destroy her engagement the day it was to be announced and her pining for the woman's husband for subsequent years thereafter, but that feeling was quickly overshadowed by a feeling of betrayal. What kind of friend was she if she chose Rhett's side during their dispute! Was it really too much to hope for that her supposed _dear_ friend would have given her a place to stay for a mere few days until the dust had settled and she'd reached a conclusion about her marriage? No, it was not too much to ask for, and Scarlett had clearly not put this particular unpleasant encounter behind her.

"She's no friend of mine. She made it perfectly clear whose friendship she values most, and I won't see her."

"If you could find it in your heart to forgive me for my misgivings, don't you think you could find it in yourself to forgive her?"

"You are treading on the thinnest of ice as it is Rhett Butler. And as for Melly, if she was so concerned for me, she might have found it in her heart to let me stay at her home for a few days," Scarlett bit back with fire blazing in her eyes, her voice rising just below what one would consider shouting. "Great balls of fire! I delivered her son didn't I! You'd think that would earn me some loyalty at the very least."

"She has been devoted to you since the war, Scarlett. She loves you above everyone in her life save for perhaps her own son and husband. You're her favorite sister-in-law."

"And you think I'm comforted by the fact that she loves me above that horrible, pinched face India Wilkes!"

"And Honey Wilkes," he added softly only to laugh when Scarlett shot him a powerful glare.

Turning her face away from him like a child who does not quite want to hear what their parent has to say, she warned, "You're not helping."

"Scarlett, she's here and she wants to see you. Are you really going to make me send her away?"

"Yes, please do," she muttered, fluffing the blankets around her waist like she meant to stay in bed for the rest of the day, avoiding his gaze in the process.

"Really?"

"No, give her the ledger to give to Ashley then send her away. It will save you a trip."

"How pragmatic, my dear," he quipped, a grin playing at his lips.

She could hear the amusement in his voice, the damn infuriating man, and Scarlett glanced over at him, noticing his smirk. "Don't look at me like that Rhett."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm some stubborn child who's just trying to be mean, I'm not."

"The thought never crossed my mind."

"Yes it did. You don't understand. I was alone and needed someone and she wouldn't help me. I was all alone. I had no one."

"I thought the purpose of your hotel excursion was precisely for that reason. To be alone."

"I meant alone and away from you! Oh you're just defending her because she chose you and not me."

"She didn't choose me, she chose you. She was trying to do what was best for you. Honestly Scarlett, don't you think she did you a favor in the end? Did you really want to be trapped under a roof with Ashley Wilkes? I think not."

"I hadn't thought about that…"

"Besides, there was no way I was leaving you to stay at the Wilkes' even if she had given in to your demands. I wouldn't have cared if you fought and clawed me all the way home, you weren't staying there."

With an exasperated roll of her eyes, she enquired, "What would you have done Rhett? Carried me over your shoulder like some sort of caveman?"

"I did it once didn't I?" he replied with a devilish smirk. "I would have gladly done it again."

Scarlett giggled at the truth of that statement then frowned almost instantly. "That's not funny. I could've killed you that night if I'd had the chance."

"I'm just saying things could not have gone much differently. Even if she hadn't told me where you were staying, I would have found you eventually. Nothing would have stopped me."

His words caused her pause and stare at him unabashedly, realizing just how much he must love her. The man probably would have scoured every house and hotel until he found her, threatening whoever stood in his way in the process. The idea seemed almost romantic if it were not for the circumstances behind the urge to run away. The thought drew a smile to her face, something which seemed to surprise him before he finally grinned back.

"I...never really thought about that."

"Will you see her?" he asked hopefully, needing to put this whole ordeal behind them. The sooner the two women reconciled, the better off everyone would be, and Ashley's blasted birthday could be utterly forgotten. Rhett then also made a mental note to plan a trip out of Atlanta next time Ashley's birthday rolled around.

"You're not giving me much of a choice," Scarlett answered, pulling him away from his thoughts.

"I'll go downstairs right now and tell her to leave if that's what you really want, but I don't think that's honestly what you want. Is it?"

"I suppose not. It's just that… well she hurt me Rhett. I know she probably didn't do it purposely but she did it all the same."

"I understand, but I don't want you to lose a friendship that's been so important to you these last few months."

"I suppose," she agreed reluctantly, lowering her eyes to her hands.

Sometimes it was easy to forget just how vulnerable Scarlett could be, especially when she always held up such a strong front. It also did not help that for as long as Rhett had known her, he had been so wrapped up in his own feelings and his obsessive need to conceal them that he failed to recognize her own feelings or that fact that he had wounded them. It was a hard habit to break, but he was determined to do just that.

"Scarlett, look at me," Rhett urged.

Looking up, she met his deep penetrating gaze before her captured her hands in how own, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"You should know that you are never alone. You will always have me. Always," he emphasized then leaned in and stroked her cheek gently with a brush of his hand. "I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way."

"It's fine," she croaked, staring perhaps a little too intensely at the lips only a breath away from her own, forgetting momentarily what in the world they'd been discussing and wishing he would just kiss her. It seemed strange to wish her husband would take a few liberties when all she had to do was lean in and take matters into her own hands, but it appeared that a knot of anxiety held her back from doing just that.

"No by God it's not fine," he boomed, causing her to flinch slightly before she realized that he must have thought the raspy quality to her voice was the sound of repressed tears. "I've made a real mess of things and there's no excuse. I want to make it up to you."

"Well… I could think of a few things."

Rhett laughed in response to the enchanting sparkle that lit her eyes and flirtatious tone, wondering what particular devilment she was meditating. "Could you? Anything that comes to mind now?"

"I'll have to think on it. I want it to be good."

"Undoubtedly."

"I'll just get dressed. Would you tell Melly I'll be down in a few minutes?"

"Of course," he agreed, pressing a swift peck to her lips before two arms snuck around his neck, pulling him forward and deepening their kiss. If the feelings she was evoking had not felt so real, Rhett might have convinced himself that he had conjured the whole thing up in his imagination, but the scrape of the nails running through his hair were definitely real as was the rapidly beating heart pressed up against his chest. It seemed so odd to have found himself with yet another chance at happiness when few people so rarely received second chances, let alone a third chance. He was not foolish enough to let this opportunity slip through his fingers.

When they finally broke apart, admittedly reluctantly, Scarlett flushed a light pink, unable to form words.

"What was that for?" Rhett asked softly, "Not that I'm complaining."

"Well you said that you wanted to start making it up to me. That's a start."

Unable to resist, Rhett pulled her in for another kiss, brief yet still fervent, before he released her again.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, chuckling softly. "But what I meant was that I wanted to do something solely for you, not something that would also benefit me in the process."

"I'll think of something, I'm sure."

"I have no doubt. Now I better leave you to get dressed before I lose all willpower and keep you to myself the rest of the day."

The door was closed behind him before she even had a chance to answer or persuade him to do just that.

R&S

Melanie was sitting on the settee in the library when Scarlett finally came down, and as she stepped into the room, her sister-in-law stood up abruptly, looking much like a nervous bird.

"Scarlett, I'm so glad you were willing to see me."

"Certainly, why wouldn't I?" Scarlett said with an air of indifference though the tone was frigid.

Inching her way closer, Melly hesitantly replied, "Because… you were so angry with me the last time we spoke."

"Let's not discuss it," said Scarlett shortly. "I don't want to think about it."

"Oh I just couldn't bear the thought of you being upset with me dear, I couldn't! Say you forgive me? You do, don't you Scarlett? I—"

Her sister-in-law looked like she was on the verge of tears, something which brought about a confusing mixture of pleasure then guilt, so Scarlett conceded, "Yes, yes. Let's leave it at that, Melly. It's been a long few days."

"Oh I'm so glad, darling," she uttered pleasantly, throwing her arms around Scarlett's waist in an embrace of affection. "It would kill me to think I'd hurt you. You know I'd never mean to hurt you. I should have let you stay. It was none of my business. You asked me for a favor and I—"

"Really, let's think nothing more of it," Scarlett interrupted, shaking herself out of the tight hold after giving Melanie a few friendly, albeit awkward, taps on the back. "I'd rather forget the whole thing."

"I understand. I came by yesterday and you still weren't home. Is everything all right with you and Captain Butler?"

"We've talked things through," Scarlett replied evasively, taking a seat on the settee Melanie had vacated when she walked into the room, fluffing her skirts about her before finally sitting down.

"I knew you would. I'm so happy to hear it."

"Thank you for helping with the children while I was away. Rhett told me about your sleepovers."

"They had a wonderful time. Beau and Wade are glued at the hip these days."

"I hope Bonnie wasn't too much trouble," said Scarlett, thinking back on how difficult it could be to get the child to sleep at night. Bonnie simply refused to close her eyes unless a candle was left burning and Rhett had been the one to tuck her in, and the God awful tantrums that followed when their daughter did not get her way were not easy to forget. This seemed odd at first to Scarlett, but once the whole truth of the sleeping arrangements had come out, it all became quite clear.

"No she's such a darling, and of course Captain Butler was still very helpful. It makes me wish I could have more children. Although, I do so love being an Aunt to your children. Do you think you may have more children one day?"

"Oh I never thought about it before. I'm still trying to get to know the children I have."

"The children did miss you, Scarlett. Quite a bit," Melanie added warmly.

"I am glad to be home."

"Well I should go. Beau's waiting for me. I just wanted to bring the children home and see how you were and to…apologize."

"Could you do me favor before you leave and take this with you for Ashley?" Scarlett asked, making her way to the desk at the corner of the room to pick up the heavy ledger then hand it to Melanie.

Taking the offered item from Scarlett with a look of confusion, Melanie questioned, "Are you not going to the mills?"

"No. Not for some time. I'm planning a trip away for a while and I won't be around."

"Where are you going?"

"To Tara," Scarlett answered abruptly, having no idea where the idea had come from. It was only in that moment that she found her mind was decided on the matter. "I'm having Rhett take me and the children there."

"How long will you be gone for?"

"I don't know. Not for very long. I hate to leave the mills all to Ashley again but I need to get away and see Tara for myself."

"Of course. I understand."

"Melly, I am sorry."

"For what dear? You have nothing to be sorry for."

_For being in love with your husband and despising you for years,_ she thought but did not say aloud. "For being so upset with you. I'm not anymore."

"I'm so glad," Melly replied, eyes bright with a kind warmness, and then gave Scarlett a gentle squeeze of her hand. "I love you like a sister."

And Melanie had said the words with such blunt honesty that Scarlett could not help but completely forgive her in that moment, letting go of that tiny piece of lingering resentment.

R&S

"Mother," Wade greeted, standing, when Scarlett found Rhett and the children in the nursery. Hesitantly, he approached her like she might shoo him away in the next instant, then gave her an anxious hug, only truly leaning in when she ran a hand through his hair.

"Good morning, Wade. It's so nice to see you."

"It is?" he asked in wonder, looking up at his mother with a sheepish expression.

Scarlett regarded him quizzically, always finding it strange how her children seemed to relish any sort of affection she showed them, other than Bonnie, now that she thought about it.

With a smile she answered, "Of course darling. Did you have a good time at Aunt Melly's?"

"Oh yes! We made a fort in living room with cushions and pillows. We played pirates…and princesses" he scoffed, glancing Ella's way.

"I was a princess!" Ella piped up, bounding over to Scarlett who gave her a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting.

"Were you?" she said with a laugh. "I'm glad you had fun."

Scarlett saw how Bonnie rested in Rhett's arms, half asleep, and realized what a liar Melanie was.

"I see someone did not sleep very well at all."

"No I dare say she did not," Rhett answered with a light chuckle. "She'll be a real treasure today I'm sure."

"Where were you Mother?" Wade asked finally.

"Oh I was…um visiting a friend."

"But you don't have any friends," the boy answered without thinking then slapped a hand to his mouth, realizing what he had said, his cheeks growing pink in the process.

It was on the tip of her tongue to answer tartly that she most certainly did have friends before the reality of his statement sunk in. Scarlett did not have any friends, not real friends, other than Melanie. The thought made her suddenly sad and at a loss for words. Wade looked like he wanted to shrink away and disappear, but Scarlett stilled him with a touch to his shoulder.

"You're right, they were not really friends. They were…"

Pausing, she looked to Rhett for help and he readily jumped in and said, "It was for work. Your mother needed to speak to some people about the mills that's all. She's home now."

"I'm glad you're home. I missed you mother," Wade mumbled, shuffling his feet and casting his eyes to the ground.

The words sent a genuine wave of warmth through her and she pulled him in for a brief hug. She hated how awkward she was around her children, almost as though she was not used to mothering, but there was not much to be done about it when the instincts did not come naturally to her. Rhett was always so at ease with children, something she envied to a certain point. It was like he was born to parent. Seeing the bright smile on Wades' face, Scarlett promised herself to make more of an effort with the children, as uncomfortable as it was at times.

"I missed you too sweetheart. All three of you."

"I was thinking perhaps we could go for a walk as a family today, although I don't think Bonnie will be joining us," Rhett added with grin at his daughter in his arms who had finally completely given up all effort to stay awake. "Why don't you and Ella get ready to go outside while we put Bonnie to bed? We'll meet you at the door."

The children rushed out of the room, excited to be doing something with both parents which was quite a rarity for them, and Scarlett looked to Rhett with a raised brow, not quite as enthused by the choice of family activity.

"A walk Rhett? That's your idea of a family outing?"

Rising to bring Bonnie to bed for a much needed nap, he replied, "Yes and why not? It's lovely outside today."

"You're lying," she pointed out with a little laugh, trailing closely behind. "Why don't you try telling me the truth, hmm?"

"Indeed?" Rhett said, turning around to face his wife after laying Bonnie gently in her bed and assuring she would stay asleep at least for as long it would take them to leave the house. "Am I getting as easy to read as you are, my pet?"

"Maybe you're losing your touch."

Letting out a short laugh and circling his arms around her waits to pull her closer, he replied, "Maybe I am. If you must know, I think it's important that we're seen out as a family today. In public."

"What do you mean?"

"I assume I need not remind you of the town of gossips we live with. They've undoubtedly all heard about your hotel excursion by now."

"But you were with me! At night, at the very least."

"Yes, and it's fortunate I was. Think of the ammunition they'd have if I wasn't."

"Wait," she said, wrenching herself out of his embrace, surprising him with her vehemence. "Is that why you did it? Is that why you really came to me at night?"

"No. Scarlett, you know that isn't true. They certainly weren't on my mind at the time. I had other things preoccupying my thoughts."

"Right," she acknowledged with sigh, feeling foolish all of a sudden.

Coaxing her into his arms yet again, Rhett questioned, "You do believe me?"

"Yes, I…I just hate them, Rhett. I hate them all," she groaned into his shirt then felt a hand run up and down her back in reassuring strokes.

"It will be over soon. We'll just quell the fire and show them we're happy. We are happy aren't we?"

He seemed so unsure and spoke so tentatively that Scarlett hugged him even closer, smiled up at him, and replied, "Yes. We're happy."

"Then it should not be much of a challenge to convince them."

"Mother, Uncle Rhett!" Wade called up the stairs. "We're ready!"

Laughing, Scarlett pulled away, grabbed his hand and started for the door. "We're needed."

"So it seems," he answered with a chuckle, lightly closing the door behind them as they made their way out of the room and down the stairs to the children waiting for them.

R&S

The couple sat in the library after their morning walk, Rhett with a book in his hand while Scarlett perused Harper's Bazaar, not really reading or paying much attention to the pictures as her mind was too occupied with the day's events. It seemed Rhett truly did know the town well because the citizens they passed in the streets seemed to have taken a great interest in the family, what with the way their eyes were glued to them like a juicy tad of gossip might appear to them at any second. While the stares were easy enough to ignore with an air of indifference and a head held high, Scarlett could not help feeling trapped. These people were insufferable enough as they were without them gossiping directly about her own personal family matters, and she was not certain that she could endure attending their committees with the way things stood at this moment.

The gossips had only cemented Scarlett's idea of a visit to Tara and escape Atlanta for a short period, but the problem was bringing the subject up with her husband who may not be as enthralled by leaving home when she had just gotten back. However, this appeared to be the perfect opportunity to bring up the idea since they were alone after all.

Sighing a few times in hopes of diverting Rhett from his book, she huffed then scowled when each attempt remained unsuccessful. _I could have left the room by now, and he would not have even known the difference, _Scarlett vehemently thought then contemplated launching a throw pillow in his direction. That would get his attention!

"Rhett, I think I've decided what I would like from you," Scarlett finally said aloud, tossing the Harper's Bazaar to the other side of the settee and pulling Rhett away from his reading.

"Already?" he asked skeptically, raising his eyes from his novel to look over at her. "I thought it was going to take some mulling over."

"I thought so too but I discovered what I wanted when speaking to Melly. I want you to take us to Tara for a spell."

"Why the sudden interest in Tara?"

"Because I'd like to see it for myself and I think it might help me with my memory. I also want to get away from the gossips for a little while."

"Your memory? I thought we decided that we were going to live in the present?" he said, his interest swiftly piqued at her wording.

"I can't explain it Rhett but I need to see it for myself. If I was willing to give so much just to keep my childhood home, it must have been important enough for me. Besides, wouldn't it be nice for us all to take a trip?"

"Can I not tempt you with some other place? New Orleans perhaps?"

"You know I'd love for you to take me there," Scarlett said fancifully, remembering how it had been where Rhett had told her that they had honeymooned not so very long ago. How wonderful it would be to regain those memories if possible! However, tenacity won out and she added, "But I need to see Tara first."

"Your sister will be less than pleased with our arrival."

"Oh who cares," she grumbled, crossing her arms in frustration. "I own a third of that home so you've said. She'll just have to manage."

"I couldn't tempt you with an excursion to a jewelry store? I'll even turn a blind eye when you select the most ostentatious pieces."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you have abominable taste in jewelry, my dear, but I'm willing to overlook it this once," he quipped with a playful wink, smirking when her cheeks flushed with just the hint of repressed rage.

"Oh and your taste is so beyond reproach! Who chose this?" she asked in a huff, lifting her glittering left hand to him to show off the gaudy diamond and emerald engagement ring.

"That lovely piece screams Scarlett O'Hara all over it. I had it tailored specifically to your tastes."

"What an eye you have for women's fashion Rhett, your talent is wasted at that bank."

He barked out a loud laugh, mirth dancing in the dark depths of his eyes, and Scarlett scowled back in return. "Why don't you want to take me to Tara?"

Sighing, he truthfully replied, "I'm afraid you'll be disappointed," his expression sobering at the seriousness of her tone. "I don't know what you're hoping to find at Tara."

"I don't know what I'm hoping for either, I just need to see it. You will take me there won't you?" she asked sweetly, taking a different approach as she plopped herself down in his lap and removed the book from his hands, dropping it carelessly to the floor.

"I believe I was reading that."

"Oh bother your book Rhett, will you take me?" Scarlett whispered, leaning in hesitantly to place velvet kisses along his jaw, brushing her lips down the length of his throat, lingering longer at his pulse point. She only stopped to look up when she heard a low groan then hid a satisfied smirk in the crook of his neck.

"Why are you stopping?"

A giggle was her only response before she continued her ministrations with more confidence as her hands ran up and down the planes of his chest, fingers deftly popping open the buttons of his shirt with deliberate slowness as she nuzzled his neck. It was always a surprise to find how warm his bare skin was in comparison to her own, and she laughed lightly when she felt a shiver run through him beneath her touch.

"You make it so hard to say no," Rhett sighed heavily, his fingers now lost in the tendrils of her hair.

"So you'll take me?"

"Yes, I'll take you."

"Thank you!" she squealed, scattering swift kisses all over his face until finally pressing her lips to his, kissing him full on the mouth.

"You know this doesn't have to count as my promise to make it up to you," he remarked when they finally drew apart. "It's hardly a favor."

Abruptly, she sat up straight to look him in the eyes properly. "It doesn't?"

"No."

"Well then, where's that jewelry store Rhett? Let's go! I promise I'll try to be good. You won't regret it."

"I believe I already have," he sighed dramatically, expecting Scarlett to hop off his lap and drag him to a shop only to be pleasantly surprised when she leaned back and snuggled closer.

"But maybe we don't have to go right now?" she dimpled sweetly, laughing when ambushed by intoxicating kisses in return, his arms ensnaring her securely and making it impossible for her to escape even if that had been her intention.

**Sorry for taking so long to update, especially when I promised a few people an update in early December. The holidays were much more hectic than they were supposed to be! Anyway, I hope this rather long chapter somewhat makes up for the delay. I can't say when the next update will be as I am currently writing a ficathon entry that needs to be finished for February, but I'll try not to take too long. Thanks again for reading and for all the lovely comments I've received! :) One day we will finally reach the end of this story, haha.** **A huge thank you to Estee111 for offering to edit this for me! **


	18. Chapter 18

**This is for the lovely individuals who have poked/encouraged/messaged me to update :) **

"Do you truly expect me to believe that you have no memory of Tara or of our family? Truly, Scarlett?" Suellen said with a bitter laugh after being taken by surprise by her sister on her doorstep one afternoon. She now found herself in the parlor listening to the most ridiculously concocted story about memory loss and other foolishness that she was nowhere near stupid enough to believe. "Why don't you tell us the real reason you're here? You came back for Tara. You want to take it away from me just like you've taken everything else away."

"It's no lie Suellen, and I suggest very strongly that you curb your tongue before I take the liberty of doing it for you," Rhett interjected with a note of warning and a possessive hand resting upon Scarlett's shoulder.

Laughing once again, though a laugh that held no real mirth, Suellen looked over at her husband. "Do you hear them, Will?"

"I don't think they're lying, Suellen," he answered simply.

"Of course they are! You always were such a manipulative little thing, Scarlett. Always getting everything you always wanted. Well…everything except for Ashley? Isn't that right?"

"Oh, how dare you!" shouted Scarlett in indignation, shaking off Rhett's hand and fighting the urge not to lunge straight for her throat.

"Will, I am giving you one warning as a mere courtesy to try and restrain your wife because in a moment I won't feel so generous," Rhett added with an eerie calmness that made Suellen instinctively take one step back away from Scarlett.

"I'm not scared of you. Of either of you. You didn't truly think we would believe a word of this. Why don't you come over here Wade and tell Auntie Suellen all about how your mother lost her memory."

The young boy was hiding in the crook of the doorway when he heard the adults shouting and decided to come over to investigate the scene. Pinked cheeked and timid, he walked over to his aunt with a look of pure confusion washing over his features.

"What's wrong with mother?"

"Nothing is wrong with me darling. I—" his mother started before being unceremoniously interrupted.

"Why didn't you know Wade? Your mother has no memory of her life. Not of you or of Ella or Bonnie, or even the rest of her family," Sullen scoffed with triumph, thinking she had just proven just how big a farce this charade truly was. There was no doubt in her mind that her sister would go to great lengths to obtain something she strongly desired. Now finding out what she truly intended to gain from this visit was a different matter altogether.

"Is that true Mother?" Wade asked then looked up at her with two big hopeful brown eyes waiting for her to alleviate the anxiety and make it right again.

"I…" she faltered, unable to form a coherent phrase.

"It is true isn't it," the boy surmised by the look of dread on his parents faces. Without thinking, he rushed out of the room and ran outside before he embarrassed himself by shedding the tears that brimmed his eyes in front of his family members.

"Oh I could kill you, you hateful thing!" Scarlett vehemently cried, looking she could strangle her sister at any moment. It was a true miracle that she managed to hold back this long.

"You mean like how you killed Frank Kennedy?" Suellen jeered.

"No more like how you killed our father!" Scarlett snapped, as did all former restraint.

Both women leapt forward in attack, ready to claw, scratch, bite and kick. The two husbands were quick to react and had their wives secured around the waist, though not before Scarlett had hastily grabbed a good chunk of hair and viciously tugged, causing her sister to wince and cry out.

"Scarlett, let go of your sister's hair," her husband urged like a parent speaking to an uncooperative child.

"Not until she apologizes for being a mean and nasty hateful thing!"

"I will never apologize to you!" Suellen retorted loudly, earning herself another painful pull of her hair. "Ow!"

"I hate you!" Scarlett cried with another pull. "I will hate you until I die!"

"And here I thought those charming insults were reserved just for me," Rhett chuckled softly. "Pity to find out I'm one of many."

Struggling to escape his grasp, Scarlett twisted and turned every which way but was still careful enough never to let go of her sister's hair in the process. "This isn't any time for your jokes, Rhett Butler. Let me go!"

"Indeed. I certainly don't see any humor in this situation. While the idea of you tearing out your sister's hair is nothing but delightful to imagine, I don't believe I will let you go just yet. How about a fair trade? You let your sister go and I will release my hold."

"Fine," she muttered reluctantly, giving one last spiteful yank before releasing Suellen's now tangled and mussed locks. As promised, Rhett let go though not without being perfectly prepared to intervene if Scarlett made any sudden movements. Will, on the other hand, did nothing to loosen the grip on his wife.

"You listen to me very closely, Suellen. I remember enough to know that you would not have a roof over your head if it weren't for me, thank you very much. I own a third of this house, just like you do, and I will stay as long as I like. And not only will you accommodate us with hospitality but you will also refrain from poisoning my children with your stupid remarks, or mark my words I will find a way to make your life miserable!"

"I believe already accomplished that years ago, sister dear," Suellen bit back then ripped herself out of her husband's arms and marched out of the parlor and upstairs where a door was resoundingly slammed.

"Find Wade, Rhett," Scarlett ordered before rushing out of the house in just as much of huff.

~R&S~

Hearing a rustling sound of oncoming steps, Scarlett turned around expecting to find Rhett only to be surprised by Will who had found her aimlessly walking the parameters of the cotton field.

"Hello, Scarlett."

"Hello."

"I was hoping I could join you for a few moments?"

"If you'd like," she mumbled though truly wished he would just go away. He was no doubt here to advocate for her sister and she would hear nothing of it.

"I know you may not remember me but we were friends at one time. We are friends."

"I do remember. Some of it anyhow."

"We've also always spoken frankly to one another."

With a cold stare, Scarlett finally looked the man in the eyes. "What is it that you have to say, Will?"

"I know you and your sister have not always gotten on well, but she's had a real hard time."

"Oh yes her life has certainly been a myriad of disappointments," Scarlett replied with dripping sarcasm. If there is anyone whose life had been dealt a cruel hand, it was her own. There was no arguing that she made had played a small part in her sister's eventual unhappiness in stealing her fiancé away, but when faced with the alternative, the guilt born of that misdeed was not all that staggering.

"What you said today was real hurtful and—"

"What I said? Didn't you hear what she said to me Will Benteen! Now Wade is upset and run off to God only knows where."

"I'm not excusing her behavior," said Will calmly, not unaccustomed to the fiery tempers of the O'Hara sisters.

"Seems to me you are. Seems to me you're taking her side because you're her husband."

"I'm not taking sides. I was just hopin' you could be the one to make amends."

"Fat chance at that," she said, cross-armed and fuming. "I'd rather die than apologize."

"Then you stayin' here is goin' to be real miserable for the lot of us, Scarlett."

"I'm sure I don't know what you think I can do about it. You saw that she hates me. She doesn't believe the real reason I'm here."

"She doesn't hate you. She's just upset is all, and I just want you to smooth things over with her," Will tried to reason though without much success as he saw Scarlett shaking her head.

"No."

"Please Scarlett."

"I. Said. No," she answered hotly, emphasizing each word like it was its very own sentence.

"I don't know who's more stubborn, you or Sue."

With a genuine laugh, she looked over at the man with pinkish hair and light blue eyes, and for the first time, truly saw him. Will actually appeared to care for her sister, fool that he was, and if anything he seemed to want to help in his own way. In that moment, she knew Suellen had married a much better man than she deserved. "Family trait is it?"

"Something like that. You know she didn't mean to involve Wade like she did. She's terribly sorry about it."

"Prostrate with grief I'm certain."

"I'm thinkin' this isn't what you were hoping your first visit would be like."

"It isn't."

"Then couldn't there be some way I could convince you to—"

"Oh fine!" she huffed in exasperation. The man was relentless. "I can't promise anything but I'll try."

"Thank you. That's all I'm asking. I'm real sorry about what's happened to you. Not rememberin' your family. That's a terrible thing."

"Don't feel sorry for me, I'm fine."

"Well…I hope you find what you're looking for, Scarlett. I really do."

Smiling brightly at the kind words, she replied, "Thank you, Will. I hope so too," then watched as he walked back towards their home. With a sigh, Scarlett took one last look around and followed in Will's direction.

~R&S~

Somehow Scarlett had managed to find herself sitting beneath the shade of old and gnarled cedar tree staring straight at the two graves her parents occupied. She had not planned on visiting their graves, not the first day visiting Tara anyhow, but after speaking with Will out in the fields, she had walked back home only to come across a path leading from the house, through the garden and into the place where she now sat. It did not take long for the tears to fall. One would think that having only bits and pieces of scattered memories would make it easier for a person to see where her parents rested, but it only seemed to make it that much worse.

From the corner of her eye, Scarlett saw Rhett coming down the path and she quickly wiped away the evidence of the tears from her cheeks.

Speaking first before her husband had a chance to mention the fact that her eyes were red-rimmed, she said, "You don't need to say it. I know this trip was a horrible idea."

"I wasn't going to say that," he replied easily, though taking note of the fact that her eyes were puffy from shed tears and that she was uncharacteristically sitting on the ground with nothing between the fabric of her newly purchased frock and the red earth.

"Why not? It's true."

"Scarlett—"

"Did you find Wade?" she questioned hastily, hoping to avoid yet another drawn out conversation that would only lead to more pity.

"I did."

"He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. He's simply confused. You should try to speak to him."

"I don't know what to say," Scarlett confessed then stood up and wiped the dirt from her skirts, avoiding Rhett's stare in the process. "You're better at these things than I am." She was just about to walk right past him before he blocked her path and stopped her with a gentle hand.

"Scarlett," Rhett murmured, wiping away the tracks of stray tears across her cheeks with both thumbs.

Looking up, Scarlett met his eyes for the first time then frowned. "Stop looking at me like that."

"How am I looking at you?"

"Like you feel sorry for me. Don't."

"You're misconstruing empathy for pity I assure you. Would it be so horrible for me to want to be there for you?"

"I don't think I'm used to it."

"I've always been there. Whether you've wanted me there or not."

"That wasn't always true though was it?"

"You are well aware of where I was during the war."

"Yes, I am aware. But when I was here, I needed someone and you weren't there. Nobody was."

"Our circumstances were different then. I couldn't allow myself to come to Tara with you."

"I didn't love you."

"It's hard to believe you do now. I find that I must keep reminding myself of just that. There were other things as well that kept me away."

Studying his features, Scarlett saw the words to be sincere, which was surprising coming from the man who could not stop toying with her. She would need reminding herself that Rhett was not accustomed to having his feelings returned. Overly obsessed with her own personal discoveries, it was easy to overlook what her husband might have been going through.

"Did you know that Ashley kissed me when he came back to Tara after the war?" Scarlet finally asked after a few moments of silence, a tiny grin tugging at her lips at his immediate grimace at that aforementioned name.

"Quite the honorable little gentleman, Ashley. You know I could have gone my whole life not knowing that particular detail, especially in this moment."

"Don't be mean. It was when we needed to pay the taxes on Tara and I went to ask him to help me somehow. He was there and he couldn't help me. Then I thought of you."

"And my rather deep pockets I imagine."

"Perhaps. My point is that I always seem to think of you when I'm in need, and you manage to come through somehow. So I believe that I can overlook the fact that you abandoned me on the side of the road with two children, a sick woman and Prissy."

"What vivid details you recall, Mrs. Butler. Dare I even presume I'm forgiven for _abandoning_ you? There appears to be some lingering resentment," Rhett jested with an undeniable smirk.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Leaning in, Rhett whispered, "Mhmm, always the terrible liar," then placed a gentle kiss to her lips only to have Scarlett pull him back in by his lapels and return the sentiment. There was no feeling that compared to the one when kissed her, making her feel winded and shaky while the rest of the world seemed to fade into oblivion. If only she had recalled their first kiss instead of one she shared with Ashley. Now that certainly had to be a memory worth recalling.

"Pa would have liked you. He never wanted me with Ashley," Scarlett said faintly when they ended their kiss, which elicited a burst of laughter from the impossible man standing in front of her. "Why are you laughing now?"

"Your father and I met once before, my love. While a memorable encounter, I doubt I was high on his list of favorite suitors."

"Were you a suitor?"

"Certainly. Not that you truly noticed. I believe you were too enraptured with the brave soldiers."

"I doubt you made it obvious," she countered with a roll of her eyes. Really, it was hard to even imagine a time where Rhett was completely forthcoming without being coerced into it. It was always riddles and jokes and twisted up words, and it probably was all that much worse when he knew she loved another man.

"You never were one for subtlety," Rhett grinned.

"You're hateful."

"It's part of my charm."

"Ha!" Scarlett scoffed then genuinely giggled at the look of feigned affront on his face. "You know Pa told me once that love comes after marriage for a woman."

"How insightful of him. You know there once was a devilishly handsome man who said something similar, not that you paid him much mind."

"You I suppose?"

"How did you possibly guess?" he teased, his two dark eyes dancing with evident amusement.

"Well you were both right then weren't you?"

"It appears that way doesn't it," Rhett remarked softly with a striking look of naked adoration mixed with wonderment, a look that left Scarlett momentarily breathless. "No one is more surprised than I am. What brought that memory on, or any of these memories for that matter?"

"I don't know," Scarlett shrugged and wondered how long she had been sitting at the gravesite. Somehow the memories had come on so effortlessly that it was nearly seamless in nature, almost like she had remembered the encounters all along. "It was a conversation Pa and I had once before the war started. He also said land was the only thing that mattered or lasted."

"A true Irishman to the end."

"I miss him. I don't remember it all but I still miss him. It must be one reason why I love it here so much. It's the only thing I have left of him or my mother. Of anything."

Laying a comforting hand on her should, Scarlett turned to him then walked into his arms. "He would have liked you."

"A true compliment coming from you."

"He wasn't himself when he passed on was he?"

"No, not from what you told me. He wasn't."

"It's horrid but that makes me feel better somehow. He must not have been happy." Water pricked behind her eyes at thoughts of her father, and she swiftly changed topics before an onslaught of tears took over. "Did you know Will asked me to make amends with Suellen?"

"Did he now?"

"Yes, and I don't know if I can do it Rhett. All I want to do scratch her eyes out!"

Chuckling, he replied, "Indeed. I believe you made that more than clear. Well, it's your decision not Will's."

"I already said I would. Heaven knows she is going to make this as difficult as possible."

"You agreed? I must speak to Will and ask him how he managed to coerce you into being so amenable?"

Scarlett stuck out her tongue then said, "Oh hush up. Let's go back inside and get this over with. I have both Wade and Suellen to manage."

"Scarlett," her husband called before she had a chance to leave.

"Yes?"

"Whenever there is something you remember, I want you to tell me."

"Oh don't be ridiculous, Rhett—"

"Promise me."

"What are you afraid of?"

"It's not out of fear. I'm here now and I want to be able to share the burden with you, even when you think I may not want to hear the particulars, such as other dalliances you may have had with a certain gentleman that I am not aware of."

Temper flaring, she bit back, "Oh don't you dare talk about dalliances with me Rhett when you—"

"Scarlett, promise me," he repeated, much to her growing annoyance.

"Oh fine, I promise. Are you satisfied?"

"For now," Rhett laughed as she walked away to find her son only to see her stop suddenly and face him again.

"Peg in a Low-backed car. The night you met Pa, you both came back to Aunt Pitty's and he was singing that song."

"It was one of many. You missed quite a performance. I dare say he had enough material to produce and star in his very own acapella musicale."

"I believe I heard more than enough, as did most of Atlanta who was woken straight out of their sleep."

"The night served its purpose. I remained invited to a Sunday dinner where I had the pleasure of your charming company."

"How you do run on."

"While I'm pleased that you're regaining some of your memories, do you think we should speak with Dr. Meade about this?"

"Why?" she nearly shouted in defense then lowered her voice. "This is exactly what I wanted. Why aren't you more excited?"

"I'd be more excited if I understood why this is suddenly occurring. Aren't you the least bit curious as to why it's happening now and so frequently?"

"No, why should I care about that?" said Scarlett dismissively. "All I am is relieved and pleased. I wish you would be too. This makes up for everything, even that insufferable Suellen. Why are you worried?"

"I'm not," Rhett lied in hopes of sidestepping an argument that was bound to occur if they discussed the matters further. Not only was it disconcerting to see Scarlett regain memories when no real explanation had been given as to why they had disappeared in the first place but it was also all the more worrisome not knowing what exactly recovering her memories would entail. There was no telling what would happen once she recalled more of her childhood, if it would ignite a flame of nostalgia and return old feelings one might have thought they had for a blond gentleman. There was also the unpleasant fact that some of the memories she had yet to recover were anything but gratifying in nature. While the reoccurring nightmare had yet to vanish completely, the frequency at which they plagued her had diminished. There was no doubt in his mind that the lack of wartime memories and the decline in nightmares were somehow correlated.

"We should find, Wade," Rhett added. "He was in the nursery when I last spoke to him. I believe he should come before Suellen."

"Oh don't remind me. I'd rather not speak to her at all."

~R&S~

With a few tentative steps, Scarlett was at the nursery door where her son was now hiding out. Taking in a deep breath, she knocked on the door and called, "Wade, may I speak with you?"

"Yes mother."

Hesitantly entering the room, Scarlett found her son on the floor with a book in hand. At her arrival, he dropped the book and stood immediately, looking more uncomfortable than she felt herself. With a small awkward smile, Scarlett took a seat on one of the child-sized chairs and folded her hands in her lap, unsure of how to begin.

"I just want to explain what you heard today," his mother finally uttered uncertainly, waiting for the boy to rush out of the room at one wrong turn of phrase.

"Uncle Rhett explained it to me," Wade replied, shuffling his feet and keeping his gaze to the ground.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"No."

"I know that can't be true," Scarlett tried again.

"You'll get angry if I ask you."

"I promise I won't be upset. Ask me."

"Did you only spend time with me Ella and Bonnie because you couldn't remember us? You never did before," her son asked honestly, looking his mother straight in the eyes and taking her by surprise at the blunt questioning.

"Oh I...No Wade that's not why."

"Why?"

Well if this was not the worst question to be asked. It wasn't like should could truthfully answer that she has no idea why she never spent time with her children. Why working seemed to take precedence in her life over most things. Why this role of mother just did not seem to fit with her personality or the fact that she felt terribly inadequate at it. Children were never overly fond of her it seemed, and it never made the prospect of her endearing herself to them more appealing.

Instead, Scarlett replied, "I had more time I suppose. I haven't been working at the mills as often as I had."

"You don't remember us at all?"

"I do remember a few things. Besides, if there is something I don't remember you could tell me couldn't you?"

"Yes."

"That's right. And Wade, I need you to promise me something. You're a little man aren't you? I can trust you?"

"Yes mother," Wade said with a hint of a grin and pride shining in his eyes.

"I need you to promise not to tell your sisters about this. They are too young to understand."

"Is that why you didn't tell me?" the child asked, trying to piece the puzzle together. "Because you thought I was too young to understand?"

"Yes, but I see now that I was wrong. Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Thank you," she said with smile, standing to leave only to stop herself at the last moment. "You like to read, don't you Wade?"

"Yes."

"I hated it as child. Couldn't stand it. There always seemed like there were far better things for me to do."

"You remember that?"

"Yes. It's funny the way things come back to me. Well you must get this love of reading from someone else."

"Aunt Melly?" he questioned happily as he was extremely fond of his soft-hearted aunt.

"She does love her books," Scarlett said with a little laugh, thinking of her friend.

"What do I get from you do you think?"

"Well…I don't rightly know. How are you with figures?"

"I'm one of the best in my class!"

"Well that's something you get from me I would think. I can add a long list of figures without a pencil or paper."

"What else?"

"I don't know. But when we find things we should tell each other."

"I would like that," Wade agreed, thinking that this would be one thing that only he and his mother shared, something that would not be touched or spoiled by either of his younger sisters. Something special.

"I'm glad. Why don't you go find Uncle Rhett. He was just about to take Bonnie and Ella to play a bit outside."

"Yes Mother," Wade complied but hesitated at the door, wishing he could hug her but fearing rejection.

Seeing the look on his face, Scarlett closed the distance between and ran a hand through his hair. "Go on. I'll be outside soon. I need to speak to Aunt Suellen for a minute or two."

~R&S~

"Suellen, I need to speak to you," Scarlett demanded when she finally found her sister moping in the parlor.

"What is it you want now Scarlett?" said her sister as she looked up from some sewing. "Haven't you insulted me enough for one day?"

"You are going to make this mighty difficult for all of us aren't you? I came here to ask for a truce."

"A truce with you?" Suellen asked incredulously then laughed. "No."

"Do you think I'm asking only for myself? I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine," Scarlett promised between clenched teeth as a burning rage began to boil yet again. There was no denying it. She simply did not like this sister and there would be nothing to change that, save for some miracle from the heavens that might alter her intolerably waspish sibling into someone else entirely.

"You're not even sorry are you?"

"Not for anything I said today. I meant every word. And I don't exactly see you jumping at the chance to apologize to me."

"I am sorry for what happened with Wade," she mumbled under her breath like it took every ounce of energy to even form the words .

"Truly?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. I'm sorry too."

"For what? I thought you meant _every_ word." she scoffed.

"For Frank," Scarlett confessed, though not without a hint of broken pride. "I know you may not believe me but I don't remember everything I did or for what reason. However, I do apologize."

"You've never apologized before."

"I probably wasn't sorry before." _Not that I am terribly sorry about it now_, she thought but didn't say.

"And you are now?"

"Yes, partly."

Suellen gave her the oddest look, like she was staring at someone she hardly recognized at all. "Why?"

"I love my husband now. And if you and Frank loved each other then I am sorry for taking that away from you. I can't be sorry for saving Tara. I never will. It must be why I've never said so before."

"I don't know what to say," she mumbled, eyeing her sister suspiciously.

"Just say we won't try to kill each other while I'm here. That's all I ask."

"We may be able to manage that."

"And I'm sorry for pulling your hair," she added for good measure in hopes that this truce might stick for the duration of her stay at Tara.

"Well if that isn't the biggest lie I've heard all day."

"You're right I'm not the least bit sorry about that," Scarlett admitted frankly then laughed at an image of throwing a buttered biscuit at Suellen's head across the dinner table.

Not in on the joke, Suellen stared at her sister like she had lost her mind, which brought Scarlett back to the present and sobered her expression. "May I give you a piece of advice?"

Suellen shot her scowl then continued on with her sewing. "I don't want any of your advice."

"I'm going to give it anyhow. Your husband cares very much for you, and while I'm sure there's nothing you like better than hating me for marrying Frank, you should appreciate what you have in front of you."

"I don't need marriage advice from anyone and certainly not from the likes of you."

"Perhaps. I suppose I wish someone had given me similar advice, not that I would have taken it."

"You have everything Scarlett and I have nothing. You have everything you could possibly ever want, fine carriages and new frocks and parties every night while I'm stuck here at Tara living off your charity."

"Where do you think I got my money Suellen? It certainly didn't fall straight from the sky into my lap. I had to work for it."

"Mr. Kennedy gave you your start and then you married a rich scallywag."

"Oh! Frank did nothing but give away charity to every poor soul who walked into the store. I can promise you your life would not be much different had you married him," Scarlett seethed and just barely managed to refrain from adding that the years spent married to Frank Kennedy were some of her worst. Where the words and recollections had come from, she didn't know, but it seemed that there must have been at least some truth to the thoughts.

Glaring accusingly, Suellen retorted, "I thought you couldn't remember?"

"I thought," Scarlett began then paused to rub away an oncoming headache at her temples. "I don't know. What's done is done now and there is nothing we can do to change it. I've apologized about Frank, and I don't wish to discuss it again."

Scarlett walked out of the parlor before her sister could say something that would spark yet another battle then glanced out the window only to see Rhett and the children playing some ridiculous game or another. As she was in no mood to for any sort of company, she passed right by and decided to mount the stairs to her childhood bedroom. The memories of marriage to Frank had been anything but pleasant, and she wanted to drown them out. _Damn this whole day,_ she thought then plopped herself on the bed while swinging her feet over the edge. It was not like she had expected for all her memories to be sugar coated and romantic, but it would have been nice had a few of them brought a smile to her face rather than an ambush of tears or a drumming headache. Nevertheless, it appeared that her memories were slowly returning, much to her delight, and tomorrow could not very well be much worse than this first day. Well, at least she hoped so.

**I'm sorry for taking so long to update, yet again! RL getting in the way as usual. Thank you again for all of your lovely reviews and continued interest :) Hopefully I can be more prompt in updating next time! I will try my best. I truly hate that it takes me this long to produce a new chapter. A huge thank you to the wonderful Bella for editing/reading this for me! I would not have posted this chapter tonight without her help ;) **


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